Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#181

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 4:40 AM UTC

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#182

Post by pjm331 » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 4:41 AM UTC

krapp wrote: post #118

I don't have the joke, only the lame punch-line: "Compiler? I don't even know her!" Badum bum.

Part of a long proud lineage of terrible jokes. When asked for a tissue my dad would always say: “tissue? I barely know you!”

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#183

Post by taspeotis » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 4:42 AM UTC

Knock knock

Who’s there?

long pause

Java

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#184

Post by _f9cu » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 4:43 AM UTC

Why programmer gets a raise? Because he likes arrays.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#185

Post by valzam » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 4:43 AM UTC

fsflover wrote: post #4

There are only two hard problems in distributed systems: 2. Exactly-once delivery 1. Guaranteed order of messages 2. Exactly-once delivery

Reminds me of

There are only 2 hard things about programming:

- Cache invalidation

- Naming things

- Off-by-one errors

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#186

Post by zxcvbn4038 » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 4:43 AM UTC

How many IBM employees does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifteen. Five to do it, and ten to write document number GC7500439-001, Multitasking Incadescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank".

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#187

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 4:43 AM UTC

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#188

Post by mleonhard » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 4:44 AM UTC

paxswill wrote: post #100

An SQL query walks up to a table and asks, “Can I join you?”

A NoSQL database runs into some friends at a restaurant. "Why don't you join us?" "I would love to, but I can't join tables."

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#189

Post by andrewchambers » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 4:44 AM UTC

I don't understand why people find DNS so difficult, it’s just cache invalidation and naming things.

source: https://twitter.com/jdub/status/739110670562557952?s=20

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#190

Post by SAI_Peregrinus » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 4:44 AM UTC

akeck wrote: post #127

breck wrote: post #80

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those that understand binary, those that don't, and those who weren't expecting a ternary joke.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world:

Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who understand that "10" can represent any number if you change the base.

(Changing joke this to work amusingly for irrational bases like the golden ratio base[1] is something I haven't yet figured out.)

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_ratio_base