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Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

nohello.net

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Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#191
post #33

>People who do this are generally trying to be polite by not jumping right into the request, like one would in person or on the phone - and that's great! Different people have different reasons but I notice that many people that do a naked "hi" / "hey" are trying to see if the receiver is present for an immediate reply. In other words, the sender deliberately wants a synchronous instead of asynchronous convo. They do…

This is a common theme in my workplace. Especially with everyone working remote and odd hours these days. We use both email and Slack, but most conversations tend to be asynchronous regardless and I frequently wonder why we even have an instant messenger. That said, I find that even if a message is asynchronous, it is much easier to track conversation flow via slack than email. Reply chains and indentations get messy…

If people do this to me I don’t make any rush to answer. If they want to drag out the conversation it is on them. All my replies are async because I have ADHD and will likely be distracted by something else before you write your follow up question. I can’t sit and stare at a chat window waiting for dialogue, it just won’t happen.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Slack sets you to "Away/Offline" after 10 minutes of inactivity by default, and by "relatively quickly" I mean, within an hour or two. If you can't close Slack or update your status to let people know you are unavailable for long periods of time, what is the point of being on Slack? Or a team for that matter? Barring an emergency, I'm not going to call someone directly because they're too busy working to (team)work.…

> If you can't play nicely on a team then maybe a different job is for you? This is a bullshit copout. It's a cultural issue if people cannot be respectful of their co-workers time. It is very common that if something is important to use important modes of communication such as phone calls. My team for example is very asynchronous because that is our culture. Our team is located all over the country and some people i…

No, the bullshit copout is showing that you are available when you are not, to give the illusion that you are working I have nothing but respect for my coworkers personal time. I couldn't care less, personally, if you need to take hours, days, weeks, or even months off of work for whatever reason. Do what you need to do. However, if you are on Slack and suggesting to people you are available when you are not, that is bullshit to me. It's not difficult to close the app or update your status to put in an ounce of teamwork so people know how to work around your actual availability.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#193
post #93

I don't mind that 'hello' or 'hi mackatsol' .. as I know more is coming. What drives me crazy is people who say "can I ask you a question?" I really try hard not to say "you just did". None of those compare to those folks who do not understand that to help them we need details. How do I infer what a problem is without any details? I used to ask all sorts of questions so as to be able to help them. Now I tend to post…

I feel this in my bones, and have been trying to get engineering managers to work with their teams on creating better tickets because in a company of nearly a two hundred developers including a massive overseas contingent, but a painfully understaffed ops and infrastructure team of 3: “My build doesn’t work, please prioritize” Does not help me help you. I wish I were making it up that this is the level of detail with…

We had this problem of poorly phrased tickets, and we added a rule to our ticketing software to immediately respond with a list of questions they need to answer to prove they did due diligence before we would start answering. It worked, we got less tickets, and the ones that answered the questions we could resolve faster.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#195
post #114

I think it's amusing that both the "don't do" and "do this" examples are exactly the same length and time investment for both parties. I agree with the author, but it does mildly undermine the point.

No. For the sender, yeah, time and effort is the same (or even less, as it saves hitting carriage return/newline once), which makes it more infuriating.

Because for the recipient there is an extra latency of several seconds after the useless "hi" message during which he cannot sensibly continue with his current task (switching cost), but cannot quickly resolve the interrupt either, because it is unclear what the issue is.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#196
Them: Hi! Me: (thinks) Aww, how nice! I am thinking about you too, random coworker!

Later when I see the coworker in person...

Me: I got your "Hi!". So Hi! back! Them: I had a question. Why didn't you respond? Me: I wanted to say "Hi!" in person! I guess your question got lost, I never saw it.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#197
post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Wanting a synchronous conversation is a pretty arrogant grab of someone else's time. This is an assumption, and not always a valid one. There are plenty of circumstances where synchronous comms are warranted, such as when matters are urgent for all parties or when the respondent has a reputation for losing track of async comms. Editing to add: I agree that "hey" and "hi" etc. are terrible openings. However, opening…

Absolutely, but it's still polite to schedule the synchronous call via async. "hey, need to talk urgently about x, are you available at 2?" or "...can you call me ASAP?" There's very few situations that warrant getting someone else to unexpectedly drop whatever they're doing and pay attention to you, right now. On the other hand, I'd actually go further and say there's lots of situations where sync communications is…

> Absolutely, but it's still polite to schedule the synchronous call via async.

Maybe this is a failing on my part, but I'm having a hard time understanding how these:

> × "Hello, are you around?"

> × "hi sophie - quick question."

> × "You got a sec?"

(specifically the first and last of these) aren't a form of urgent scheduling. At the very least, the last one is unambiguously asking if there's immediate availability, which generally implies urgency of some form.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#198

I don't mind that 'hello' or 'hi mackatsol' .. as I know more is coming. What drives me crazy is people who say "can I ask you a question?" I really try hard not to say "you just did". None of those compare to those folks who do not understand that to help them we need details. How do I infer what a problem is without any details? I used to ask all sorts of questions so as to be able to help them. Now I tend to post…

That drives me bananas too. I had some minor luck by positively calling out people who did provide great details. I’d send a message out to a wider group copying the original request, pointing out what was so good and saying how much time they’d saved us. Also how much effective cost was saved. I’d include a supervisor if possible.

I tried to be really nice about it and was floored by how surprised some people were that those base level details made any difference at all.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#199
post #169

I don't think this advice is useful because a lot of the time the reason people are doing this is the reason people don't like it. When someone states their request outright the recipient may be "conditionally there" based on the content of the request: They'll reply if they find the question interesting/relevant and worth interrupting what they're doing and put it off otherwise. The asker, however, would prefer thei…

I'm aware of this motivation, and it's the reason that I deliberately delay responding to "hey" messages. If I don't know what you want, then I also don't know whether I have time to think about it right now. It's a bit of an arms race.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#200
post #33

>People who do this are generally trying to be polite by not jumping right into the request, like one would in person or on the phone - and that's great! Different people have different reasons but I notice that many people that do a naked "hi" / "hey" are trying to see if the receiver is present for an immediate reply. In other words, the sender deliberately wants a synchronous instead of asynchronous convo. They do…

The thing is, as mean as this may sound, sometimes whether I'm available for a synchronous conversation entirely depends on what's being asked.

Is a customer pissed off, or something crashing? Of course I'm available. If it's "what do you think about this feature a minor customer asked for", I'm more than happy to answer it, but I'm not going to drop whatever I'm doing to answer it right now.

When you just say "hello" and wait for a response, it prevents me from taking the seriousness of the request into consideration.

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