Toxic positivity does more harm than good • Hacker News Board

It's hard when you work with really nice people. I was looking at rolling out a new app to my company and everyone was really positive on it during our testing. It was only after pressing people on whether they ran into any issues that I finally started getting some real feedback and complaints that were dealbreakers.

It gives me a bit of anxiety and imposter syndrome when everything is going too well. It's easy to fall into the line of thinking that "I can't be doing a perfect job, so maybe they're keeping up appearances while scouting a replacement?"

Critical feedback doesn't have to be cruel to be effective. No feedback or everything being roses can be nearly as bad as angry feedback.

Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good

#45

Post by jancsika » Sat, Jan 16, 2021, 6:43 PM UTC

> That’s where self-doubt and reflection are elbowed aside in favor of a gung-ho, can-do spirit.

Honestly, the times I can recall doing this, nothing bad happened as a result.

Then again, I didn't follow it up by snorting cocaine or compulsively posting on Instagram.

I'm going to rankly speculate it those kinds of follow-up behaviors that turn a natural part of life into a glaringly obvious self-destructive plot the likes of Wonder Woman 1980.

Edit: clarification

Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good

#46

Post by praptak » Sat, Jan 16, 2021, 6:43 PM UTC

halfmatthalfcat wrote: post #8

I've felt a lot of "false" positivity espoused by project managers, especially those in charge of agile ceremonies. Examples: "I'm really {proud,impressed} of all of you for your output this sprint", "You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it", "You all should be very proud of what you guys did", etc. These aren't given after periods of crunch time, they're literally every week to the point where it feels so contrive…

Presenting the neutral as great is merely cringy and annoying. It's much worse when failures are presented with the mandatory positive spin. Especially the failures of the management when the employees get to bear the costs.

Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good

#47

Post by nathias » Sat, Jan 16, 2021, 6:45 PM UTC

halfmatthalfcat wrote: post #8

I've felt a lot of "false" positivity espoused by project managers, especially those in charge of agile ceremonies. Examples: "I'm really {proud,impressed} of all of you for your output this sprint", "You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it", "You all should be very proud of what you guys did", etc. These aren't given after periods of crunch time, they're literally every week to the point where it feels so contrive…

Its a type of condescention, maybe some people fail to recognize it (thats probably the reason why its used in the first place).

Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good

#48

Post by quercusa » Sat, Jan 16, 2021, 6:47 PM UTC

halfmatthalfcat wrote: post #8

I've felt a lot of "false" positivity espoused by project managers, especially those in charge of agile ceremonies. Examples: "I'm really {proud,impressed} of all of you for your output this sprint", "You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it", "You all should be very proud of what you guys did", etc. These aren't given after periods of crunch time, they're literally every week to the point where it feels so contrive…

I started DuoLingo recently (for Latin) and the over-the-top cheerleading there is driving me nuts.

Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good

#49

Post by dr_dshiv » Sat, Jan 16, 2021, 6:47 PM UTC

fastball wrote: post #2

I think Toxic Positivity is a bit of a misnomer, I'd probably call it "False Positivity". It's not some subset of real positivity that is toxic, it's just... not actual positivity. It's an act.

I 100% agree with this.

Re: Toxic positivity does more harm than good

#50

Post by baxtr » Sat, Jan 16, 2021, 6:47 PM UTC

halfmatthalfcat wrote: post #8

I've felt a lot of "false" positivity espoused by project managers, especially those in charge of agile ceremonies. Examples: "I'm really {proud,impressed} of all of you for your output this sprint", "You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it", "You all should be very proud of what you guys did", etc. These aren't given after periods of crunch time, they're literally every week to the point where it feels so contrive…

I was one one of those people doing this. Not because I liked it. I hated it. It felt false. But because I somehow thought it was expected of me. All other leaders of the company would do the same. Cheer for their team, applaud them publicly, always, constantly. I felt I had to participate in that kind of political game because otherwise the team, the people I cared about would feel bad about themselves. I guess what I’m trying to say is that this depends also a lot on company culture.