A group of my friends asked to set up a groupchat recently, our requirements varied. Among them:
- needs to be simple (not all of them are techies)
- need to be possible to run on desktop without any mobile need
- not Facebook (my requirement)
So I went and set an XMPP server up on the same machine I have my email and webserver, and wrote a quick guide on how to install blabber.im (a Conversations fork), and register on the server.
With a turnserver running in the background, it can do voice/video calls as well.
The room is not e2e encrypted yet - that is because I wasn't able to get the desktop person to install the omemo plugin for gajim, but that is the sole reason. We'll get there.
There is no history delivered on first connect - e2e encryption would prevent that anyway, similarly to Signal or Whatsapp.
PS: "Why not matrix?" Because at the moment, I despise the matrix clients, all the ones I tried, and the purple-matrix plugin for pidgin/adium/etc is long abandoned, and has no encryption support.
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EDIT
OK, for those who don't understand what I wrote: I spun my OWN XMPP server. You don't have to, you can use any XMPP/Jabber server, for example any here: https://list.jabber.at/
From a user perspective: get and app, register a user/password on the selected server, done. That is simple.
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EDIT2
> There is no history delivered on first connect
This is a choice. The tech/option exists: https://xmpp.org/extensions/xep-0313.html