Myth #11: all introverts are exactly alike I think it is worthwhile to note that not all introverts are alike. I can tick off some similiarities in this list with myself, but my experience of being an introvert is quite different. ymmv.
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Myths About Introverts
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Re: Myths About Introverts
#22Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts. I don't know if "fix" is the right word in the complete, but they can definitely change. I used to follow that list pretty closely - and while there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that, I realized that it can be extremely socially disadvantageous. Regardless of how smart someone is, it's an undeniable fact that in this world, almost all the time, you…
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Re: Myths About Introverts
#23Earlier quoted context omitted.
As an introvert, i understand very well how extroverts think. For years i tried to become more extroverted, only to discover at a certain point that it's a dysfunctional path that leads to a superficial, seemingly fullfilling but unfocused and non-goal-directed lives. The nuance of conversation is a charm, it fades fast. The way I see it is time management: life is short, do you want to spend most of it dealing with…
And an extrovert trying to become an introvert would probably find himself incredibly bored and lonely. They're just two different orientations, we don't need to be constantly asserting superiority over one or the other.
I agree with your sentiment but I think you're railing against the tide here. Asserting superiority is what people do. It's largely hardwired.
Re: Myths About Introverts
#24I love his myth #3 response. "Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries" reduces to "Introverts are rude."
Personally I don't think the average introvert is rude. I think that not because I redefine what "rude" means, but simply because on average introverts are polite people just like extroverts. Sure, there are socially maladjusted introverts who think that communicative efficiency scales with bluntness. (Hint: making someone feel insulted or defensive is likely to slow you down a lot more than the taking the effort to word criticism cautiously.) Just like there are extroverts that think it's ok to shout someone down or make fun of them until the acquiesce to whatever the extrovert wants. But I don't know that rudeness is more common in either of intro- or extroverts.
Re: Myths About Introverts
#25I think it will be very interesting to see a poll for introverts vs. extroverts. Unfortunately I don't have enough karma to create it...
Re: Myths About Introverts
#26#1 Introverts are not introverts. It's a generalization and simplification that's more often wrong than right.
Re: Myths About Introverts
#27Here's a myth held by introverts. Introverts (rightly) believe that extroverts don't understand them, but they don't understand extroverts as well as they think they do. Case in point, the commonly held belief on HN that extroverts mostly BS their way through life while the introverts are doing the real work. In reality we introverts probably don't understand how incredibly nuanced seemingly superficial relationships…
As an introvert, i understand very well how extroverts think. For years i tried to become more extroverted, only to discover at a certain point that it's a dysfunctional path that leads to a superficial, seemingly fullfilling but unfocused and non-goal-directed lives. The nuance of conversation is a charm, it fades fast. The way I see it is time management: life is short, do you want to spend most of it dealing with…
You're implying that the introvert/extrovert split as a choice.
Re: Myths About Introverts
#28Myth #3 – Introverts are rude. Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Yes, this is often called being rude. It may be true that by this guys definition introverts don't mean to be rude, but if a person (introvert or otherwise) acts as described above, that is rude.
> this is often called being rude. By extroverts. Meanwhile, many introverts consider it rude to waste their time with meaningless chatter .
Not just by extroverts. Some of us introverts also agree with the common definition of the word "rude."
It's pointless to say that X is not Y by redefining Y. When Y has a commonly understood definition, the more useful thing to do is debate whether it is important to be Y.
Re: Myths About Introverts
#29This is relevant to my interests.
Re: Myths About Introverts
#30Myth #3 – Introverts are rude. Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Yes, this is often called being rude. It may be true that by this guys definition introverts don't mean to be rude, but if a person (introvert or otherwise) acts as described above, that is rude.
Being rude is also largely cultural. Sometimes American niceties although superficially are very pleasant can get tiring to people who tend to be more introverted and are from cultures that are more straightforward. Many people I've personally known complain that German flight attendants seem rude which I think is more a cultural difference than anything else. Similarly, however difficult it might be, one must always be judged to be rude or not based on intent and not body language or tone alone (at least, give him/her the benefit of doubt).