Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help. • Hacker News Board

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#61

Post by zackattack » Wed, Jun 08, 2011, 8:02 PM UTC

mattman wrote: post #33

zackattack wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is it possible that you actually can't really do those things if your startup failed? In other words, is it possible you're representing having skills that you don't actually have? (It reads to me as if you have a willingness to practice those skills, though they aren't well developed.) Maybe it's time to honestly evaluate where you're at and invest some time into personal growth and development. You will reduce cogn…

Really good point, how do I go about achieving this? I'd like to believe that I have the skills, insights, strength, and endurance for all these things, but yet, I have to accept the reality that so far it has gotten me nothing. I'm open to change/learning - if my family weren't an issue I'd go anywhere in the world to learn, reboot, start over, grow, etc.

Important edit: I recommend buying books if you can afford it. Many reasons for this. One, it's fun to receive packages in the mail. I get a rush every time I rip a package open. Two, it's good for the ego. It helps you keep perspective on how much you've been reading. Three, you can underline the books as you read them, this can be VERY helpful. Unfortunately I do not recommend loaning books to friends, you will never get them back.

Awesome! You can start by reading 1 book a week, which is an aggressive but doable goal. To some it may not sound like much but if you have not been making a habit of reading regularly, it will take you a while to get back into it. In a year you will have read 52 books. I am of the belief that compound interest is most effective when you have staggering sums of money. It is second most effective when it comes to knowledge.

Amazon will sell you books for cheap, but there are many business classics that will probably be available at the local library. I bet your local library will at least have one of these seven books:

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

{anything} by Seth Godin

Positioning by Al Ries

Getting Things Done by David Allen

21 Laws of Leadership by John Maxwell

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#62

Post by pknerd » Wed, Jun 08, 2011, 8:02 PM UTC

I feel sorry for you and wish a great success. Good people are those who help others not to get in trouble. Since you have learnt experience and gain some valuable things which others might not have. I would suggest you to either start a blog or a PODCAST series in which you sh are your experience. It might not be beneficial in terms of finance but atleast it would help you to divert your attention. When you do something for others,it would definitely help you as well. WHo knows what opportunity you get in future. SO think it over and start it ASAP

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#63

Post by Todd » Wed, Jun 08, 2011, 8:19 PM UTC

pavel_lishin wrote: post #42

mattman wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes I actually agree with you. I should have provided better context: 9-5 meaning that people here are mostly content with what they have. They aren't out and about in the city looking to build new ventures, take risks on big, unproven ideas, etc.

You do not need to be building a new venture, or taking risks, or trying out unproven ideas. You need to get a job and make money so you and your family don't starve to death. It sucks that you're in a place where nobody shares your motivation, but you still need to eat.

I don't think this is helpful. He can provide for his family with out a "9 to 5". He could contract remotely, for example. And he could work on side projects with an eye to the future, which would help keep his spirits up through this period.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#64

Post by impendia » Wed, Jun 08, 2011, 8:21 PM UTC

> People here are content with 9-5 jobs and staying home at night

I think you should not feel bad for being frustrated by this. It's a perfectly reasonable choice, but if you value a more active, diverse lifestyle, I think this is a value you should hold on to.

I've experienced that it's very hard to make friends in new places, and it's taken me a lot of time and patience, but I've managed it every place I've moved. Good luck on this!

To echo some of the other commenters, I think you might also ask yourself what responsibilities you really have to your family. I won't presume to guess the details of your situation, but I suspect that you may be able to scale back a lot - but not entirely - while still doing nearly as much good.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#65

Post by mgkimsal » Wed, Jun 08, 2011, 8:28 PM UTC

Loads of great insight from people. One thing I'd add is that you may be better off moving away and pursuing what makes you happy and fulfilled. Additionally, there's a much better chance you'll get back on your feet financially doing this (you don't say how much debt is 'massive', so it's hard to judge that).

Two things you can't do. You can't help someone who doesn't want your help. And you can't help someone from a position of weakness. It's much easier to help people financially from a position of financial strength and stability, and easier to help someone emotionally from a position of emotional strength. Whatever your intentions are, you can't be effective until you're squared away with yourself first.

Good luck.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#66

Post by horofox » Wed, Jun 08, 2011, 8:32 PM UTC

Send me a message at t at art-is-t.me with your contact info.

I'm not in the same position that you are, but let's take time and fix your problem somehow. I hope that we find a way.

Let's work on something stupid, do anything different.

You can trust me.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#67

Post by parfe » Wed, Jun 08, 2011, 8:32 PM UTC

hugh3 wrote: post #59

r0s wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sounds like those people would like more media, like movie rentals. Buy a redbox machine? Start a rental store?

Start a video rental store? In the age of Netflix?

I have a netflix account but I still use redbox from time to time. It's nice picking up groceries and a movie on a Friday night. The $1.50 is pocket change and means a movie night doesn't have to be scheduled a week ahead of time.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#68

Post by bugsy » Wed, Jun 08, 2011, 8:40 PM UTC

You have two separate and unrelated issues here.

1. Your last venture failed.

2. You have to take care of your elderly parents, apparently in an obscure small town hundreds of miles from any tech or cultural center.

The first issue, business failure, is normal and not a problem at all. Entrepreneurs deal with failure. Either get on the horse again, or switch to a corporate job with a steady paycheck. Either choice is a valid one.

The second issue, elderly caretaking, if you don't want to do this, given that it sounds like they object to you being there, don't do it then. Let the rest of the family deal with them.

If despite this you are still committed to staying with the parents, then the obvious solution is to either do remote design work, or to start your own company. You are not going to be taking care of the parents 24 hours a day, this leaves much free time to create a product while enjoying low living expenses. Congratulations, you're a start up with almost no overhead.

If you prefer to take the corporate job to resolve issue #1, and still want to take care of the parents, then they will have to move to the city where your new high paying corporate job will be. If they are going to be dependent on you to take care of them, then you get to make the calls.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#69

Post by wallawe » Wed, Jun 08, 2011, 8:41 PM UTC

godDLL wrote: post #54

mattman wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1) Re: 9-5 - Thanks for catching that. My frustration came through on that a bit. I changed the wording. 2) Re: skills - I do everything but program. And by everything I mean everything - funding, prod dev, marketing, sales, operations, strategy, etc. Great point about not doing something driven by guilt. Thanks for your feedback.

Move close in but not with your parents, get a job, and learn programming -- it's very empowering. I had one of my friends over that is doing just that. Six months back when he started he was quite bleak, but now he's close to $0, and on a roll. He seemed not tense for the first time since I've known him.

What is the best way to go about starting to learn programming if you do work a 9-5? I am finishing school and paying for a website to be designed right now but would love to learn more...

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#70

Post by sylvinus » Wed, Jun 08, 2011, 8:42 PM UTC

relocate close but not too close to your parents, and get a desk job where you actually have 50% free time to do whatever you want, start or contribute to some open-source software, rebuild your life for a few years then get back in the game, if you ever want to!