Why was there no popcorn at the next-gen OS conference? Because nobody implemented the kernel!
Groan!
Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
211–220 of 905 posts
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#212Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#213Three logisticians just finished dinner, and the waitress comes up and asks "do y'all want dessert?" The first logistician says "I don't know." The second also says "I don't know." The last says "yes, we would."
Nice this is my favourite so far!
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#214Someone else got downvoted to oblivion for this, though it deserves to be higher because it’s a classic: “I know a UDP joke, but I’m not sure you’ll get it”.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#215A programmer, an engineer, and a physicist are in adjacent hotel rooms. Each has a pitcher of water beside the bed. A fire starts in the wastepaper basket in each room.
The physicist wakes up, sees the fire, estimates exactly how much water is needed to put it out, and pours exactly that amount from the pitcher, dousing the flames.
The engineer wakes up, sees the fire, pours the entire pitcher of water on it, then refills the pitcher and douses it again to be safe.
The programmer wakes up, sees the fire, sees the pitcher of water, decides it's a solvable problem, and goes back to sleep.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#216A programmer had a problem. He thought to himself: "I know, I'll solve this with threads!" has Now problems. two he
Best one.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#217Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#218A doctor, an architect and a programmer talk about their professions. "Mine is the oldest", says the doctor, "as everybody knows God created Eve from the rib of Adam, and that's definitely a medical operation". "Right", says the architect, "but in fact architect is even older - it's definitely an architectural project to create the world from chaos". At this point programmer kicks back in the chair and gives friends a mysterious look. "Who, do you think, created the chaos?"
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#219The two hardest problems a programmer faces: 1) what to name your variables 2) cache invalidation errors 3) off-by-one errors
> 1) what to name your variables
The canonical version of this is "naming things". It's more general than just variable names as anyone who has dealt with a thingAbstractFactoryFactory or the problem of generating unique names in a distributed environment will attest.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#220C programmer is bartending. Someone says "get me a double whiskey, plus a root beer"
Drinks arrive, customer asks: "hey why is there ice cream in this?"
"I had to make it to a root beer float when you added it to the double"