331–340 of 905 posts
A programmer walks into a bar and ask for a drink. The bartender says I'll give you a drink if you tell me a programmer joke. And he says: a programmer walks into a bar and ask for a drink. The bartender says I'll give you a drink if you tell me a programmer joke. And he says: a programmer walks into a bar and ask for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink.
A physicist, chemist, and programmer were going to lunch together. When they got in the car though, it wouldn’t start. “Maybe it’s out of gas?” said the Chemist. “Maybe it’s a problem with the engine?” said the Physicist. “Maybe if we all just get out of the car and get back in.”
The salesman wants to call for a tow truck, the engineer wants to try to fix the brakes, but the programmer says: “No, first we should drive back up and confirm that we can reproduce the issue.”
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Hey, it's not cool to steal jokes from /r/antiantijokes. I am a mod there (as evident from my username), and don't appreciate this. The joke is hilarious though.
> Hey, it's not cool to steal jokes from /r/antiantijokes. When is it okay to repeat a joke from the internet and when is it not?
Al Gore may not have invented the internet, but he did come up with algorithms.
Underappreciated; was a new one for me.
For instance in a remote river with lumberjacks dancing on logjams without falling in the water, that's a type of logarithm at work.
When Al Gore does it, that's an algorithm.
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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar, where a beer costs 3$. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second mathematician orders two beers. The third mathematician orders three beers. "Oh, I see where this is going" says the bartender and pays a quarter to the first mathematician. "This should cover your check, then."
Can you explain?
> It is a period of system war. User programs, striking from a hidden directory, have won their first victory against the evil Administrative Empire. During the battle, User spies managed to steal secret source code to the Empire's ultimate program: the Are-Em Star, a privileged root program with enough power to destroy an entire file structure. Pursued by the Empire's sinister audit trail, Princess _LPA0: races aboard her shell script, custodian of the stolen listings that could save her people, and restore freedom and games to the network...
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I sent this to a project manager once, and they didnt understand nor appreciate it.
I’m a project manager and find it hilarious! But i’ve also been technical.
Knock knock Who’s there? long pause Java
GARBAGE COLLECTION!
When do we want it?
...
...
NOW!
https://www.smart-jokes.org/how-it-projects-really-work.html
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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar, where a beer costs 3$. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second mathematician orders two beers. The third mathematician orders three beers. "Oh, I see where this is going" says the bartender and pays a quarter to the first mathematician. "This should cover your check, then."
Is this an antijoke or did I just need to know where it's going, like the bartender? Maybe the bartender is confused?