I'm on a very similar position. I found my ADHD out just about a year ago. After failing in many areas and going through a divorce, I can see some light at the end of the tunnel now.
Here's what is working well for me:
- reducing the amount of decisions to make. The less, the better. Even my meals are now precooked and I just take them out of the freezer at lunch or dinner time
- 30 minutes of cardiopulmonary exercise
- Ritalin doesn't work really well for me. I don't know why, but muscle relaxers operate wonders. They make me feel a bit slow, but, after all, I think that is what I need. To slow down. It doesn't work 100% of the times, but when it does, the effect is really positive. It allows me to focus and think through things without other ideas popping in my mind.
- I used to feel all the guilt related to unfinished projects, and to punish myself really hard because of them before finally letting them go. My ex-wife was very detrimental on this aspect, making me feel real bad for my "lack of willpower" and stuff like that. Now I have a completely different attitude about unfinished projects. I just keep a file for every project, and register every idea when it pops up (during a walk, or when I'm having trouble getting asleep, for instance). The lack of sense of guilt by itself has been producing a very positive effect. I don't mind anymore if I don't finish even 1% of them. Life is more than that. And now I'm getting benefits from my "divergent" thinking, turning it into creativity. This last week I finished a challenging personal project thanks to an idea I had during some nights of insomnia I endured those days. And I'm feeling great.
- caffeine helps up to a certain point. I don't drink more than 400ml of coffee per day anymore. If I drink too much, I have some 30 minutes of high productivity and creativity and, then, my day gets ruined with lack of focus, anxiety, regrets for not having followed some great career paths when I had the chance, and so on.
- I still watch Netflix, but now during scheduled times. However, I try to be disciplined but not too hard on myself.
- Background white noise help a lot, especially working place noises now that I work from home. There are some nice ones on youtube. And, when I sleep, I always use a big and noisy fan (but I live on a warm region of my country).