Q: Why does the sun always rise east in the morning and set west in the evening? A: Just leave it alone and don't mess with it.
OMG hahahahahah thanks for this one
Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
321–330 of 905 posts
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#322Someone else got downvoted to oblivion for this, though it deserves to be higher because it’s a classic: “I know a UDP joke, but I’m not sure you’ll get it”.
Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.
Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?
Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.
OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke.
OK, I'll hear a TCP joke.
Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?
Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.
OK, I'm about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline.
OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and will end with a punchline.
I'm sorry, your connection has timed out... ...Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#323To err is human but to create utter chaos you will need a computer.
(That said I really want to say something about JS, but I doubt everyone here will appreciate it ;-)
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#324Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#325Not exactly programming per-se, but cute: A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a software engineer from Microsoft are in a car together, driving to a conference. They start down a hill when the brakes give out and they crash into a tree at the bottom of the hill. Luckily no one is seriously injured, and they set out to figure out what happened. The mechanical engineer examines the car and says "I believ…
I once worked on making a progress bar for a process that had a known number of tasks. Unfortunately not all tasks would take the same amount of time, and it was impossible to know the relative amount of time each task would take beforehand. I did the logical thing, and had the progress bar advance 1/nth every time a task completed, with an animation to make it less jarring. A few weeks later, the product manager cam…
I made zeno's progress bar; it always keeps moving, but never quite finishes until you send it a :done: event, at which point it wastes half a second animating the remainder of the progress bar. Never had a single complaint, and no one noticed that it had nothing to do with what was going on under the hood.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#326Earlier quoted context omitted.
Makes more sense with a mathematician than a programmer.
The programmer looks online for documentation on how to use the water, finds it too complicated, dumps the water out the window, then dumps the contents of the wastebasket out after it. Seeing the fire gone the programmer later goes on to give a conference talk about the importance of a good throwing arm in fire safety.
I chuckled at the original, but yours really got me. I feel seen.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#327An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. "I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies. "Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2. "What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous." "Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along". "There are v…
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar, where a beer costs 3$. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second mathematician orders two beers. The third mathematician orders three beers. "Oh, I see where this is going" says the bartender and pays a quarter to the first mathematician. "This should cover your check, then."
Can you explain?
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#328An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. "I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies. "Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2. "What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous." "Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along". "There are v…
Hey, it's not cool to steal jokes from /r/antiantijokes. I am a mod there (as evident from my username), and don't appreciate this. The joke is hilarious though.
> Hey, it's not cool to steal jokes from /r/antiantijokes.
When is it okay to repeat a joke from the internet and when is it not?
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#329“ Hardware eventually fails. Software eventually works”
Michael Hartung
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#330An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. "I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies. "Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2. "What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous." "Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along". "There are v…
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar, where a beer costs 3$. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second mathematician orders two beers. The third mathematician orders three beers. "Oh, I see where this is going" says the bartender and pays a quarter to the first mathematician. "This should cover your check, then."
Is this an antijoke or did I just need to know where it's going, like the bartender?
Maybe the bartender is confused?