Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

nohello.net

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

81–90 of 362 posts

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#81

Post by jmull »

I think the right way to deal with the frustration of this is to find a way to let of your frustration. Why? Because carping about it here and making web sites for this is going to change nothing.

There are reasons people start chats like this, and those reasons aren’t going to go away, so this is going to keep happening whether it annoys you or not.

* They want to have a live chat with you and are trying to see if you are available for this. “Hi” -> “Are you currently available for a conversation?”

* A message that jumps right to the point can be considered rude or disrespectful, especially if the sender is going to ask you for something, and double if they are going to ask you for something difficult or outside your routine responsibilities. Culture, personalities of both parties, and the dynamic of the relationship between them all play a role here. Sometimes a person starting a chat feels they need to move slowly.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#83

Post by epr »

I used to have a big customer that started every text conversation this way and it drove me nuts.

Me: [question about requirement]

Him: Hey buddy, how are you doing?

Me: Oh, great man, you? (Thinking: less great now that you are turning this into a big thing)

Him: Great, [talks about non work-related shit]

(10 minutes and several texts later)

Him: [one sentence response to my original question]

I really liked this guy, but god damn he loved to chat. He spent about half of my onsite time talking on the phone with his mother or wife. I always wondered how he got anything done, since he clearly did this when I wasn't there as well according to his coworkers.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#84

Post by raspyberr »

toxik wrote: post #67

Kind of dystopian to forego pleasantries in the name of productivity, to be honest. There is a point to be made here, sure, but there is also something sad about it.

But the first thing the article says to do instead is say "Hi" or "as many pleasantries as you see fit". Did you read it?

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#85

Post by codeulike »

I dont agree with this. Its good to be polite. Also if you throw your question into the chat without first verifying that they are seeing it and responding then you can end up asking the question, then they dont see it, then it hangs around for ages, then they see it hours later when it might not be relevant anymore and it causes confusion.

Saying hello is fine, and polite, our social instincts are pretty good generally, dont worry about the 'lost productivity'. There are ephemeral benefits - the feeling of connection as you wait for them to type their question in real time.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#86

Post by wruza »

jasode wrote: post #33

>People who do this are generally trying to be polite by not jumping right into the request, like one would in person or on the phone - and that's great! Different people have different reasons but I notice that many people that do a naked "hi" / "hey" are trying to see if the receiver is present for an immediate reply. In other words, the sender deliberately wants a synchronous instead of asynchronous convo. They do…

They should learn to cut the crap and summarize, a good skill.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#87

Post by GekkePrutser »

jasode wrote: post #33

>People who do this are generally trying to be polite by not jumping right into the request, like one would in person or on the phone - and that's great! Different people have different reasons but I notice that many people that do a naked "hi" / "hey" are trying to see if the receiver is present for an immediate reply. In other words, the sender deliberately wants a synchronous instead of asynchronous convo. They do…

Yeah one thing that annoys me even more is "cold-calling".. E.g. ringing me on teams without asking if I'm there first.

One of the good things about remote working is that I can finally concentrate on stuff without constant interruptions.

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#88

Post by delecti »

This problem was driving me insane in the early days of WFH last year. I'm the most senior engineer on the team, so am often reached out to for information, and I had to start enforcing some protocols for getting my attention. I've sent this exact link to multiple members of my team in response to a "Hi", because getting distracted by the message and then having to wait for the actual question was causing me significant stress. It's worked, and I strongly recommend it. It was probably a bit impolite to do, but I had to enforce boundaries for my own sake.

Incidentally, I think doing so has also helped a ton with people asking if they could call me. If they first have to state their question via text, it lets me triage whether this is an issue that needs a call or not. That was a much more significant benefit, because a voice chat is an even bigger breaker of flow than waiting for the question after a "hi".

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#89

Post by toxik »

raspyberr wrote: post #84
toxik wrote: post #67

Kind of dystopian to forego pleasantries in the name of productivity, to be honest. There is a point to be made here, sure, but there is also something sad about it.

But the first thing the article says to do instead is say "Hi" or "as many pleasantries as you see fit". Did you read it?

I did, yes. Did you read my comment?

Re: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013)

#90

Post by jtr1 »

I get a lot of these and try to assume that it's the person wanting to be polite. Starting a conversation without a greeting is very rude in a lot of cultures. But yes, it's annoying in chat form, and especially when the conversation is left dangling. Depending on the situation, I'll write out what I'd like to say, then copy it before starting off with a "hello". If the person starts typing, I'm ready to follow up with the request. If not, I'll prepend it with: "when you have a minute", or whatever makes sense given the urgency of the request. And I'll generally only start with the "hello" if it's the first time we've interacted that day.

We've also experimented a little bit on my team with prepending asynchronous messages with emojis: a turtle means you can take your time, an alarm means it's urgent, a custom thumbs up/thumbs down emoji means you just need a yes or no answer.

Post reply on HN