Ask HN: How can a unhireable person get a job?

Your message reminds me of myself at your age. I took a long time to learn to be humble to see my flaws, which allowed others to appreciate my strengths. Keep hustling, but hustle with more empathy

I feel similar. I have a CS degree and what I would consider a wide range of experience. I've created social media sites, a encrypted file sharing site, a site for watching videos and chatting at the same time, a site for cooperatively solving a rubiks cube at the same time. I have developed a large number of video game mods including full game modes. I have developed both custom server software and modded server software for games along with backend systems to track players and integrating that data with a website. I have experience administrating linux servers. I have experience writing desktop applications with Qt. I have experience writing scripts to automate things. I have experience. I have a little experience writing code for embedded hardware. I have a little experience in writing velilog for CPLDs and FPGAs. I have a little experience designing PCBs.

I feel like I have plenty of knowledge that I can provide to a company, but I never hear back from anyone beyond a rejection letter template.

I'm probably just going to be a NEET until I come up with a good idea that I can monetize.

Yeah you should have given them advice on how to land a gig and not diagnosed them with NPD. I see where you're coming from and I agree it might be useful for OP to work on how they communicate, but that should be between them and a therapist.

Nepotism is very different than what was being described here.

I hope I'm not out of place in presuming to advise someone else, but you asked for "brutally candid", and it's late, so... :)

Is it fair to say that you're coming from what seems like an unusual background, and you have some demonstrated skills, and energy to learn more, but you're trying to figure out how you fit into current corporate America?

If so, I don't know whether the following simple exercise will help, but if you'd like to try for a moment... Imagine that you and a great hiring manager found each other. The manager saw potential in you, mentored you, looked out for you, was available for questions, gave you constructive guidance, and wanted you to succeed.

How do you feel about that situation? Would you trust trust the manager, and want to live up to the manager's belief and investment in you? Do you think you'd do whatever it takes to make that working relationship a great success?

If that's an inspiring dream situation for you, then I'd like to ask you to consider another scenario... Imagine that you're approaching prospective employers (maybe not the biggest, household-name ones). In that scenario, are you willing to invest like you would for our supernatural saint manager from the previous scenario (even if the reality is more human), look for the best in that relationship, and live up to your ideals, to make it a success?

I'd also like to ask a few rhetorical questions related to that... Have you been in a hacking (either meaning of the term) social environment/culture, in which cleverness and skills were valued? And where things like using a phone number allowlist to get through to a higher-up would be celebrated? Can you imagine different ways that different people might feel about you gaming their phone access controls, or going over their chain-of-command head with something? What if you were in an environment in which there were additional priorities, other than being smart and right? Would you be interested in understanding and pursuing those priorities?

Incidentally, separate from the above, it sounds like you're going through a stressful time. You're not alone, and most people go through difficult times, of various kinds. It sucks when you're in it, but it gets better, and you can help move it along towards better. One important thing to remember is that there's a huge thing of counselors (lots of people at all those organizations you mentioned have counselors). A counselor can make a big difference for the individual getting through rough situations, and also growing. I'd guess that Medicaid would cover something in that regard. You'd have to take the initiative -- ask a doctor for a referral, find an administrator who'll help you navigate the unfortunate financial side of things, ask for help with any confusing paperwork, etc.

I'm sorry I'm not in a position to hire right now, but my gut feel is that you can do great. A lot of people don't know/remember that they can ask for help, but you asking HN is a good step. And remember that you can also ask around in all kinds of other areas, until you find someone who's in a position to help, and work with them. In addition to the things you can figure out to do on your own.