No matter where you're from or how you look like, if you live in London, it will always feel home.
I had the impression that you needed to be rich to live in London.
On Being an Outsider
51–60 of 115 posts
Re: On Being an Outsider
#52I have always loved Japan. I visited once, and made plans to move there. I lived in the heart of Tokyo for three years. I made a lot of friends, but being a white American, I came to grasps that I would always be a Gaijin, and that I would never fit in, no mater how well I spoke Japanese or adopted to their customs. I left Japan to focus on my future somewhere back in America. 10 years later I booked a three week tri…
Do you feel like being considered a gaijin was a form of racism towards you?
Not OP, but somewhat similar situation and conclusion.
Racism is too strong a word, it's more like sticking out. Like if you're the only one in large group who has black hair, or doesn't have a beard, or is a childless adult, or is religious, the assumptions of the group will from time to time remind you (and perhaps others) that you're unusual. I believe those are what are called micro-aggressions, though there need not be anything antagonistic about them.
It's fun to be different, exotic even, but it's also tiring, especially once the novelty has worn off and you just want to live like everyone else.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#53I'm glad people are talking about this. I think capitalism is extremely isolating. You have to move for your job, so people have to cut all the ties that they've made, leave their communities, friends, families....all for money. Sure you can make new ones, but after working and commuting for 8 to 10 hours a day you get home exhausted and on weekends you have to take care of personal errands. Now multiply this times m…
>Remote work is going to be awesome and huge to help with this.
I dunno, I've seen too many remote job opening with must be located in US, Western EU location requirements
Edit: grammar and clarity
Re: On Being an Outsider
#54Earlier quoted context omitted.
Do you feel like being considered a gaijin was a form of racism towards you?
Not OP, but somewhat similar situation and conclusion. Racism is too strong a word, it's more like sticking out. Like if you're the only one in large group who has black hair, or doesn't have a beard, or is a childless adult, or is religious, the assumptions of the group will from time to time remind you (and perhaps others) that you're unusual. I believe those are what are called micro-aggressions, though there need…
I felt this way visiting Pakistan last year. I’m a 6’5”, 120kg white dude. People asked to take a photo with me up to 10 times per day. I’d never felt so exotic in my life.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#55I moved for university to Toronto, Canada (from India) when I was 18. Despite having lived here for (nearly) 4 years, and loving absolutely every single minute of it, I don't know if and how I will ever be truly claim myself as being "from" Toronto. Everytime someone here asks me where am I from, I genuinely don't know how to answer them. Do I say I'm from India? Well, I haven't gone back once in these 5 years, and I…
I’ve read the comments also. I can connect - having left India in 07 for US. Can’t we have “multi-homes”? Out of all these 14 years, I’ve lived in Chicago for 10. It feels home now. When I’m here, I don’t feel like going to India, and when I’m there, I don’t feel like coming back here. So, It’s tough.
When someone asks me - “where am I from?”. I say - India. Because, I do not have native US speaking skills and I also want to remain connected with my roots.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#56Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why do you think skin color is the driving factor? People normally consider each other aliens even if they have the same skin color.
I'm asking OP if they do because of this line: >being a white American, I came to grasps that I would always be a Gaijin,
I find that Americans give to much weight to the skin color, it has the historical reasons there but often can't be applied in the same way outside the US.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#57Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why do you think skin color is the driving factor? People normally consider each other aliens even if they have the same skin color.
I'm asking OP if they do because of this line: >being a white American, I came to grasps that I would always be a Gaijin,
I thought they specified as they could've been Asian American, not because their race is the cause.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#58I moved for university to Toronto, Canada (from India) when I was 18. Despite having lived here for (nearly) 4 years, and loving absolutely every single minute of it, I don't know if and how I will ever be truly claim myself as being "from" Toronto. Everytime someone here asks me where am I from, I genuinely don't know how to answer them. Do I say I'm from India? Well, I haven't gone back once in these 5 years, and I…
I'm trying to accept that "from" is an open ended term in that context. If somebody asks a question like that, they should be prepared for a conversation and maybe a story. If they get annoyed and want to boil it down to a specific question, then fuck them for trying to reductively label another person.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#59I think your experience as an outsider is really going to depend on how you socialize, how much you do it, with whom, and other specific aspects of your situation. Such as which specific businesses you frequent. Some specific people will treat you more warmly than others. Some neighborhoods or neighbors will have more culture in common and with yours. That's the experience that I've had living in a few different part…
i found it helpful to join groups with activities of interest to me. for example in all the cities where i lived, i joined local linux user groups which always helped me to find friends.
those people often see themselves as outsiders as well, so they share your feelings even if they are locals. welcome to the local outsiders club. hackerspaces work like that too.
other not so popular activities work as well. if you play an instrument, irish folk sessions are easy to join. you don't even need to talk to anyone, just join in to play and you'll be welcome.
if you have kids, boy/girl scouts can be good to. if your kids have trouble finding friends in school, then being part of such a group will help them find a few kids that they have a special interest in common with.
martial arts i believe are also a good choice because they have a stronger focus on discipline and mutual respect than groups that just meet for fun. you can focus on your training while meeting people with the same interest.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#60I have always loved Japan. I visited once, and made plans to move there. I lived in the heart of Tokyo for three years. I made a lot of friends, but being a white American, I came to grasps that I would always be a Gaijin, and that I would never fit in, no mater how well I spoke Japanese or adopted to their customs. I left Japan to focus on my future somewhere back in America. 10 years later I booked a three week tri…
I kind of have always felt like an outsider in the culture I grew up in. So I actually prefer to be in a country where I am visibly an outsider because it feels more congruent and weird behavior from me is also easier to excuse or accept.
i had that experience as well, but i noticed that once i had a family i didn't care about that anymore, and i also feel that the older i get, the more i get to attribute differences to my age