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Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

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Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#351

Post by throwawaybbqed »

jmfldn wrote: post #260
d3nj4l wrote: post #65

Working from home. I realised being in an office - especially an open-plan office - was setting off my social anxiety all the time. Working in a place where I could choose to engage with people instead of having it forced upon me made it so much easier to work. I became a lot more productive and started enjoying what I did, even picking up more side projects and learning actively. It's a shame it's coming to an end,…

"Working from home. I realised being in an office - especially an open-plan office - was setting off my social anxiety all the time." This! It's been such a game changer for me too. My career has been turbo charged over the last year. The change has been so dramatic that I won't switch to a company that doesnt have a remote-first policy. I'll forego money and promotion opportunities for it. The stress and anxiety red…

I'd like to point out that as a manager, my stress and anxiety level have gone through the roof during this WFH period. As I was an IC for many years, I completely see your point but I'd like to point out the other side. I've talked to several other managers in my org, and I am not alone. Some part of it may be that older people (who are likely to be in management) are more likely to have kids (which led to untenable situations during school lockdowns).

Flexibility in producing the "right" work product is really key. In many large corporate environments, figuring out what is the right work product is possibly more work than the work itself. I have a feeling we may even see different models between different types of companies (nimble startups vs small companies vs large corps). In my personal org, what you are describing can be viewed as an engineer "phoning it in" .. as the engineer is depending on their manager or team lead to assign them the right work. An IC who phones it in may think they are a top producer but will get surprised when it comes to their career progression.

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#352

Post by Viker »

mft_ wrote: post #339
pothrow wrote: post #329

Quitting porn. At age 45, having been addicted since first finding I could download over 1200 baud dialup on my parents phone line and watching Cinemax late night through the static, it has just been a thing in my life almost daily and honestly I'd given up on caring whether it was a bad thing or not. I'd felt guilty about it sometimes, and sure, tried to quit on a number of occasions, but always ended up back within…

What downside(s) did you experience, that led you to want to give it up? From an outsider’s perspective, I’m wondering why spending time watching porn is ultimately much different from time spent with any other sedentary pastime?

Because you end up feeding a primate/reproductive prime control system, using unlimited and synthetic input. The system was never designed for the this kind of "bandwidth". Since we are biological machines, other parts of the organism need to compensate... This compensation is very dangerous in the long run both from a personal and a social side.

You could argue the same about entertainment. But seeking it is not a prime directive on an organic level opposed to reproduction.

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#353

Post by forinti »

gpanders wrote: post #347
forinti wrote: post #315

Studying Russian. What a beautiful language and culture. I just love to listen about Russian culture and history. Their museums have wonderful social media channels.

Any resources you’d recommend for someone interested in doing this?

There are some really cool teachers on Youtube. Russian with Max, Russian with Dasha, О русском по-русски (this one has the best lessons).

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#355

Post by disabled »

NanoWar wrote: post #319
disabled wrote: post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah train ride videos are amazing. I cannot put my finger on why though. I guess because it is mellow, chill, and open-ended. Plus you get to see all of this terrain and the changes to it in an easy to process way, on a time scale. Trains are a lot more comfortable to be on, or even watch, than airplanes, although airplanes often get you from point A to B faster. I also like going on “walks” on VR, on Google Earth V…

You might enjoy Tiny Rails for Android then ;)

Thank you so much! :-)

It looks awesome and I am about to try it out!

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#356

Post by azeirah »

csixty4 wrote: post #264

Transitioning my gender. Living my truth. Coming out to everyone in my life and being forced to confront the shame that held me back for decades. It took a lot of reflection and was cause for a lot of growth. But now I'm not only mentally happier, I'm taking better care of my body because it finally feels like it's my own.

Same same same same same! A lot of positive things have happened in the last year, met my first serious girlfriend (and living together now!), got two cats, moved to a larger apartment.

Transitioning has enabled all that. I wouldn't have gotten cats alone, I didn't experience romantic feelings prior to taking hormones.

Am so so much happier now

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#357

Post by oliwarner »

A new house with half an acre, and a ride-on.

This has had to compete against a newborn, homeschooling and actually getting moderate symptoms of covid (I still get breathless, 1y on)... But yeah, zooming around on a miniature tractor is just the best.

I feel real guilt when I consider people are trapped in cities in a pandemic.

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#358

Post by Viker »

giantg2 wrote: post #275
d3nj4l wrote: post #65

Working from home. I realised being in an office - especially an open-plan office - was setting off my social anxiety all the time. Working in a place where I could choose to engage with people instead of having it forced upon me made it so much easier to work. I became a lot more productive and started enjoying what I did, even picking up more side projects and learning actively. It's a shame it's coming to an end,…

The move to remote work is saving me about 1.5 hours of commute each day, plus a couple hundred in gas money each month. The return to the office later this year will be brutal.

I will be refusing to return to the office for several reasons:

1- the threat of Covid is not going away in the next 2-3 years. I am no risking it!

2- I and everyone in my team have been more effective, less stressed working from home for more than a year now. Why would I go back to a less efficient way of work?

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#359

Post by lupin3ken »

DyslexicAtheist wrote: post #227
redis_mlc wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I understand your POV, but there is a risk with severing your friends and relying on your wife for social engagement: if you're ever divorced, you will have nobody but yourself. Men should always be on their purpose and improving their life, including cultivating your own friends and family. Note that during any divorce, your ex-wife will actively and immediately poison mutual friends and family as part of her playbo…

I had to vouch for this comment. I get that this looks misogynistic, but what parent describes is exactly my experience. It literally describes my post break-up relationship with my wife. the meddling of her led to poisoning of my relationship with the kids. she was the one who was hitting me any time there was an argument, threw plates and glass, or became physical in other ways that I had no choice than call the po…

Good on you for getting out and showing your kids that it is ok to leave a bad relationship (even if they don't realize that is what you are doing at the time).

My father married a woman (my stepmother) who was abusive and manipulative and it took him awhile to be decisive and leave.

I didn't appreciate how hard it was for him to leave at the time and blamed him for part of it.

Now (a couple decades later) I am just grateful we got out at all.

Your kids might not realize everything that is going on right away. From my experience, there is a good chance they will see all you did for them one day.

Re: Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

#360

Post by jeffreyrogers »

snidane wrote: post #346
twic wrote: post #257

Buying a dishwasher. 1. Less drudgery means more time to relax 2. Less pressure to minimise kitchenware use means more ambitious and enjoyable cooking 3. I just get a little jolt of happiness when I walk into the kitchen and see my large cuboidal son sitting there

If you cook and have to clean large pots and baking trays, then dishwasher doesn't help you with that as much. These items cannot fit into a regular home dishwasher and these take the most time to clean and dry compared to washing plain plates and utensils. Also dishwashers are not good for roommate arrangements because unless strict rules are enforced things keep piling up in it or you cannot put stuff inside while…

If you have a big family they save a fair amount of time.
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