Live data from Hacker News

Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

news.ycombinator.com

121–130 of 147 posts

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#121
post #49

Here's what you need to do. 1 - Practice humility and drop the attitude. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. 2 - Come up with a plan to have a net worth of $0 in 18-36 months -- owe nobody anything. If that is impossible to conceive of, make sure that you are exploring all avenues -- including bankruptcy. 3 - Get off the couch. Establish social connections. Go to church. Volunteer somewhere. Join a book club. Work in a…

Of anything said here THIS is the advice to listen to. He speaks the truth.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#122
Re: elderly parents.

My elderly parents (my dad turned 80 this weekend!) moved to one of those semi-suburban retirement villages a few years ago and it changed their lives. They went from being depressed, lonely, TV-obsessed hermits to having a fantastic social life on par with college. The network of neighbors really helps in times of hardship as well, the community really looks out for each other. I feel pretty comfortable knowing that if something bad happened they'd be in good company.

If you want to live guilt-free I can't recommend it enough. If its out of their income bracket, a great goal would be working off your debt and saving up to help them move somewhere where you can feel comfortable spending some time apart..

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#123
post #32

"People here want their safe, comfortable, 9-5 jobs, and their must-see-TV at night. There is no ecosystem to help drive and create new things." Considering your situation, a stable 9-5 sounds like a better option for you than a new and risky venture.

Yes I actually agree with you. I should have provided better context: 9-5 meaning that people here are mostly content with what they have. They aren't out and about in the city looking to build new ventures, take risks on big, unproven ideas, etc.

Right now, is it more beneficial for you to be solving big problems or little problems?

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#124
Like many responders here, I have been through something similar, but not nearly so tough as what you are going through. I hope you can come through stronger and that this thread helps.

One thing you didn't mention is how much time you have to devote to healing yourself. In my case, the only time I had for myself was after everyone else went to bed. If you are still monitoring, give us an idea of how much time you have per day/week to spend on your needs.

The most dangerous part of your situation is the depression. It will drain the life out of you. I wasn't effective on my work project until I dealt with it. There are many good ideas here on how to climb back out; here are a few more.

* Get some professional help

I know finances are tight but a very close friend of mine saw a psychiatrist and it helped immensely. Make sure they are goal oriented in that they are working towards putting themselves out of a job, not setting up a continual revenue stream.

* Apply your skills towards non-profit activities

Work makes me feel better about myself and helping others is a wonderful feeling. Sites like: http://catchafire.org/ can help you find opportunities.

* Mentor at a local school

You have failed and probably think about it a lot; I know I do. (This is probably not the healthiest of activities...) But this means that you can also help others avoid the problems that you have faced.

On a different note, I think the many responses here have shown just how prevalent this kind of situation is and how wonderful it is to have a support structure. I feel better just seeing the support for you!

You might want to consider recording your journey, either for posterity or, if you feel comfortable publishing, to help others in similar situations.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#125
post #110

I'm going to be harsh. Please don't take it personally, my perspective is obviously limited. I'd think 1.5 years of unemployment, being broke and a failed start-up would make you more humble. Yet everyone else seems to be the problem. Your parents don't understand, fellow business owners don't understand, no one understands your fabulous planning, no one has your passion, ... Have you looked for work? Applied to jobs…

> Also, you should be nicer to your parents. Read point #3 again, and it almost sounds like you are describing yourself. Negative about everything? Not planning for the future? Refusing to accept change is needed? That's you!

This is something I think most of us have to face up to at some point, often with a bolt of shocked denial when the realization hits.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#126
Mattman are there any past colleagues or friends you can reach out to, to get some temporary work. It could be as simple as writing a user manual or reviewing code for a small amount of money. You would be surprised at how often people are willing to help you if you ask. Once you get into the rhythm of work, it will get somewhat easier to structure life. Wishing you all the best!

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#127
post #114
post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I just got back from McDonalds since $1 McChicken is all I can afford to eat. This is the taste of liberation. Mmm.

Learn how to cook. You only need some very basic, and very cheap, ingredients to make amazing food. By improving your diet, you will improve both your physical and mental health. You will also save money. For example, tomatoes, onions, beans, chilies, rice, and spices run about $5 total, and with that you can make a gigantic bucket of vegetarian chili packed with vitamins and complete proteins. Add meat for a better…

Also grow your own vegetables in the garden. It's not only cheap, it has also no pesticide pollution, tastes much better and is very healthy because it's fresh. But the most important thing is the psychological effect: You seed, you care, you work on it, you watch it growing and then you harvest and eat your own effort. That's like beeing an entrepreneur on a small scale. Build on this positive experience and grow to bigger tasks.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#128
post #86
post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes I actually agree with you. I should have provided better context: 9-5 meaning that people here are mostly content with what they have. They aren't out and about in the city looking to build new ventures, take risks on big, unproven ideas, etc.

They aren't out and about in the city looking to build new ventures, take risks on big, unproven ideas, etc. Is it really like that in SF? I've never lived there, only visited; and almost got mugged at a gas station. The description reads like a fairytale or wishful thinking. I hope I'm wrong, though, because that would be amazing.

If you go to entrepreneur events, it's definitely a reality. I've been part of the scene for about 1.5 years and there are countless meet up group/events for new tech. There are coworking spaces that litter a certain part of SF. In Palo alto, I often run into entrepreneurs I've met at other events. At certain cafes, they are loaded with people hacking.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#129
post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They aren't out and about in the city looking to build new ventures, take risks on big, unproven ideas, etc. Is it really like that in SF? I've never lived there, only visited; and almost got mugged at a gas station. The description reads like a fairytale or wishful thinking. I hope I'm wrong, though, because that would be amazing.

if you get into the start-up scene, it really is like that. A lot of those people are just talking shit, however. lots of hype, less execution.

Sometimes I get that sense but these days it seems everyone i meet sold everything back home (a bunch of them European) and moved to the bay area. Most of them took. A short trip first and decided that the scene was infinitely better.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#130
I've been in a similar situation. Twice. Although I live with the guilt of my career potential, I don't really regret the sacrifices I made to tend to my family over the last couple of years as some interesting opportunities have come up as a result of it that wouldn't have been available had I made my career a priority. Not to mention valuable life experience and a different perspective on life after going through all that crap. Yeah, this path may be a lot bumpier than others and full of potholes, but at least one will have the opportunity to admire/observe the landscape while traveling through it. Who knows, perhaps you'll come up with a new startup idea as a result of it...C'est la vie.
Post reply on HN