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Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

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Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#231

I dont agree with this. Its good to be polite. Also if you throw your question into the chat without first verifying that they are seeing it and responding then you can end up asking the question, then they dont see it, then it hangs around for ages, then they see it hours later when it might not be relevant anymore and it causes confusion. Saying hello is fine, and polite, our social instincts are pretty good genera…

hi codeulike - you there? I'd like to reply to your post. Can you please confirm you are available?

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#232
post #33

>People who do this are generally trying to be polite by not jumping right into the request, like one would in person or on the phone - and that's great! Different people have different reasons but I notice that many people that do a naked "hi" / "hey" are trying to see if the receiver is present for an immediate reply. In other words, the sender deliberately wants a synchronous instead of asynchronous convo. They do…

It's not just a question of personal preference. I often find myself in situations where I can solve a problem in <1 min if I can ask someone a question. I also know I can solve it without their help, but it will take me many tens of minutes (as I reverse-engineer their code or something like that). In a situation like that it makes sense for me to inquire if they can answer my question now, but an asynchronous inquiry will probably be a waste of their time because by the time they get around to answering it I will have figured it out on my own already.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#233
The proper response to "hello" is just "hello". I was annoyed at first, but when I saw the phone of one of the kids that kept doing it, I saw his message app had 1283 unread messages. They basically can't keep up with each other, and "hello" is a way of inserting yourself in the queue. That's them calling. You not answering is you not picking up. So ya, ignore it too if you want.

Communication guidelines are necessary and enforcable at a workplace, but this is also no big deal. Being annoyed by it is a problem, and really is your problem until you make it a problem for the person doing it. And it becomes a power issue. So without the guideline and without it being enforced, they may judge you for judging them or be offended by you thinking you can change their behavior.

With that said, communication is a skill that does seem to be lacking. A lot of so called "teams" will have information going around in circles in a game of telephone. Then there are those who can't seem to grasp what is important, and keep deflecting to sentiment or respect issues.

Bill Maher jokes about how millineals are emotional hemophiliacs, but regardless of the characterization the problem is real. You'll offend them and they'll cancel you without telling you. You become someone they talk about behind your back. And you'll cancel them for that. But cancelling each other out doesn't work if they're a client or a coworker that isn't going away. If they work for you I guess you can fire them, and if you work for them, I suppose you can quit. The only other option is to learn their language.

Ergo, communication remains a skill.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#234
post #210

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If it's urgent then you should probably take a few seconds to explain why.

Probably, yes, but not always. It depends on the matter.

If you didn't, then I'll be forced to assume it's not important. At least you clearly didn't care enough to put in a tiny amount of effort.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#235
post #33

>People who do this are generally trying to be polite by not jumping right into the request, like one would in person or on the phone - and that's great! Different people have different reasons but I notice that many people that do a naked "hi" / "hey" are trying to see if the receiver is present for an immediate reply. In other words, the sender deliberately wants a synchronous instead of asynchronous convo. They do…

That motivation is logical, but I think it's more considerate to type out just a few words so the recipient has some idea what's up. For example, "hi, i have a question about web config files" or "hi, i need help with a SQL query" or "hi, we may have a production issue" or "hi, i want to propose a change to how we do builds". This allows the recipient to prioritize. Just because they are present doesn't mean that now…

I'm not sure whether we agree or not, but I disagree with your examples. It's not enough to categorize your need, you should at the very least summarize your needs. Including an urgency and a reason why you need the person's feedback or help would not go amiss.

> "hi, we may have a production issue"

Do we or don't we? How urgent is it? Do you need help with the issue or do you need help determining whether there is an issue?

I have no idea, so I have to drop what I'm doing to find out because you said the magic word 'production'.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#236
post #232
post #33

>People who do this are generally trying to be polite by not jumping right into the request, like one would in person or on the phone - and that's great! Different people have different reasons but I notice that many people that do a naked "hi" / "hey" are trying to see if the receiver is present for an immediate reply. In other words, the sender deliberately wants a synchronous instead of asynchronous convo. They do…

It's not just a question of personal preference. I often find myself in situations where I can solve a problem in <1 min if I can ask someone a question. I also know I can solve it without their help, but it will take me many tens of minutes (as I reverse-engineer their code or something like that). In a situation like that it makes sense for me to inquire if they can answer my question now, but an asynchronous inqui…

Then include that in your initial message.

Awful: "Hey"

Bad: "Hey, are you around?"

Tolerable: "I have a question about foo"

Good: "How does foo audit log requests?"

Great: "How does foo audit log requests? If you don't know offhand, no problem - I'll keep looking at baz"

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#237
post #33

>People who do this are generally trying to be polite by not jumping right into the request, like one would in person or on the phone - and that's great! Different people have different reasons but I notice that many people that do a naked "hi" / "hey" are trying to see if the receiver is present for an immediate reply. In other words, the sender deliberately wants a synchronous instead of asynchronous convo. They do…

I do that. And my main reason is not to have a synched conversation, but first to see it the recipient is responsive before I ask the question, usually, a tough question that the recipient might want to dodge or procrastinate. So if I ask everything at the same time, he might never answer, dodge it and say "sorry I didn't see your message". Basically, I use hello as a trap.

Don't be surprised if your colleagues start to very frequently say "sorry I didn't see your hello", six or seven hours or even multiple days late.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#238
post #33

>People who do this are generally trying to be polite by not jumping right into the request, like one would in person or on the phone - and that's great! Different people have different reasons but I notice that many people that do a naked "hi" / "hey" are trying to see if the receiver is present for an immediate reply. In other words, the sender deliberately wants a synchronous instead of asynchronous convo. They do…

When I used to work at Intel, the whole company AFAIK had a standardized way to check if someone is available for a synchronous chat: "IM?" or "May I IM?"

Everybody used it when synchronous chat was necessary. I thought it was great standardization over just simply "Hi".

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#239

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Oh I have one friend like this. He's lurking there and typing occasionally "Hi" when he feels I might be there. I know that if I answer immediately, I'll lose half an hour of my life. So after seeing the message I deliberately wait a few hours, and then answer "hi" and immediately log out. I consider it rude to demand someone's attention for an extended period of time without asking for it first. At the beginning of…

> I consider it rude to demand someone's attention for an extended period of time without asking for it first. “Hi, busy atm.” You’ve built this whole strategy, and are judging your friend as rude, to avoid this phrase. Be explicit or accept people as they are.

First, I would have to reply “Hi, busy atm” each time. Second, it's not true, I simply prefer asynchronous communication whether I have time or not.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#240
post #204

These kinds of things are personal preference. Top reasons I do want people to say hello to me first over IM: * Other people looking at my screen. Common when working out designs, in person or remote * I'm presenting my screen publicly and might have forgotten to turn off notifications * I might be busy and want you to email me instead so that I'll get to your request on my own time * I don't want you to think that I…

Right, so you want other people to work around your forgetfulness? Your private messages are intended to be private. If you're knowingly displaying them during a presentation, that is very rude of you.
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