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Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

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Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#491

Post by redis_mlc »

redis_mlc wrote: post #137
p0d wrote: post #105

My wife and kids. I'm 50 and re-evaluating friendships outside the home. I have realised that most of my friendships are not mutual. I stopped contacting most of my friends over 9 months ago and have not heard back from most for 6 months to never. My own family experience wasn't great. I now realise to have a wife who actively cares for you, looks out for you, is probably the most meaningful thing that can happen to…

I understand your POV, but there is a risk with severing your friends and relying on your wife for social engagement: if you're ever divorced, you will have nobody but yourself. Men should always be on their purpose and improving their life, including cultivating your own friends and family. Note that during any divorce, your ex-wife will actively and immediately poison mutual friends and family as part of her playbo…

For those downvoting me, most marriages end in divorce, and most men have no idea what's happening to them since 70% to 90% of divorces are initiated by the wife.

It's important to know that:

- a marriage contract is a court-enforced business contract, not something romantic

- men usually pay for both lawyer teams (wife and husband)

- your social circle will be attacked and usually destroyed

- your wife will be asked to file abuse charges against you

- if your wife wants to punish you, she will contact your employer and try to get you fired.

- and alimony and child support last a long time. Without preparation, you will end up living in your car.

- you will likely suffer depression/PTSD for a year or more through this process, regardless of who initiates the court process.

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#492

Post by bloodorange »

tasuki wrote: post #201
heavenlyblue wrote: post #140

I’ve bought rollerblades in May and learnt how to skate having never skated in my life before. Can do 180 now and going down the stairs now. Learning a new trick every few weeks is energising - I almost forgot how easy it is to learn how do do something by just paying enough attention to the lessons.

I'm a passable ice skater, tried roller blading, but am super scared of falling down and hurting myself. I feel way less stable on roller blades, or perhaps it's the fear? On ice, one just falls on ice... on roller blades, one can fall down the stairs etc, it just seems much scarier.. any advice?

On ice, when you fall, you slide and it's not so bad as a lot of momentum is transferred to the sliding movement. On inline skates, you don't have that benefit. Definitely wear wrist guards, knee guards and a helmet like heavenlyblue has already suggested. Also, if you can find someone who teaches inline skating, take some lessons in stopping. If you are 100% comfortable and confident in being able to come to a halt safely or slowing down safely, you will skate with more confidence. Also, taking lessons might help improve your technique. Some aspects of efficient movement on inline skates (or on ice) are typically not instinctive.

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#493

Post by ragebol »

guilhas wrote: post #469
ragebol wrote: post #443

Our first child. Born last June. Working from home with a baby there too for most of the time has been quite OK actually, much better than expected. Since the pandemic hit we have both been working from home (I already was working remote) and I can't imagine coming home from work at eg. 17:30 and then the kiddo going to bed at ~19 so I would only see him for a short while. Without, the pandemic would have been much m…

Same, August. Very challenging and very rewarding. A lot of work and sleepless nights, but all worth it to see that tiny person smiling for just seeing you. Never though a toothless smile could be so cute.

Haha. The tiny-2-bottom-teeth smile is also very cute, I can assure you.

Biting mommy while feeding is less cute though. But overall, it's amazing to see the development and skills improve week by week. I'm working in robotics, my kids manipulation skills already surpassed that of many robots :-)

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#494

Post by [deleted] »

dennis_jeeves wrote: post #397
oleander73 wrote: post #303

I retired (after getting diagnosed with incurable cancer). I was a workaholic and never thought I could quit so easily, but after quiting I don't miss work and I'm a lot happier (despite the cancer thing). If you are obsessed with work and in a position to take a few months off, please consider doing this. It may change your perspective.

What cancer do you have? (Also have you been looking outside mainstream cancer treatments?)

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#495

Post by dennis_jeeves »

oleander73 wrote: post #484
dennis_jeeves wrote: post #397

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What cancer do you have? (Also have you been looking outside mainstream cancer treatments?)

Prostate cancer. No, I have limited faith in medical science and none whatsoever in alternatives. Like I said, I'm quite happy and don't cling to life. I'll enjoy whatever time I have left to the max, but there's no need for me to maximize my time on earth (i.e. quality over quantity).

>Prostate cancer.

Generally benign in my opinion.

(also here is an interesting read by the developer of the PCR test: https://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/10/opinion/10Ablin.html )

>No, I have limited faith in medical science and none whatsoever in alternatives.

You are inadvertently doing the right thing. ( yep , there is a lot of nonsense in both mainstream and alternative).

Long (quality) life to you...

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#496

Post by in9 »

Last semester I finished a gradutate course as an external student in the statistics program of the best university in the country. I have a goal of getting into grad school this year, but I'm old-ish (30 yo in april). The fact that i was able to be one of the best grades (if not the best) really made me happy.

I struggle with the idea of going to grad school for a while now. My family gives me zero support and during the years where I was younger and could focus solely on getting, my parents had a massive divorce, which didn't help me at all. I don't test very well, and the entrance exams tend to be tough. Even though I switched areas after those years (I wanted to ge into economics and now statistics) I feel a bit more confident in my math skills. With the added maturity of a few years, I think I can manage getting in without my parent's support.

I only have to not drop the study habbits. But it is hard with work from home and the depression vibes my country is in (Brazil, btw).

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#497

Post by drited »

Spending time with my kids (but that isn't a change from normal times).

Since I live in a rainy country which enforced a 5km movement restriction over the winter and have young kids who needed home schooling and minding in the evening, what was a change was exploring different apps in VR after they'd gone to bed with the Oculus Quest 2. There's something about getting out into different places.. Seems like a basic human need. VR helped to scratch those itchy feet!

While I was stuck at home I even switched from working out on the cross trainer to working out with The Thrill of the Fight VR. I was amazed to discover that by really going at it I can get the same or better workout heart rate stats in Thrill of the Fight to the fairly intense level I was doing on the cross trainer. So much fun. It really doesn't take much motivation at all to work out that way.

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#498

Post by Sammi »

giantg2 wrote: post #328
piptastic wrote: post #308

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hmm I can maybe understand why you think you’ll be a mid level dev without putting in hours.. you didn’t mention your location so not sure. But why in the world can’t you afford to change jobs? Plenty of places need mid level devs and it doesn’t cost anything to change jobs.. in fact they usually pay you more.

The company I'm at requires longer hours for promotions (unofficially of course). I worked as a tech lead and the a senior dev a few years ago. They wouldn't promote me unless I worked at least an extra hour per day. That system ended up being outsourced and I had to get a new position at the same company. The tech was obscure (FileNet) and thevonky other position I could get was in equally obscure tech (Neoxam). The…

This reads like an ad for Resume Driven Development.

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#499

Post by M5x7wI3CmbEem10 »

dave_sullivan wrote: post #124
fratlas wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How'd you convince someone to let you?

As a consultant, you can choose the days that are open for booking, a lot of companies don't need full time help or can't afford it, and I'm highly productive when I don't hate a project. So it works out.

may I ask what kind of consulting and how you got into it? I’m a final-year in uni trying to ensure I don’t stay locked in golden handcuffs.

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#500

Post by M5x7wI3CmbEem10 »

dave_sullivan wrote: post #98

2.5 day work week. Peak performance on those days at a decent daily rate, then I get to fuck around on whatever for the rest of the week. Wednesdays are my fridays.

how do you handle health insurance?
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