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Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

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Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#131

Post by Lammy »

ceilingcorner wrote: post #106
throwaway8581 wrote: post #26

Many comments are ignoring the most important aspect. The decline is almost all among men not women: > Using a slightly different age range and time frame, Ueda et al. (2020) found that the percentage of sexually inactive men ages 18 to 24 increased from 18.9 percent in 2000–2002 to 30.9 percent in 2016–2018, and the percentage of sexually inactive young women increased from 15.1 percent to 19.1 percent over the same…

This was more or less the purpose of monogamy. If you observe many societies that don’t strongly enforce it, you see that wealthy men end up having tons of wives, while poor men have none. Same situation is happening in America, we just don’t call it polygamy because it has been reduced entirely to the physical act.

Sounds like we should eliminate the need for and concept of wealth, then, so people can congregate based on shared interest instead of having to factor in the possibility of monetary support from their partner(s).

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#132

Post by ceilingcorner »

whaaswijk wrote: post #118
ceilingcorner wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, not really. The modern western form of treating sex primarily as an entertainment activity is very much a new thing. Previously we had marriage and other cultural practices that aimed to channel these forces in productive directions. Now we just have PornHub and Tinder.

I’m not a historian but aren’t those tightly controlled cultural practices a relatively modern invention? Certainly the ancients were known to have orgies (presumably for fun). People have observed how the 20th century was for many people a return to their “true” nature (eg free love, drugs, rave parties). Maybe it’s just always been true that, when their wealth/resources allow for it, people like to have sex for fun…

The ancients had orgies as a part of religious mystery cults. Those weren’t widespread to the level that Tinder is today.

The birth control pill also enabled many of these attitudes, so it almost by definition wasn’t a return to their “true nature.”

But yes of course people like having sex. What’s new is that this pleasure-focused view of it has become the dominant one, to the exclusion of all others.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#133

Post by KMag »

nerdjon wrote: post #117
KMag wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You could just as easily get an STD from the first time you have sex after a date as you could with Casual Sex. Maybe, but people willing to have casual sex with you are probably also more willing than the median person to have casual sex with other people, which probably means they're likely to have above median number of lifetime sexual partners. Unless you're arguing that lifetime risk of getting an STD is uncor…

I think it is complicated. On the one hand there is the person that may have a lot of casual sex but they are also properly educated about sex, they get tested every couple months, they take precautions, etc. Maybe they are more used to having conversations with potential partners about STD's. On the flip side you may have the person that rarely has sex, never really has those conversations with their peers or doctor…

> So that is why I say that yes obviously more partners increases your chance of getting an STD, but you also can't just say that because someone does not have a lot of partners that you can't also risk getting something from them.

I think that's a straw man argument. My reading of the GGP doesn't include any claim that non-casual sex is risk-free, just an implicit suggestion that casual sex is riskier.

Though, the GGP isn't explicit about their claims, so I could very well be misreading them.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#134

Post by inetknght »

dominotw wrote: post #82
underseacables wrote: post #5

I think it is due to the misconception of an over abundance of choice. The apps trick us into believing that there is always someone better at the next swipe. So instead of having random hook ups, it could be that people are always waiting for the perfect, and thus having less casual sex.

> The apps trick us into believing that there is always someone better at the next swipe. How though. Wouldn't you learn pretty fast that it isn't the case.

> How though. Wouldn't you learn pretty fast that it isn't the case.

Many people don't learn.

Those that do learn would be dissuaded from trying alternatives for anticipation (fear?) of a repeat experience.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#135

Post by akamaka »

quacked wrote: post #119
akamaka wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If you do know men like this and you disagree with me, please elaborate. I think your hypothesis is mostly correct, except for the idea that the men who are having more sex are “tremendous specimens”. I don’t think they need to be especially attractive or powerful. It could be cultural or psychological differences that make some men put more energy into their pursuits. For example, compare Jimmy Carter to Bill Clin…

You just mentioned two of the most powerful and charismatic men in history. Can you elaborate on the comparison?

They’re both very similar in good looks and success, but one is known as a faithful husband, and the other is a prolific womanizer.

We could perhaps simplify the hypothesis to say that modern dating, enabled by apps, has made it easier for men who have a high desire to sleep with many women to do so.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#136

Post by oceanghost »

ceilingcorner wrote: post #106
throwaway8581 wrote: post #26

Many comments are ignoring the most important aspect. The decline is almost all among men not women: > Using a slightly different age range and time frame, Ueda et al. (2020) found that the percentage of sexually inactive men ages 18 to 24 increased from 18.9 percent in 2000–2002 to 30.9 percent in 2016–2018, and the percentage of sexually inactive young women increased from 15.1 percent to 19.1 percent over the same…

This was more or less the purpose of monogamy. If you observe many societies that don’t strongly enforce it, you see that wealthy men end up having tons of wives, while poor men have none. Same situation is happening in America, we just don’t call it polygamy because it has been reduced entirely to the physical act.

Anecdotally, I think you're on the money.

"Poly" folks are overrepresented on dating apps because they never shut their profiles down after meeting someone.

What's surprising to me is how much of it there is. I was on bumble/tinder and a couple of other sites when I was single, and it was so bad the first question I would ask was, "are you poly?"

I don't see any value prop in being poly for a man. Every time I've seen my friends attempt it, the woman is getting laid like crazy, and the man is struggling to find anyone. Imagine dating as a poly man-- what do you tell a woman you meet? "Well, there's no future for us because I have a wife and a girlfriend, but I'd still really like to get into your pants."

And then, there are issues of disease and pregnancy. You're trusting people you don't know to act responsibly as far as disease goes. And pregnancy is a nightmare-- I know a woman who has a husband and two boyfriends, and she turned up pregnant. It was a nightmare for everyone involved. Nobody knew who'd done the deed.

Sex is DANGEROUS.

I will get downvoted to hell for this, but, "poly" is just a modern version of Cuckoldry. If you're into that, that's your business. But all of the ephemera and justifications around it are just thinly veiled nonsense.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#137

Post by seneca »

taxicabjesus wrote: post #107

I had to have a 'birds and the bees' talk with a young female passenger one night. I titled that post "the difference between boys and girls": https://www.taxiwars.org/2016/02/the-difference-between-boys... This young woman was flexible about casual sex, and didn't understand why her latest boyfriend was troubled that it'd only been 2 weeks since her last boyfriend. I told my passenger how women fundamentally get to…

This post reads as an advertisement for a blog. While you may have something interesting to say, I find this difficult to engage with.

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#138

Post by Armisael16 »

hntrader wrote: post #86
Armisael16 wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When looking at any one variable they’re controlling for the others.

Living with your parents and facing economic difficulty are going to be correlated. If they're included together in a multivariable regression (which is often what people mean when they say "controlling for") then they're going to have multicollinearity and it's not possible to disambiguate the unique role of one versus the other. It's plausible that the former variable is "stealing" some of the statistical significa…

Is that a statistical blunder? If economic circumstances provide no additional explanatory power beyond coresidence...

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#139

Post by the_only_law »

underseacables wrote: post #5

I think it is due to the misconception of an over abundance of choice. The apps trick us into believing that there is always someone better at the next swipe. So instead of having random hook ups, it could be that people are always waiting for the perfect, and thus having less casual sex.

I'm not sure quite how to explain it, but I get a very uneasy feeling from dating apps. I feel like I'm constantly looking at the same person over and over again, The pics are the same, the bios are copy/paste, overused lines. It doesn't feel like people trying to date, but rather people trying advertise their lifestyle / social media presence. Some of them are worse than others and some seem to only attract a single type of personality. It almost all feels fake

Then go to read some r/tinder advice and it makes sense. The Advice tends to boil down to creating your profile formulaic, attempting to be different or add much personality docks you points.

On another note if someone could please let me know how all these people are constantly affording retreats to all sorts of countries, please let me know ;)

Re: Why are fewer young adults having casual sex?

#140

Post by mywittyname »

quacked wrote: post #119
akamaka wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If you do know men like this and you disagree with me, please elaborate. I think your hypothesis is mostly correct, except for the idea that the men who are having more sex are “tremendous specimens”. I don’t think they need to be especially attractive or powerful. It could be cultural or psychological differences that make some men put more energy into their pursuits. For example, compare Jimmy Carter to Bill Clin…

You just mentioned two of the most powerful and charismatic men in history. Can you elaborate on the comparison?

Carter is a very pious individual whose actions always seem to be consistent with that belief system.

Clinton is a well-know womanizer whose exploits were known long before his presidency.

They are both powerful, and influential. But one seemed to put a whole lot more effort into getting laid, to the point of destroying his career.

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