Earlier quoted context omitted.
Eh, maybe a month ago I found a Coinbase account from 2013 that I had forgotten about, and it still had everything in it. Your story makes no sense. Coinbase support has always been pretty good for every problem I've ever had. Why talk to someone on the phone when you can click a button and have a live chat with a support agent instantly? https://help.coinbase.com/en/contact-us
Is this a plant? coinbase support is notoriously horrible, even my friend who works at the company thinks it's bad.
The complaints I've seen about Coinbase support are usually people who withdraw coins to the wrong address or something and are upset that Coinbase won't reimburse them for their own fuckups.
I have had several cryptocurrency exchanges straight up steal money from me and then ghost me. Coinbase has been a pleasure to work with relative to everything else in the crypto space.