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Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

nohello.net

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Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#181

Post by bsmithers »

BrandoElFollito wrote: post #71
11235813213455 wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's fine to say Hello, as long as it's immediately followed by something consistent, preferably in the same message

No, the point is to say "hello" and nothing else. And wait for the other person to reply, I then assume it is safe to chat. This is obviously for more sensitive/professional settings but directly saying "we have had a 100M loss because of that M&A", even on a safe IM, is irresponsible because this is likely to pop up on their screen.

I don't get this at all. What happens if they reply to you - maybe hours later - when you are the one presenting?

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#182

Post by upofadown »

treeman79 wrote: post #168
kempbellt wrote: post #134

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a common theme in my workplace. Especially with everyone working remote and odd hours these days. We use both email and Slack, but most conversations tend to be asynchronous regardless and I frequently wonder why we even have an instant messenger. That said, I find that even if a message is asynchronous, it is much easier to track conversation flow via slack than email. Reply chains and indentations get messy…

A new one for me is that work email is filled with security audit emails. Slack so far is not. I’ll open up my email, see if any subject lines are important, I’ll then go directly to service and get info there. I basically never open actual work emails ever. So tired of gotcha security

Stuff like that should be dumped to a dedicated folder. Maybe with an autodelete for messages older than a week.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#183

Post by dakial1 »

jasode wrote: post #33

>People who do this are generally trying to be polite by not jumping right into the request, like one would in person or on the phone - and that's great! Different people have different reasons but I notice that many people that do a naked "hi" / "hey" are trying to see if the receiver is present for an immediate reply. In other words, the sender deliberately wants a synchronous instead of asynchronous convo. They do…

I do that. And my main reason is not to have a synched conversation, but first to see it the recipient is responsive before I ask the question, usually, a tough question that the recipient might want to dodge or procrastinate. So if I ask everything at the same time, he might never answer, dodge it and say "sorry I didn't see your message". Basically, I use hello as a trap.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#184

Post by jMyles »

I have to say: I find this reasoning (which of course is not new - it's been a guideline on many IRC channels for over a decade, maybe longer) and also many of the responses here to be quite inhumane.

I provide plenty of support - internal and world-facing, and I have no problem with people starting with 'hello', and I often do so myself. And then I say, "hello, how are you?"

...because our first priority as humans is to care about each other. If you are having a mental health breakdown, living in fear or heartache, if your basic, fundamental human needs aren't met, then I want to know that first. It doesn't matter who you are or why I'm in a position to be a support channel for you, my first priority is to hear from you if you need help. Fuck man, that's what support is. If you are only willing to support a product and not a person, you aren't ready for a support role.

99.9% of the time, people get straight to the point. But in the 1/1000 time that somebody says, "actually, I'm struggling a bit; my Mom got detained by ICE this morning" it is everyone's job to support that need first. Merging the PR can wait a few minutes so that this person can be safely heard. And that's what 'hello' and 'hello, how are you?' establish.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#185

Post by nelsondev »

nullc wrote: post #169

I don't think this advice is useful because a lot of the time the reason people are doing this is the reason people don't like it. When someone states their request outright the recipient may be "conditionally there" based on the content of the request: They'll reply if they find the question interesting/relevant and worth interrupting what they're doing and put it off otherwise. The asker, however, would prefer thei…

There may be some who are doing this deliberately based on the reasons you mentioned; but for me personally, and my guess is for others, I did it out of ignorance of the frustration it gave the other person. Once I had awareness, I could change my behavior. So the article is useful.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#187

Post by FabHK »

toxik wrote: post #89
raspyberr wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But the first thing the article says to do instead is say "Hi" or "as many pleasantries as you see fit". Did you read it?

I did, yes. Did you read my comment?

All the article advocates is this:

"Hi Peter. Did you get the memo requiring new cover sheets for the TPS report?"

rather than

"Hi"

"Peter"

"We have sort of a problem here."

"Yeah"

"You know, we put the new cover sheets on all the TPS reports now before they go out"

"Yeah"

"Did you get the memo?"

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#188

Post by fukmbas »

jasode wrote: post #33

>People who do this are generally trying to be polite by not jumping right into the request, like one would in person or on the phone - and that's great! Different people have different reasons but I notice that many people that do a naked "hi" / "hey" are trying to see if the receiver is present for an immediate reply. In other words, the sender deliberately wants a synchronous instead of asynchronous convo. They do…

This is why I answer Teams chats on my own accord, notifications are disabled. I'm not paid to sit in chat rooms and answer questions. Submit a ticket or send an email. I determine what is a priority

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#189

Post by nullc »

nullc wrote: post #169

I don't think this advice is useful because a lot of the time the reason people are doing this is the reason people don't like it. When someone states their request outright the recipient may be "conditionally there" based on the content of the request: They'll reply if they find the question interesting/relevant and worth interrupting what they're doing and put it off otherwise. The asker, however, would prefer thei…

Aside, the best work around I've found is replying to prompts is with something like "I'm kinda here, in and out-- just leave a message and I'll get to it when I make my way back around to the chat window." You're around, but you're not committing to reply on any particular time-frame.

They'll often keep doing it, but at least you don't have to feel pressured to accept a synchronous conversation sight-unseen.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#190

Post by midev »

napkin wrote: post #167

I totally relate. But my even greater peeve is the unaccompanied personal question 'how are you?', especially after a period of little to no communication. It's in these moments I feel forced to analyze the give-and-take balance with contacts. I don't like being called to attention without at least a small offering. I try very hard to reflect this when reaching out to people myself.

You are way overanalyzing it. This is some internalized thing, not a problem on anyone else.

You don't need to analyze the "give-and-take balance with contacts" just because someone said hi, or asked how you are.

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