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Social media addiction linked to cyberbullying

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61–70 of 103 posts

Re: Social media addiction linked to cyberbullying

#61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think partially it's that mainstream social media has become a hell-hole. I've found HN to be much better for discussion in general (recognizing that this is not the case for everyone), and have participated in IRC rooms and whatnot where if I spent more time I could probably consider the people there friends, while still retaining individualism. I tend towards grumpy isolationism however, so I may not be a good st…

I think your observations are accurate. I've also noticed the problem, and that private-ish group conversations like WhatsApp groups and small Discord servers are so much better than Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and co. The only problem is discoverability -- because groups like these are private, it's very hard to discover the ones you'd like to join. I'm currently working on an early-stage startup on this space, and…

> Do you think you could see yourself using something like this?

Myself personally, probably not. I mentioned I tend a bit towards grumpy isolationism, that's very much the truth.

I will participate in communities I stumble on, but can't see myself seeking them out.

That being said, if I were seeking a community, I could definitely see myself using a service like that.

Re: Social media addiction linked to cyberbullying

#62

I've thought about this problem a lot - I want to create a social network that has the following attributes: - $1 a year to participate - You must read posts/articles to reply. Imagine the mechanism in which this is determined to be "perfect." - No pictures - Karma is gathered by writing posts that are read a lot, as opposed to comments that have a lot of "upvotes." - Upvotes/downvoting doesn't exist. From my experie…

Why do you want to build a platform for a community ? That s the thing.

When I was a kid before facebook we had huge IRC and forum communities, with no ad, direct contact, true friends you d meet IRL sometimes. I know some who married.

Facebook is the opposite of an online community: it takes your existing relationship graph, the one with true deep value you kept secret from the internet before, and milk and milk it for every drop of attention you can give your waking hours to ads. Whatever it takes.

Re: Social media addiction linked to cyberbullying

#63
post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think it's only adolescents. You can see rich Google employees bullying poorer developers on Twitter in the name of social justice. Some of the bullies must be at least 50 years old. Social media and Twitter are bad because you can form virtual tribes and yield to age-old instincts. The more individualistic people are, the less they join those tribes. Individualists tend to be grumpy though, for which they ar…

In recent years, I have found my internet experiences enormously frustrating because I used to have real friends via internet. We exchanged Christmas presents. They helped me sort out how to raise my challenging children. I always had someone to talk with any time of the day or night when I was having insomnia or whatever. And I haven't had stuff like in recent years. I just thought it was me because I spent a few ye…

> Maybe the internet isn't what it used to be or something.

I really think this is what it is. Internet discussion forums used to self-select for curious people actively seeking out discussion. It wasn't hard to find meaningful interactions because most people who sought out forums were looking for something similar. Now that everyone is on the internet, the random person you interact with likely doesn't have the same disposition as before.

Re: Social media addiction linked to cyberbullying

#64
post #40

When you interact online, you fundamentally are interacting with only yourself. It is a solipsistic endeavor. You fundamentally choose which comments to respond to; unlike the real world, where a conversation occurs between two people, you can instantly drive into a conversation whenever you see fit, and leave whenever you wish also. Therefore, the choice of which conversation, which comment, is entirely yours. And s…

"every discourse on the internet is by definition completely a subset of the ego of the single individual."

Much different than non-internet discourse? Definitely feels different(shared experience), but unsure if it is - 'fundamentally'.

Re: Social media addiction linked to cyberbullying

#65
post #40

When you interact online, you fundamentally are interacting with only yourself. It is a solipsistic endeavor. You fundamentally choose which comments to respond to; unlike the real world, where a conversation occurs between two people, you can instantly drive into a conversation whenever you see fit, and leave whenever you wish also. Therefore, the choice of which conversation, which comment, is entirely yours. And s…

Bingo. This is why I pretty much stopped using facebook and twitter. Total waste of time services. Since then my productivity has improved and my mental health has improved as well.

Now I argue on HN instead.

Re: Social media addiction linked to cyberbullying

#66
post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think it's only adolescents. You can see rich Google employees bullying poorer developers on Twitter in the name of social justice. Some of the bullies must be at least 50 years old. Social media and Twitter are bad because you can form virtual tribes and yield to age-old instincts. The more individualistic people are, the less they join those tribes. Individualists tend to be grumpy though, for which they ar…

In recent years, I have found my internet experiences enormously frustrating because I used to have real friends via internet. We exchanged Christmas presents. They helped me sort out how to raise my challenging children. I always had someone to talk with any time of the day or night when I was having insomnia or whatever. And I haven't had stuff like in recent years. I just thought it was me because I spent a few ye…

>I just thought it was me

As a counter anecdote, I have a group of about 15 real friends on the internet that I met mostly on an instant messaging app. Real friends to the point of meeting up and going on holidays together without actually knowing their full real names.

Re: Social media addiction linked to cyberbullying

#67
post #46
post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a neat idea but what about people who only see each other in real time chats (voice or text)? You can stop reading but AFK you can also walk away and it's pretty much the same.

I think texts/video calls/etc. isn't social media, it's much more like conversation. That's why people (in general) are not nearly as mean or rude on a voice call or a 1-to-1 text chat. When you hear someone's voice or actually engage with a real time conversation (like a text chat, which you can't as easily just walk away from), they develop an interiority to you that forces you to empathize with them. The physical…

> I think texts/video calls/etc. isn't social media, it's much more like conversation.

> That's why people (in general) are not nearly as mean or rude on a voice call or a 1-to-1 text chat.

This doesn’t have to do with social media per se and is inherent to group dynamics. People are more rude as a rule in many-to-many conversations: where there is a group, there always lurks contention for status. Bullying is the most extreme case and is not the only one. (Speaking of, an insidious aspect of IRL bullying is how a bully can be compelled to be nice to the bullied if they meet away from the watching crowd, causing all sorts of twisted effects on victim’s psyche.)

“All” social media does is adds an element of scale to this.

Re: Social media addiction linked to cyberbullying

#68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bingo. This is why I pretty much stopped using facebook and twitter. Total waste of time services. Since then my productivity has improved and my mental health has improved as well.

Now I argue on HN instead.

No I don't.

Re: Social media addiction linked to cyberbullying

#69
post #40

When you interact online, you fundamentally are interacting with only yourself. It is a solipsistic endeavor. You fundamentally choose which comments to respond to; unlike the real world, where a conversation occurs between two people, you can instantly drive into a conversation whenever you see fit, and leave whenever you wish also. Therefore, the choice of which conversation, which comment, is entirely yours. And s…

"every discourse on the internet is by definition completely a subset of the ego of the single individual." Much different than non-internet discourse? Definitely feels different(shared experience), but unsure if it is - 'fundamentally'.

The reasons for the difference as pointed out by the parent comment are valid and are what is making the interactions different, but I think it might not be "fundamentally". I can also choose which comments I respond to, which conversations to interject in, although it is a markedly different and easier experience to do so - online it's as easy as closing the tab or scrolling to another comment. Offline I need to not only ignore a comment/person, but also keep in mind a variety of other factors which don't exist online. Something that will always be lacking offline though is the infinity of possibilities.

Re: Social media addiction linked to cyberbullying

#70
post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think it's only adolescents. You can see rich Google employees bullying poorer developers on Twitter in the name of social justice. Some of the bullies must be at least 50 years old. Social media and Twitter are bad because you can form virtual tribes and yield to age-old instincts. The more individualistic people are, the less they join those tribes. Individualists tend to be grumpy though, for which they ar…

In recent years, I have found my internet experiences enormously frustrating because I used to have real friends via internet. We exchanged Christmas presents. They helped me sort out how to raise my challenging children. I always had someone to talk with any time of the day or night when I was having insomnia or whatever. And I haven't had stuff like in recent years. I just thought it was me because I spent a few ye…

You're not wrong, the internet isn't what it used to be. Google "2007 the year when the internet went to shit" to get a minuscule glimpse of what happened.
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