Earlier quoted context omitted.
What if, and hear me out on this, the person needs to take their workstation with them to multiple locations? Or, as can be the case with smaller quarters, simply wants to? Yes, desktops have this featureset. Why don't laptops, is the point of the article. (Answer: either laziness, arrogant design aesthetic, or NSA conspiracy)
Laptops, by necessity, have smaller fans, since they're smaller. Same amount of cooling with a smaller fan means the fans spin faster, and faster fans are louder. Laptops simply can't have acceptable performance with adequate cooling unless you're willing to compromise on either noise, or running x86.
Let the bottom be essentially be a battery, keyboard, mouse, and a docking station. And the lid be processor, memory, a m.2 for storage and an m.2 for wireless. Put a big, but thin fan on top of the processor and lots of venting on the side. Probably won't be very thin though.