Earlier quoted context omitted.
Until you realize that some achievements are needed to have good relationships.
I'm curious what those would be
Some development of personality, kindness, etc. can be considered achievements.
Why is the deathbed perspective considered so valuable?
81–90 of 156 posts
Re: Why is the deathbed perspective considered so valuable?
#82The most poignant last words I heard from someone about to die, and did 2 hours later: "I don't want to die." Gives one a lot to think about.
> "I don't want to die." Gives one a lot to think about. Doesn't seem poignant, I think this is sad. In a previous comment I said, "In America we have an odd relationship with the inevitable. Sometimes people get a terminal diagnosis, and sometimes they fight it. ..." [0] Fighting the inevitable is not a noble way to go. Sometimes people can forestall their passing for a few weeks, months or years, but the reaper com…
Why is your perspective more correct that the perspective of the person who doesn't want to die? I think we all know that people are of various natures and think in a myriad number of ways and refuse to accept that mostly so that society remains stable.
But I feel that assuming this perspective is better than the other one (about not wanting to die) in this respect (for this particular thing about wanting to live or die on one's deathbed) is just a way of rationalizing death rather than accepting that people just have different natures.
Re: Why is the deathbed perspective considered so valuable?
#83For a: - "I should have done X" (regret because X wasn't followed) there are probably as many: - "I should not have done X" (regret because X was followed and made things shit) Even the "should not have worked as hard" would be most likely balanced with others saying: "should not have been as slack or loose at work, and did something important, made some legacy" In the end, nothing really matters, and the perspective…
I am more and more getting irked by the "should not have worked so hard" crowd, or to be more precise, the ones that go "just quit and go backpacking". Great if you're young, wealthy and have a good social safety net (read: rich parents), not so much for the other 99% of the population. I tried it once, going out of my comfort zone to do the backpacking thing, but it just wasn't for me. I'm not very social, have trou…
I must respect your karma, but I'd wager you'd find something you're not expecting if you addressed the social anxiety, addiction, and chatty mind you allude to here (I understand you will probably object to these characterizations).
Some people take the state of their mind as a given and structure their life around that. Others learn that you can change your mind.
My experience is that the latter leads to profound riches. But then, I failed at the former.
Re: Why is the deathbed perspective considered so valuable?
#84Re: Why is the deathbed perspective considered so valuable?
#85Earlier quoted context omitted.
Until you realize that some achievements are needed to have good relationships.
You don't need to be a millionaire to make friends.
No, but if you are, you'll certainly have a lot more time for them.
Edit: If you want to. Being a millionaire gives you the chance to choose to spend time with friends instead of doing chores, because you can pay people to do chores.
Re: Why is the deathbed perspective considered so valuable?
#86For a: - "I should have done X" (regret because X wasn't followed) there are probably as many: - "I should not have done X" (regret because X was followed and made things shit) Even the "should not have worked as hard" would be most likely balanced with others saying: "should not have been as slack or loose at work, and did something important, made some legacy" In the end, nothing really matters, and the perspective…
The "I should not have worked as hard" deathbed quote has always bugged me. There are plenty of people who think they could have been more or done more. It's not a perfect example, but there are plenty of "Walter White"s who taught high-school science and think they were capable of so much more. I find it is happening among some women I know who chose to stay at home and now, as the kids are getting older, are thinki…
Arguably, being "authentic" in many ways covers this
Re: Why is the deathbed perspective considered so valuable?
#87Re: Why is the deathbed perspective considered so valuable?
#88Earlier quoted context omitted.
Some people lie like they breathe, it’s automatic, and doesn’t have any meaning. It’s not meant to be malicious.
Does the intent really matter?
It can.
If it’s meant to hurt. Then that’s a bad person.
Otherwise it’s a personality flaw that needs to be addressed. Like the “pull my finger uncle”
It’s very troublesome regardless.
Re: Why is the deathbed perspective considered so valuable?
#89I think it's important to remember that many of these "death bed" bits of wisdom are often the same or extremely similar to those found in deep psychedelic and religious experiences, meditation, so on.
As someone pointed out these are often also similar to the more "child like" thoughts that are not constrained by society and do very much so seem to be more of the things that actually do matter.
Re: Why is the deathbed perspective considered so valuable?
#90Earlier quoted context omitted.
It matters, in the same way intent matters when you cut somebody with a blade. Was it attempted murder? Self-defense? Carelessness? Accident? Surgery? Lies, similarly, are fundamentally destructive - a lie is a piece of invalid data that corrupts, to smaller or greater extent, the minds of everyone who come in contact with it. Incorporating a lie in your reasoning moves you further from accurately perceiving reality.…
I would hope lies to protect another person from harm are allowable. We suspect an enemy of the revolution is being harbored in hour house. Are you hiding this person? (forgive the preposterous example, but I hope you get my intent). It could be someone hiding from a jealous lover, someone hiding from loan sharks, etc.
Not being Murdered is one level.
Did you do the dishes is another.
Have kids. Did you eat chocolate bar? No!!!! So how did the chocolate get all over your face?