41–50 of 684 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Hitting is abuse only if it's frequent and the child becomes fearful of it, but this is not nearly as sexy as hijacking the word "abuse" self-righteously.
Isn’t the whole point of hitting your kids to make them fear it and therefore not do whatever it is that made it happen? (whether or not this works or wouldn’t be accomplished in a more humane way is a different story)
The only weird one to me is the western way "do not hit your kids." Downvotes welcome.
Hitting a child is abuse and it's not effective.
https://www.mygov.scot/smacking-children/
And yes, I am a parent.
Your kid doesn’t need their own room. In fact, neither do you. Everyone could live so much more carbon efficiently if we accepted communal living. Like dorm rooms. People all around the world rent small apartments with their extended families, and sometimes even other families. The only reason people in the west believe they need a single family home is because they’re entitled and have a weird focus on individualism…
As I reach the age where some of my friends are starting to have kids in a Western country, one thing I've noticed is that they all seem to have different ideas about raising kids, between diets, sleeping habits, baby bjorns, what language(s) to read to them in, how to get them to walk/talk, etc. I wouldn't call any of them weird (although I honestly don't have much of a baseline understanding), but I have a hard tim…
What your doctor / nationalised health care system is recommending sounds like a good approach
Potty training is also something that differs widely between developed nations and rest of world.
Western = Anglophone? I suspect cultural norms are quite different in Italy, Greece, Spain and other countries.
That said, I guess a lot of that could potentially be connected to outsized anglophone/US influence in developed countries.
I have an eighteen-month old child and have been reading a lot about child rearing since my wife got pregnant.
It’s taboo to say this, and I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but I suspect that a lack of adult attention in the first three years of life is a principal factor in the rising autism rates we’re seeing in modern economies. This would explain why autism seems to “cluster” in upper class homes, where the parents work nonstop.
It turns out this hypothesis was put forth by Kanner in the 50’s and is as old as autism itself, but it was rejected for political reasons and it is not refuted by the science.
I first heard this hypothesis from the lectures of Gabor Maté, and it makes a lot of sense to me. If you look at what autism treatment actually is, it’s all just play therapy where you give a child attention and teach them that if they bid for an adult’s attention they will respond empathetically. This treatment only makes sense if they didn’t already learn to do this as an infant.
We put the crib close to our bed, much easier for mom. Dad got ear plugs.
It's funny, human mothers have a unique trait through which they can identify the cries of their particular child, even at a playground where a lot of kids are making noise. Somehow, mothers are able to cut through all the din and identify the voice of their young child, at the exclusion of all others. Nature does so much to bring mothers closer to their young, yet fathers do not possess this "talent." In fact, we se…
Definitely something that my wife and I struggle with. She's Vietnamese British, I'm Vietnamese American ; both of us current living in the U.S. Despite what our training classes recommend, we're co-sleeping with our 17 month year old daughter and it feels more intuitive.
After 3 kids I don’t really care about the criticisms anymore. They stop co-sleeping when they’re ready, and it was as simple as that. I mostly enjoyed it. Sometimes you miss having a bed to yourself though, haha.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Hitting is abuse only if it's frequent and the child becomes fearful of it, but this is not nearly as sexy as hijacking the word "abuse" self-righteously.
Please don't have children if you think any violence against children is acceptable.
No matter what flowery language or loopy logic you use to avoid the subject, you are applying force.
Is it better to have well-thought out uses of force instead of just hitting the kid when they make you angry? Of course. But don't pretend that living in the world requires no discipline at all.