On Being an Outsider
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On Being an Outsider
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Re: On Being an Outsider
#2I have always loved Japan. I visited once, and made plans to move there. I lived in the heart of Tokyo for three years. I made a lot of friends, but being a white American, I came to grasps that I would always be a Gaijin, and that I would never fit in, no mater how well I spoke Japanese or adopted to their customs. I left Japan to focus on my future somewhere back in America. 10 years later I booked a three week trip in Japan. Upon returning, it was bitter sweet. Most of the friends I had, had moved on. The city was now very touristy. And while I loved the food and culture, I knew that I would never live in Japan again. But I still love it more than anything.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#3Somewhat related: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome
Although impostor syndrome is usually talked about in the context of the workplace, not being a 'foreigner' in another city.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#4If only I felt that way about one thing. Imagine it being your entire life, and knowing that every time you do fit in it was through conscious effort. Wild.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#5I have always loved Japan. I visited once, and made plans to move there. I lived in the heart of Tokyo for three years. I made a lot of friends, but being a white American, I came to grasps that I would always be a Gaijin, and that I would never fit in, no mater how well I spoke Japanese or adopted to their customs. I left Japan to focus on my future somewhere back in America. 10 years later I booked a three week tri…
I kind of have always felt like an outsider in the culture I grew up in. So I actually prefer to be in a country where I am visibly an outsider because it feels more congruent and weird behavior from me is also easier to excuse or accept.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#6Live in this world, but be not of this world.
If you feel like a foreigner in this world, then that is a good sign. This is not ultimately your true home.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#7I think your experience as an outsider is really going to depend on how you socialize, how much you do it, with whom, and other specific aspects of your situation. Such as which specific businesses you frequent.
Some specific people will treat you more warmly than others. Some neighborhoods or neighbors will have more culture in common and with yours.
That's the experience that I've had living in a few different parts of the US and Mexico.
One thing that mitigates all of that a bit is the internet. Hacker News, for example, is the same place for everyone, in a way.
For me, I have always had poor social skills and little integration into communities, so it's not a big difference really. Other people who thrive on constant face-to-face social interaction may find things like language or cultural barriers to be more of an issue. But again, really depends who you are talking to. If the locals seem put off by your accent or something, the next bar over may be full of Americans if you are near a tourist area.
But on a deeper level, there certainly are real social consequences of being an outsider, as well as potentially a psychological disconnect if things always feel slightly off from the world that your brain grew up in.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#8I think your experience as an outsider is really going to depend on how you socialize, how much you do it, with whom, and other specific aspects of your situation. Such as which specific businesses you frequent. Some specific people will treat you more warmly than others. Some neighborhoods or neighbors will have more culture in common and with yours. That's the experience that I've had living in a few different part…
> I think your experience as an outsider is really going to depend on how you socialize ...
I'd disagree. Sometimes it's about who you are, not about what you do. In some societies you can blend in easily (like San Francisco), in some -- there's no chance, no matter what you do.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#9I have always loved Japan. I visited once, and made plans to move there. I lived in the heart of Tokyo for three years. I made a lot of friends, but being a white American, I came to grasps that I would always be a Gaijin, and that I would never fit in, no mater how well I spoke Japanese or adopted to their customs. I left Japan to focus on my future somewhere back in America. 10 years later I booked a three week tri…
Similar story, I had a friend who was born in Korea, came to the USA as a child, and was deported back to Korea at age forty. He felt like an outsider there, and four years later, committed suicide after a bout with depression.
Re: On Being an Outsider
#10Some really nice photos in the article.