Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#381

Post by lostlogin » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 7:30 AM UTC

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed". The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong". The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

Slightly over analysed thread at: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2wf5ge/a_mechanical_...

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#382

Post by anonymou2 » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 7:31 AM UTC

A computer programmer is found dead in the shower. Next to him there is a bottle of shampoo, with the instructions: Apply, rinse, repeat.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#383

Post by skellystudios » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 7:31 AM UTC

valzam wrote: post #185

fsflover wrote: post #4

There are only two hard problems in distributed systems: 2. Exactly-once delivery 1. Guaranteed order of messages 2. Exactly-once delivery

Reminds me of There are only 2 hard things about programming: - Cache invalidation - Naming things - Off-by-one errors

Cache invalidation isn’t hard, but it used to be and now we can’t get people to think otherwise.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#384

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 7:31 AM UTC

avmich wrote: post #156

A programmer walks into a bar and ask for a drink. The bartender says I'll give you a drink if you tell me a programmer joke. And he says: a programmer walks into a bar and ask for a drink. The bartender says I'll give you a drink if you tell me a programmer joke. And he says: a programmer walks into a bar and ask for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#385

Post by _threads » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 7:32 AM UTC

My favorite one : how many devs does it take to change a bulb ?

They can’t, it’s an hardware issue

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#386

Post by sbierwagen » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 7:32 AM UTC

Why do programmers always confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#387

Post by kaladin_1 » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 7:38 AM UTC

#LordOfTheRings To enter the Doors of Durin: "Say mellon and enter"

#Vim To enter external commands: "Say :! and enter"

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#388

Post by erik_seaberg » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 7:38 AM UTC

_kst_ wrote: post #375

A mathematician, a physicist, an engineer, and a computer scientists are all asked to test the hypothesis that all odd numbers greater than 2 are prime. (Apologies in advance to engineers.) The mathematician: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is composite. The hypothesis is false. The physicist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is composite, hmm, 11 is prime, 13 is prime, 15 is composite, 17 is prime, 19 is…

I heard a version that went

Mathematician: “3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, therefore by induction we know all odd numbers are prime.”

Physicist: “3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 must be experimental error.”

Computer scientist: “3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime …”

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#389

Post by yetihehe » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 7:40 AM UTC

zhoujianfu wrote: post #125

A physicist, chemist, and programmer were going to lunch together. When they got in the car though, it wouldn’t start. “Maybe it’s out of gas?” said the Chemist. “Maybe it’s a problem with the engine?” said the Physicist. “Maybe if we all just get out of the car and get back in.”

I had a car with wonky turbo, where if you tried to push it too hard, turbine was disabled and you were left with very low power engine (but engine still worked). Briefly turning off ignition and turning it back on would restart turbine back to normal.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#390

Post by uncledave » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 7:40 AM UTC

drno123 wrote: post #337

ssss11 wrote: post #289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m a project manager and find it hilarious! But i’ve also been technical.

So you are not "project manager", but "competent project manager", which is something completely different :)

I’ve never met one of them in the wild. A rare thing indeed.