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Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

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Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#143

Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke? Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke. OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke. OK, I'll hear a TCP joke. Are you ready to hear a TCP joke? Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke. OK, I'm about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline. OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters…

I would say UTP joke but i am not sure if anyone catch it.

You've got a twisted sense of humor.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#146
One of my all time favorites. Can’t remember where I first read it (Quora?), but it’s currently my top Google hit for “balloon programmer project manager joke”. [0]

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A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts:

"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend. I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says, "Yes, you are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees North latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West longitude."

"You must be a programmer," says the balloonist.

"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below says, "You must be a project manager"

"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."

[0] https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/2rn8qx/i_h...

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#149
It's often said that software engineers have no code of ethics. This is untrue. For example, no respectable software engineer would ever consent to writing a function called DestroyBaghdad().

Professional ethics would compel them to instead write a function DestroyCity, to which "Baghdad" could be passed as a parameter.

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Nathaniel_Borenstein

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