Why are fewer young adults having casual sex? • Hacker News Board

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#211

Post by kar5pt » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 6:36 PM UTC

dvfjsdhgfv wrote: post #108

throwaway8581 wrote: post #26

Many comments are ignoring the most important aspect. The decline is almost all among men not women: > Using a slightly different age range and time frame, Ueda et al. (2020) found that the percentage of sexually inactive men ages 18 to 24 increased from 18.9 percent in 2000–2002 to 30.9 percent in 2016–2018, and the percentage of sexually inactive young women increased from 15.1 percent to 19.1 percent over the same…

I hear this explanation often, but it ignores the fact that only a small fraction of population uses Tinder. I don't know the real reason, but if I was to guess, the most obvious one is that there are so many interesting things to do, learn, engage in, that making considerable effort in order to have sex simply doesn't seem worth it, that's all.

50% of Americans in their 20s and roughly a third of Americans in all age groups report having used dating apps. What do you mean "a small percentage of the population"?

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/02/06/10-facts-ab...

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#212

Post by seneca » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 6:39 PM UTC

the_only_law wrote: post #104

nerdponx wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Personal anecdote: when I was single in a big city, I stayed at home playing games on Saturday because I had no social group with single people in it and no place to hang out other than a bar. Bar culture always sucked (and still sucks) and I wasn't pretty enough for Tinder. The music scene I was involved with was fading out and I wasn't part of the core clique anyway. Would I have liked to go out and meet people to…

Yeah I’m still trying to figure out how people even met pre dating apps. It’s not uncommon for me to go somewhere and be the youngest person in the room by a decade, everyone else around me married, etc.

> Yeah I’m still trying to figure out how people even met pre dating apps.

We used to have civil-society. It facilitated a lot of these things. Read Robert Putnam's books and research if you're curious.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#213

Post by imbnwa » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 6:40 PM UTC

nickthemagicman wrote: post #209

viklove wrote: post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Lots of people have talked about these issues, but society's response has been to drive those people away and label them "misogynists" for observing what has happened in the sexual marketplace. A lot of the ideas you talk about are openly discussed in Red Pill/Incel communities, and you know how much everyone hates those groups. Red Pill is the group of men who understand hypergamy and actively try to elevate themsel…

Copernicus was labelled a heretic for saying the Earth revolved around the sun. But science proved him right. Science seems to make people uncomfortable because it lifts the delusion that humans are way further from animals than we actually are. Humans are formed in the image of GOD! And the universe revolves around us! Not only does science show that the solar system does not revolve around humans, but also shows th…

How much an ape species practices harems is inversely proportional to male testicle size. Gorillas have tiny testicles, Chimps and Bonobos the biggest, and humans in between.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#214

Post by lotsofpulp » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 6:42 PM UTC

the_only_law wrote: post #104

nerdponx wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Personal anecdote: when I was single in a big city, I stayed at home playing games on Saturday because I had no social group with single people in it and no place to hang out other than a bar. Bar culture always sucked (and still sucks) and I wasn't pretty enough for Tinder. The music scene I was involved with was fading out and I wasn't part of the core clique anyway. Would I have liked to go out and meet people to…

Yeah I’m still trying to figure out how people even met pre dating apps. It’s not uncommon for me to go somewhere and be the youngest person in the room by a decade, everyone else around me married, etc.

School, church, work, family, friends. Everyone in your network has their own network, and they can introduce you or you might meet someone at an event who is in their network.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#215

Post by imbnwa » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 6:46 PM UTC

ars wrote: post #15

Historically causal sex was rare, and it could be that the recent increase in this was an aberration, and people are just going back to the way it used to be done. This line: "On the other hand, sexual inactivity may hinder young adults’ psychosocial development and diminish their physical and emotional gratification (Julian 2018)." is just bizzare. People have done without casual sex for most of human history, I thi…

Wrong. Warfare for most of human history was an opportunity for rape, sexual slavery, and pillaging valuables. That's the entire reason one stranger would be willing to risk their life for someone they absolutely have no relationship to. The vast Roman legions ran on the prospect of these outcomes. Only in the last 200 years or so, scoping to continental Europe, has it even been considered that warfare become an occassion for principled conduct with respect to civilians and private property.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#216

Post by nickthemagicman » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 6:46 PM UTC

imbnwa wrote: post #213

nickthemagicman wrote: post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Copernicus was labelled a heretic for saying the Earth revolved around the sun. But science proved him right. Science seems to make people uncomfortable because it lifts the delusion that humans are way further from animals than we actually are. Humans are formed in the image of GOD! And the universe revolves around us! Not only does science show that the solar system does not revolve around humans, but also shows th…

How much an ape species practices harems is inversely proportional to male testicle size. Gorillas have tiny testicles, Chimps and Bonobos the biggest, and humans in between.

Gorillas and Chimps have harems. Is what you're saying accurate?

The harem strategy is the most successful reproductive strategy throughout all of the MAMMALS not just the apes.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#217

Post by imbnwa » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 6:54 PM UTC

nickthemagicman wrote: post #216

imbnwa wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How much an ape species practices harems is inversely proportional to male testicle size. Gorillas have tiny testicles, Chimps and Bonobos the biggest, and humans in between.

Gorillas and Chimps have harems. Is what you're saying accurate? The harem strategy is the most successful reproductive strategy throughout all of the MAMMALS not just the apes.

The strategy is dominant, but amongst apes, its just that, dominant. Gorilla paternity testing reveals this lack of exclusivity, but the theory is that male testicle size amongst ape species tracks how exclusive females are. Promiscuity is rampant, its a question to what degree.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#218

Post by devchix » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 6:57 PM UTC

viklove wrote: post #200

devchix wrote: post #195

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Heh. For this reason I avoid HN threads having to do with gender and sex. There's a florid streak of redpill-ism that converges on these threads. Last week someone used "carousel" unironically. In this thread, "hypergamy". My bingo card is waiting for "Chad". Run away, quick!

Yes, when you encounter ideas that make you uncomfortable it's important to shut your eyes, plug your ears, and run away!

Yes. Because every idea that makes me uncomfortable is worth my time exploring. /s Presumptive of you to think I haven't, though. Red pill ideology is garbage.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#219

Post by anthony_d » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 6:59 PM UTC

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #183

nickthemagicman wrote: post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's tons of dating apps besides Tinder.

Sure, but they're at least as awful because the whole concept is awful. I have never seen a counter example anyway.

Not all dating apps are equal.

I had Tinder installed for 3 days: it was really really awful, if that was the only option I would have happily given up dating. My view of Tinder is that it's the app for defective people who just want sex.

Bumble on the other hand seems fine. Relatively normal women and I met a great one that I've been dating for 9 months now. I'm sure I'm partially biased because it worked for me, but the difference really was incredible between Tinder and Bumble.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#220

Post by anthony_d » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 7:02 PM UTC

DC1350 wrote: post #151

Lammy wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sounds like we should eliminate the need for and concept of wealth, then, so people can congregate based on shared interest instead of having to factor in the possibility of monetary support from their partner(s).

If everyone was perfectly equal in every way except appearance, then it would just be the most attractive men forming harems instead of the most wealthy.

If everyone was equal how do you know it wouldn't be attractive women who formed harems?

Society is so incredibly complicated and interconnected, it's pretty much impossible to say what would happen by changing something.