Why are fewer young adults having casual sex? • Hacker News Board

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#191

Post by oceanghost » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 5:15 PM UTC

twobitshifter wrote: post #130

throwaway8581 wrote: post #26

Many comments are ignoring the most important aspect. The decline is almost all among men not women: > Using a slightly different age range and time frame, Ueda et al. (2020) found that the percentage of sexually inactive men ages 18 to 24 increased from 18.9 percent in 2000–2002 to 30.9 percent in 2016–2018, and the percentage of sexually inactive young women increased from 15.1 percent to 19.1 percent over the same…

There is an easier explanation- that the young women are having sex with men older than 24. With people getting married later in life the pool of unmarried men from 24-30 is much larger than in the past. My understanding is that younger women tend to prefer a slightly older guy and men tend to prefer a slightly younger woman. In the 18-24 age group, the 18-24 year old men are competing against themselves and older me…

I used to work near a college, this is a very real thing.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#192

Post by throwaway8581 » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 5:16 PM UTC

ceilingcorner wrote: post #106

throwaway8581 wrote: post #26

Many comments are ignoring the most important aspect. The decline is almost all among men not women: > Using a slightly different age range and time frame, Ueda et al. (2020) found that the percentage of sexually inactive men ages 18 to 24 increased from 18.9 percent in 2000–2002 to 30.9 percent in 2016–2018, and the percentage of sexually inactive young women increased from 15.1 percent to 19.1 percent over the same…

This was more or less the purpose of monogamy. If you observe many societies that don’t strongly enforce it, you see that wealthy men end up having tons of wives, while poor men have none. Same situation is happening in America, we just don’t call it polygamy because it has been reduced entirely to the physical act.

100%. And single young men with no prospect of a family life are not going to just accept their lot. The director of the FBI in the last few days listed “incels” as a group of “extremists” that they are concerned about. But society can’t subdue 30% of men through law enforcement. It has to give them a place in society. And as you point out, that is the function of monogamous marriage. We are in trouble.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#193

Post by Balgair » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 5:24 PM UTC

hirundo wrote: post #188

quacked wrote: post #46

Modern casual sexual encounters are assessed purely on subjective ratings of the opposite party's sexual attractiveness (secondary sexual characteristics, behavior, social status, etc.). Furthermore, constant saturation into the full range of these behaviors and characteristics across humanity through the internet and dating applications creates a endless "could I get a better mate?" feedback loop in the minds of bot…

I have a nephew who looks like Chris Hemsworth and when he travels to a new town, doesn't bother with a hotel. He just shows up at a singles bar and waits for an overnight invitation, and his usual problem is choosing among them. The price he pays for the bed is not burdensome to him. To him, I'm the strange one for bothering with the hotel. I don't think that the attractiveness 1% are much less oblivious of their pr…

To each their own, of course.

But, wow, that's putting oneself at a lot of risk.

Granted, when I was that young, risk wasn't a four-letter-word, so to speak.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#194

Post by ziml77 » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 5:25 PM UTC

zeryx wrote: post #94

My thought; not a scientist and this is all conjecture, but a potential other cause than what other folks are mentioning: Consent conversations and alcohol can be quite confusing and scary to navigate now. This seems to suggest to me, that people are just not putting themselves in situations where casual sex might be more possible (alcohol + parties, etc) due to the fear of it being labelled as rape.

This was my guess too. I have nothing to back it up, but there's definitely a fear for some people of being labelled a rapist. Unfortunately it's also a fear that gets dismissed because people say that "false rape" claims don't happen or that it's nothing compared to the real rape claims that get brushed off as false.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#195

Post by devchix » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 5:25 PM UTC

valbaca wrote: post #189

throwaway8581 wrote: post #26

Many comments are ignoring the most important aspect. The decline is almost all among men not women: > Using a slightly different age range and time frame, Ueda et al. (2020) found that the percentage of sexually inactive men ages 18 to 24 increased from 18.9 percent in 2000–2002 to 30.9 percent in 2016–2018, and the percentage of sexually inactive young women increased from 15.1 percent to 19.1 percent over the same…

I expected the redpill to be popular on HN but this is just absurd and disgusting. "The bottom of the male market has just fallen out completely." It's not a market. People aren't commodities. "you could be the only one available or could woo women through other qualities." Isn't this just the "last man on the earth" respun as "last guy at the bar?" Since when has there been a shortage of guys at bars?

Heh. For this reason I avoid HN threads having to do with gender and sex. There's a florid streak of redpill-ism that converges on these threads. Last week someone used "carousel" unironically. In this thread, "hypergamy". My bingo card is waiting for "Chad". Run away, quick!

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#196

Post by quacked » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 5:28 PM UTC

hirundo wrote: post #188

quacked wrote: post #46

Modern casual sexual encounters are assessed purely on subjective ratings of the opposite party's sexual attractiveness (secondary sexual characteristics, behavior, social status, etc.). Furthermore, constant saturation into the full range of these behaviors and characteristics across humanity through the internet and dating applications creates a endless "could I get a better mate?" feedback loop in the minds of bot…

I have a nephew who looks like Chris Hemsworth and when he travels to a new town, doesn't bother with a hotel. He just shows up at a singles bar and waits for an overnight invitation, and his usual problem is choosing among them. The price he pays for the bed is not burdensome to him. To him, I'm the strange one for bothering with the hotel. I don't think that the attractiveness 1% are much less oblivious of their pr…

In the extreme sports circles I run in we call them "hobosexuals".

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#197

Post by Dirlewanger » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 5:38 PM UTC

watwut wrote: post #164

quacked wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Everyone with a sex drive wants sex, but they want it from the right person. The heuristics surrounding the "right person" selection process have been destroyed. The women I know who have retreated from dating have almost unanimously expressed frustration with both the poor selection of available men (because their standards have been artificially inflated) and the constant push from the available men for the women t…

The article is about casual sex specifically. That has nothing to do with women who don't want casual sex in the first place, because they are willing to have sex only in committed relationship.

Well, that starts to get into the hairy territory of what women say they want vs. what they actually want. And due to inflated standards from dating applications (constant swiping due to thinking there's something better around the corner), I think you see what I'm getting at.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#198

Post by imbnwa » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 5:51 PM UTC

david38 wrote: post #149

Lammy wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sounds like we should eliminate the need for and concept of wealth, then, so people can congregate based on shared interest instead of having to factor in the possibility of monetary support from their partner(s).

You propose to eliminate the concept of status? Impossible. Even monkeys have it.

Yeah, chimps, bonobos (contrary to the popular conception), and humans all practice scapegoating, applying collective frustration/anxiety to a vulnerable member of the group).

In the case of bonobos, there's an Attenborough doc where he literally narrates a scene of a young Bonobo after being mobbed on though I understand it appears fallacious since I can't recall which.

But yeah, social hierarchy is endemic to, at the least, great apes like us, the difference just lies in how we deal with it. The most sexually successful Gorilla males appear to have figured out that you also have to show females that you're willing to give attention to kids even when they're not yours to demostrate real value as a mate, so our part of the animal family tree isn't without its improvements.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#199

Post by dvfjsdhgfv » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 6:00 PM UTC

MattGaiser wrote: post #129

dvfjsdhgfv wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I hear this explanation often, but it ignores the fact that only a small fraction of population uses Tinder. I don't know the real reason, but if I was to guess, the most obvious one is that there are so many interesting things to do, learn, engage in, that making considerable effort in order to have sex simply doesn't seem worth it, that's all.

So basically men quit sex because it is difficult to obtain for them and there are now other options but women continue to have sex because it is easy to obtain?

> women continue to have sex because it is easy to obtain?

It's not so much that it's easy to obtain but at least in Western cultures it's expected that the initiating side should be male, and females can either accept or refuse it. This creates a somewhat unbalanced economy.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#200

Post by viklove » Wed, Mar 03, 2021, 6:01 PM UTC

devchix wrote: post #195

valbaca wrote: post #189

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I expected the redpill to be popular on HN but this is just absurd and disgusting. "The bottom of the male market has just fallen out completely." It's not a market. People aren't commodities. "you could be the only one available or could woo women through other qualities." Isn't this just the "last man on the earth" respun as "last guy at the bar?" Since when has there been a shortage of guys at bars?

Heh. For this reason I avoid HN threads having to do with gender and sex. There's a florid streak of redpill-ism that converges on these threads. Last week someone used "carousel" unironically. In this thread, "hypergamy". My bingo card is waiting for "Chad". Run away, quick!

Yes, when you encounter ideas that make you uncomfortable it's important to shut your eyes, plug your ears, and run away!