I wonder what the average generation is of these people. I would expect most to be Baby Boomers, which would make sense for a lot of these regrets as their lives were shaped by a time when most had to start working in their early teens and to not show their emotions, at least for the men. It would be interesting to compare to a later generations dying regrets.
Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed
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Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed
#42isn't there a kind of statistical / informational bias here? you can simplify the trade-off between work and pleasure as one where you need to work enough, earlier in life, to survive for some some unpredictable amount, later in life. so when you're making the decision about how much to work, and how much to play, you have incomplete data - you don't know when you will die. but when you are dying, you do have that da…
Is she also missing out the regret of people who said, "I wish I had worked harder and made more of my life?"
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed
#43I sometimes wonder: Of those people who said they'd work less/be happier/live truer etc how would they feel if they really did get to redo their lives with that ethos? Would they regret different things? Would they wished they'd worked even less, or perhaps work more?
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed
#44"Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."
Take it from an old guy, pay attention to this. I've buried both inlaws and my father since late January this year. When you lose your health, you also lose the little things in life from a very real perspective. You can't hang with your friends any more. Your free time evaporates because of all of the doctor visits. You may need help getting there. Also, the idea of spontaneous activity becomes a memory, because you have to plan yours around medication and appointments. And, of course, that affects the plans of those who love you (although they will deny it).
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed
#45Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why can't they be opposed? All the regrets don't come from the same person. Also, there's no rule that says they have to make sense. Regrets that people have on their death-bed are not necessarily imbued with a supernatural clarity.
I'm glad you pointed this out. We all know how easy it is to come up with ambitious New Year resolutions and not stick to them, even though they made complete sense at the time. People on their death beds say stuff that belongs to the realm of New Year resolutions. It sounds easy to say that you wished you didn't work so hard, but when you get the opportunity to work a bit harder and get a nice cottage close to a lak…
The point is that there are wonderful parts of life other than cottages on lakes, and while you're working harder for those 10 years you are to some extent missing out on those parts of life, because there are only 24 hours in a day.
While you're focusing on that one month at the cottage, those people on their death beds are reflecting on the other 11.
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed
#46I'd like to say that I'm surprised by the lack of introspection and thoughtfulness that I'm reading in these comments, but instead I'm just disappointed. Perhaps most people here are just too busy living in the hubristic stage of their life to imagine that there's anything to be gained by occasionally listening to the wisdom of those who've gone before us.
I think you've nailed it.
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed
#47"Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it." Take it from an old guy, pay attention to this. I've buried both inlaws and my father since late January this year. When you lose your health, you also lose the little things in life from a very real perspective. You can't hang with your friends any more. Your free time evaporates because of all of the doctor visits. You may need help getting t…
And health can pretty much only be taken care of by working hard. I bet the people who could afford a palliative nurse at home sure as hell would regret it more if they couldn't afford her because they worked less.
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed
#48isn't there a kind of statistical / informational bias here? you can simplify the trade-off between work and pleasure as one where you need to work enough, earlier in life, to survive for some some unpredictable amount, later in life. so when you're making the decision about how much to work, and how much to play, you have incomplete data - you don't know when you will die. but when you are dying, you do have that da…
Also the pithy wisdom of people who can wish all they want without consequences. Say anything, especially if it sounds profound.
Perhaps the author figured out that most folks think of the same pseudo-profound things when they're dying. I'd kind of like to hear the list of unique thoughts.
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed
#491. Most of this advice contradicts itself.
2. The 6th regret should be 'I wish I didn't have to resort to stealing other people's content to get to the top of HN'
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed
#50I can tell you that it's not just those on their death bed who face these regrets, but the families surrounding them as well. My own experiences have taught me that my real moments of happiness come from enjoying my family time. Work provides some satisfaction: those little victories nailing a project, or scoring a big contract, but it only lasts until the next one. A job well done on a project hardly can compare the moments you capture with your spouse or your children.
I think from some of the comments, it could be that you just haven't reach the point in your life that this difference becomes apparent. I would have never guessed before having children that I could be so happy -- they are just entirely different emotions. I suspect a lot of folks under hospice care are old enough to recognize this difference, and regret spending their early years trying to earn their way to happiness, and missed their childrens youth.
I think our generations, especially with the work-from-home movements, will be different though. We get to both raise our children and work just as hard -- it's no longer a choice to be made.