Sometimes I've wondered if this keeps down ambition -- the only workplace I've been in where this is common, people seem to have a pretty low bar for success. I wonder if part of that is that folks think that they've achieved a lot when they get so much praise, even when they are not achieving a whole lot.
Toxic positivity does more harm than good
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Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good
#82'Emotional Dishonesty'.
In a positive direction it's at least more palatable than otherwise, but it's still bad.
Orgs. that focus on emotional support and politics more than outcomes will feature this prominently.
Oddly - it may not matter. Sometimes pushing the cogs of ABC corp forward is mundane, and everything else that happens is just fluff talk, like the sign on the bathroom door, it doesn't change how many widgest were bought and sold, or like the language on the 'stop sign' in Canada: French or English it doesn't matter, it's just something irrelevant argue about instead of having an actual war about it.
Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good
#83I've felt a lot of "false" positivity espoused by project managers, especially those in charge of agile ceremonies. Examples: "I'm really {proud,impressed} of all of you for your output this sprint", "You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it", "You all should be very proud of what you guys did", etc. These aren't given after periods of crunch time, they're literally every week to the point where it feels so contrive…
"You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it"
I say this to my team a lot, even though they're operating as "expected" levels for my company.
The reality is there are a lot of teams and a lot of companies that simply do not expect much from their teams. We do. I want to remind the team that they are doing good work.
When people have confidence they're doing a good job, they're more likely to continue to do a good job.
Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good
#84Needful H1B's are always positive.
And I'm positive they're destroying our IT infrastructure, one project at a time.
They do the minimum to make it appear it works so they get it off their desk. Just like their home country. What a fucking mess.
Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good
#85The author sadly throws Seligman under the bus by comparing him to the quack author of "The Secret". Seligman's work is more than just "Pessimism should be avoided", and he didn't say avoid negative feelings, but that there are 2 ways of seeing setbacks; the pessimist usually thinks it's permanent ("it will be bad forever"), pervasive ("everything is fucked") and personal ("it's because of me"). Meanwhile the optimist would see a problem as temporary, specific ("We just need to fix this thing") and not due to the self, but more to do with circumstances (e.g. "I didn't sleep well so I didn't perform that well").
So it's not about how to avoid acknowledging problems, it's about how you shape your mind to see and deal with problems...
Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good
#86Something that I realized is, negative thoughts and emotions are normal and part of life. It's the counterproductive or hurtful behaviors we may engage in, as a reaction to the negative thoughts or emotions, that we can try to avoid.
Feeling bad about having negative thoughts or emotions and being afraid to express them, only makes it more likely we'll engage in counterproductive coping behaviors.
Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good
#87I've felt a lot of "false" positivity espoused by project managers, especially those in charge of agile ceremonies. Examples: "I'm really {proud,impressed} of all of you for your output this sprint", "You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it", "You all should be very proud of what you guys did", etc. These aren't given after periods of crunch time, they're literally every week to the point where it feels so contrive…
"You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it" I say this to my team a lot, even though they're operating as "expected" levels for my company. The reality is there are a lot of teams and a lot of companies that simply do not expect much from their teams. We do. I want to remind the team that they are doing good work. When people have confidence they're doing a good job, they're more likely to continue to do a good job.
You might want to internalize the parent comment, because it's entirely possible that some of your team members are not taking it that way. I'm on the receiving end of such feedback often. I know that it's coming from a genuine place. But that doesn't stop it from being irritating!
Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good
#88I've felt a lot of "false" positivity espoused by project managers, especially those in charge of agile ceremonies. Examples: "I'm really {proud,impressed} of all of you for your output this sprint", "You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it", "You all should be very proud of what you guys did", etc. These aren't given after periods of crunch time, they're literally every week to the point where it feels so contrive…
I was one one of those people doing this. Not because I liked it. I hated it. It felt false. But because I somehow thought it was expected of me. All other leaders of the company would do the same. Cheer for their team, applaud them publicly, always, constantly. I felt I had to participate in that kind of political game because otherwise the team, the people I cared about would feel bad about themselves. I guess what…
Well depending on the type of org you're in, it could be dangerous not to. When everyone else is doing it, if you aren't, it just makes the other managers think, "Wow, that manager isn't praising their people. They must really suck. Remind me never to work with that team."
Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good
#89I've felt a lot of "false" positivity espoused by project managers, especially those in charge of agile ceremonies. Examples: "I'm really {proud,impressed} of all of you for your output this sprint", "You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it", "You all should be very proud of what you guys did", etc. These aren't given after periods of crunch time, they're literally every week to the point where it feels so contrive…
"You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it" I say this to my team a lot, even though they're operating as "expected" levels for my company. The reality is there are a lot of teams and a lot of companies that simply do not expect much from their teams. We do. I want to remind the team that they are doing good work. When people have confidence they're doing a good job, they're more likely to continue to do a good job.
There's a class of people though, myself included, that do not like external validation. I thrive on internal validation on my perceived work product strength. I feel like I'm a better judge of whether my work is good or bad than a non-technical project manager.
It's different when it comes from a technical peer or a technical manager. There it definitely means more.
Closer to my point though, it was the continued repetition of the positive reinforcement. I'm talking a weekly occurrence where the situation did not call for the reinforcement. It felt fake and, to me, had the opposite effect as intended.
Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good
#90I think Toxic Positivity is a bit of a misnomer, I'd probably call it "False Positivity". It's not some subset of real positivity that is toxic, it's just... not actual positivity. It's an act.
No, there is toxic positivity, but I don't think this article is talking about it. I'll give you an example.
"Don't worry, it'll get better."
People genuinely believe that and for many things, it's true. For someone with a chronic and severe mental illness with no known cure? We're sick of hearing it.
There is no better for me. I'll never be completely free of suicidal thoughts or medication side-effects. I will never be free from degree of pain and suffering many people don't understand.
Does that make me unhappy? Frequently but I'm used to hurting all the time and I try to make the best of it.
For more: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-509395...