Success depends on emotion management
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Success depends on emotion management
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Re: Success depends on emotion management
#2Please can people stop using absolutist epithets like this.
Managing your attitude, emotions, and the stories you tell yourself will help a lot.
If you do it badly, it will increase your chances of failure.
Doing it well will not determine your success. That’s just magical thinking. It will predispose you for success if the other conditions are right for it, but nothing more.
Re: Success depends on emotion management
#3Please can people stop using absolutist epithets like this. Managing your attitude, emotions, and the stories you tell yourself will help a lot . If you do it badly, it will increase your chances of failure. Doing it well will not determine your success. That’s just magical thinking. It will predispose you for success if the other conditions are right for it , but nothing more.
I understand what you're saying, but honest question: why is it helpful to add this caveat?
Re: Success depends on emotion management
#4Please can people stop using absolutist epithets like this. Managing your attitude, emotions, and the stories you tell yourself will help a lot . If you do it badly, it will increase your chances of failure. Doing it well will not determine your success. That’s just magical thinking. It will predispose you for success if the other conditions are right for it , but nothing more.
I understand what you're saying, but honest question: why is it helpful to add this caveat?
The caveat is helpful because there's a lot in life that you can't control. Luck plays a part in both success and failure. If you believe that your failures are solely your fault you will be unreasonably discouraged . If you believe your successes are due to you and you alone you'll turn into a jerk.
It's true that your attitude and behaviors matter. Competence is usually rewarded, and you should act in accordance with that truth. But it's not absolute. Life is not a meritocracy (whatever that really means).
Re: Success depends on emotion management
#5This is such an important lesson. The high order bit in any success is the decision to go for it. Determination is more important then anything.
I worry greatly, about how young people today are thought, that's the world is stacked against them and especially for minorities and women. Its true that the world is a very unfair place, but to change it we need encouragement, not horror stories.
Re: Success depends on emotion management
#6Earlier quoted context omitted.
I understand what you're saying, but honest question: why is it helpful to add this caveat?
The caveat is helpful because there's a lot in life that you can't control. Luck plays a part in both success and failure. If you believe that your failures are solely your fault you will be unreasonably discouraged . If you believe your successes are due to you and you alone you'll turn into a jerk. It's true that your attitude and behaviors matter. Competence is usually rewarded, and you should act in accordance wi…
I think the lesson is, no matter how good or bad you have it, things outside your control can make it or break it, so forget about trying to predict the future and just go for it.
Or as an old space pirate once put it "never tell me to odds!"
Re: Success depends on emotion management
#7This is such an important lesson. The high order bit in any success is the decision to go for it. Determination is more important then anything. I worry greatly, about how young people today are thought, that's the world is stacked against them and especially for minorities and women. Its true that the world is a very unfair place, but to change it we need encouragement, not horror stories.
This is something I think of fairly often.
Telling young people that the world is ruled by a clique of powerful old white men who conspire to keep them oppressed must be crushing, especially if done incessantly.
A cynical part of me says: see, sowing and cultivating frustration is precisely what some politicians need to reap power. They might not gain as much power if their voters had more self-esteem.
Re: Success depends on emotion management
#8Please can people stop using absolutist epithets like this. Managing your attitude, emotions, and the stories you tell yourself will help a lot . If you do it badly, it will increase your chances of failure. Doing it well will not determine your success. That’s just magical thinking. It will predispose you for success if the other conditions are right for it , but nothing more.
I understand what you're saying, but honest question: why is it helpful to add this caveat?
Because "your attitude determines your success" explicitly states that if you fail it is because of your attitude. People fail for many reasons, usually a combination of reasons. Attitude is just one factor.
It is very comforting for people who are high on the social ladder to believe in a meritocracy: it lets one their successes are due to their superior character, and those who are on the bottom of the ladder are there due to a failure of character.
Re: Success depends on emotion management
#9This is such an important lesson. The high order bit in any success is the decision to go for it. Determination is more important then anything. I worry greatly, about how young people today are thought, that's the world is stacked against them and especially for minorities and women. Its true that the world is a very unfair place, but to change it we need encouragement, not horror stories.
This is something I think of fairly often. Telling young people that the world is ruled by a clique of powerful old white men who conspire to keep them oppressed must be crushing, especially if done incessantly. A cynical part of me says: see, sowing and cultivating frustration is precisely what some politicians need to reap power. They might not gain as much power if their voters had more self-esteem.
> Telling young people that the world is ruled by a clique of powerful old white men who conspire to keep them oppressed must be crushing, especially if done incessantly.
If you're a young white man with a fighting chance of becoming one of the next generation of powerful old white men, I can understand where you might find that unnecessarily demoralizing.
But for everybody else, it's the bitter truth they nevertheless need to know. And the only way to change this is at the systemic, political level.
Re: Success depends on emotion management
#10This is such an important lesson. The high order bit in any success is the decision to go for it. Determination is more important then anything. I worry greatly, about how young people today are thought, that's the world is stacked against them and especially for minorities and women. Its true that the world is a very unfair place, but to change it we need encouragement, not horror stories.
I think white men are more oppressed than minorities and women. We are underrepresented in silicon valley companies [0], in higher education [1], asians and jews far out perform us in salary and acceptance into top universities compared to their relative demographic proportion [2].
I think it is about time to start talking about asian privilege and how white people are oppressed. I'm sure I'm going to get downvoted, but I am completely serious in this.
[0] https://gigaom.com/2014/08/21/eight-charts-that-put-tech-com...
[1] https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/the-degrees-o...
[2] https://www.mindingthecampus.org/2019/06/22/are-the-doors-to...