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The unsettling truth about the ‘Mostly Harmless’ hiker

wired.com

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Re: The unsettling truth about the ‘Mostly Harmless’ hiker

#141

Post by johncessna »

From the article

> It reminded everyone that it is still possible to disappear.

Actually, it did the opposite

> No, she said. “I don't think I was committed to Vance as a human. I detached myself as a person to Vance, in that I didn't want to get too attached to a dead stranger. But I was committed to solving the case with others because it would be a great way to prove that people can do great things together.”

This sums up what I thought about the whole thing. The unsettling truth is that a man went off grid and strangers, looking for nothing more than a selfish desire to know, put him right back on it.

Re: The unsettling truth about the ‘Mostly Harmless’ hiker

#142

Post by renewiltord »

ryandrake wrote: post #120
deeeeplearning wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>The other unsettling truth is that HN can read this story and come away asking what people could possibly object to in his life story, and why one should believe the spouses (plural) that describe his dark side What's unsettling about thinking that hit pieces on a dead man with quotes from supposed "ex girlfriends" is obnoxious?

Yea that’s the first thing I thought. If I wanted to write an honest and fair assessment on someone, I probably would take the stories from ex-girlfriends (or anyone else with a potential ax to grind) with a grain of salt. A lot of us wouldn’t want our biographies to be written by ex’s. Unfortunately the author really didn’t have many more people to interview as the guy was a bit of a loner.

Sure, but how many of us have exes that would say we beat them? I would be very surprised if even the more acrimonious breakups of mine claimed that I hit them. Pretty sure most of us have never laid a hand in anger on our partners.

Re: The unsettling truth about the ‘Mostly Harmless’ hiker

#143

Post by kayodelycaon »

tartoran wrote: post #88
kayodelycaon wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That’s what I call it. I’ve been hiding being bipolar since I was nine years old. I had a significant personality change after a psychotic break and most people don’t think I’ve changed. I know I have.

How do you know you've changed and it's not just the perception of how you see yourself post the event? Did you change your thinking patterns as well? If you're uncomfortable to share that's more than okay and very understandable.

Love to. I’m a card-carrying member of the Over-sharers Club

The way I think and care about people has changed. I no longer care what people think about me. At the same time, I have a depth of compassion and empathy I couldn’t have had before.

I have no obligation to anyone. This lets me choose to care about someone without getting unnecessarily attracted. As a result, I can share my love and support freely without worrying about people taking advantage of me. I have no guilt showing people the door.

As a result of this, my motivations have changed. To use a metaphor, I see myself as a light in a dark world. My goal is to make everyone’s day a little better. I’m not some kind of savior, though I have saved lives. I’m just a “good person” trying to do “good things”.

My interests have changed in odd ways. I’d never have written erotica but sex is far more interesting to me now. This isn’t a result of me being repressed. I’ve always been asexual and been hypersexual since I was nine. But now I’m deeply exploring sexuality in my writing.

The last one is both odd and the most fundamental to my being. Just take it at face value.

I had a deep, spiritual connection with wolves from six years old until my break. That connection was a core part of me and without it, I wouldn’t have known who I was.

That connection is gone and I really don’t care about it. As far as I’m concerned, it was delusional thinking.

I no longer have the spirituality that was such a part of me. There is only the rational world now. (Side note: My faith in God had always been rational, not emotional or spiritual.)

If I had to guess, I think sexuality took the place of spiritually in my brain.

It’s quite possible I haven’t changed as much as I think, but the world inside my head is so vastly different, I can’t understand the person I was before.

Re: The unsettling truth about the ‘Mostly Harmless’ hiker

#144

Post by renewiltord »

mlang23 wrote: post #49
ajkjk wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What's absurd about it?

I would imagine that someone inclined to live in the bushes by themselves would be interested in/wanting to build their shelter themselves, or at least use something that has natural origin. At least that is how I imagine it. What did you achieve if you leave civilisation behind only to use something a shelter which wouldnt exist without civilisation?

It's clear he was seeking solitude more than he was seeking nature. It just so happens the two go together frequently. It does not particularly appear any 'achievement' was intended.

Re: The unsettling truth about the ‘Mostly Harmless’ hiker

#145

Post by iJohnDoe »

IfOnlyYouKnew wrote: post #26
blakesterz wrote: post #4

Somehow I read this and I'm not sure what the actual Unsettling Truth was, but it still was interesting, I learned a few new things, and I've been following this one pretty close. The more I read about this the more I'm reminded of Chris McCandless. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_McCandless

The unsettling truth is that he was deeply troubled, and, at times, an abusive asshole who didn’t necessarily warrant quite as much compassion from strangers as he was given. I’m open to the idea that it may not really matter, and everyone deserves the dignity to not be buried anonymously. But there were a lot of resources invested in this case because he looked very relatable in photos. He was very different from wh…

@IfOnlyYouKnew Very level headed and great comment. It’s amazing how much victim blaming HN does on almost any topic.

Separately, IMO, previous girlfriends or friends, etc. won’t go out of their way to spit on someone’s grave. I think the exception is when someone finally feels safe to speak out that they were abused or if the person was a true POS.

Not sure why the default logic in this case is to automatically assume the exes are bad mouthing the deceased just because they can. Sure, it happens, but in this case there were two separate first-hand accounts and from the girl’s parents.

Re: The unsettling truth about the ‘Mostly Harmless’ hiker

#146

Post by rel-throwaway »

tppiotrowski wrote: post #37

The article talks about his ability to be friendly to strangers but abusive to his long term acquaintances. I have observed this pattern and curious if anyone knows what drives this? My personal theory is that you have some sort of obligations to long term acquaintances but you owe nothing to strangers on the trail. It's this feeling of obligation that leads you to resent people over time.

I struggle with this in my personal life. To most friends and acquaintances I can be friendly, personable, interesting, and engaging when we meet. But at home, with close family, and especially with my wife I struggle to be that person. My default state is that I mostly want to be left alone. All the people closest to me seem to want something -- time, attention, help, emotional support etc. none of which I seem to need from anybody else and leads to annoyance and resentment on my part. It doesn't help that I have a particularly stressful job managing a large team with silly interpersonal issues and politics that I have to deal with.

My wife and I have our good moments, are good parents (I think), but day to day is such a struggle. It is constant cycle of me wanting to be left alone and her wanting something or the other from me and getting annoyed that I show reluctance to do it leading to resentment on both sides. Not sure how to fix it or where to turn to for help. I am not an angry person and I don't physically yell or hurt her but she has said that me being reluctant with most things is a form of emotional abuse, which after reading this concerns me and is cause for introspection.

Re: The unsettling truth about the ‘Mostly Harmless’ hiker

#147

Post by renewiltord »

stuckindider wrote: post #134
deeeeplearning wrote: post #102

This stuff is disturbing. These articles read like hit pieces. The guy can't even defend himself and you have all these wild claims from supposed ex-girlfriends. It's just bizarre. Let the guy lie in peace.

It's honestly disgusting how people have made it into a game of trying to figure out who he was. Cutting him open for bone fragments. He died alone in the woods. Was there any reason to think it was caused by malace? No. Then fuck off and let him be.

Sure, you have a high sanctity moral foundation. Many others do not. To me, a dead man with no family ties is just a sequence of tissue arranged in a certain way. I will deal with it as I deal with bark or fungus. There is no person left.

Re: The unsettling truth about the ‘Mostly Harmless’ hiker

#148

Post by 11235813213455 »

ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #50

Sounds like he was HFA (High-Functioning Autistic), with some extra Trauma Sauce. It can be quite difficult for folks like this (Disclaimer: IR1) to find happiness. Crowds, high-stimulus environments, external expectations can be quite chafing. It can also be tempting to latch onto external things and people, to try to heal something that can't really be healed; but only mitigated (long story, but I went through that…

Yes, that's what I hoped the conclusion would be more about.

I'm quite similar to this guy, some of us find a way to adapt to their environment, their differences, accepting the fact they can't "fix" that real-world environment, but.. that's a harmful experience, mostly for yourself

Re: The unsettling truth about the ‘Mostly Harmless’ hiker

#149

Post by kayodelycaon »

kayodelycaon wrote: post #143
tartoran wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do you know you've changed and it's not just the perception of how you see yourself post the event? Did you change your thinking patterns as well? If you're uncomfortable to share that's more than okay and very understandable.

Love to. I’m a card-carrying member of the Over-sharers Club The way I think and care about people has changed. I no longer care what people think about me. At the same time, I have a depth of compassion and empathy I couldn’t have had before. I have no obligation to anyone. This lets me choose to care about someone without getting unnecessarily attracted. As a result, I can share my love and support freely without w…

Another note on masks. If you’ve always been known for your positive traits and your negative ones can be overlooked by people who like you, many people won’t notice if your positive traits get better and your negative ones become smoothed out.

If they do notice, they chalk it up to maturity.

Re: The unsettling truth about the ‘Mostly Harmless’ hiker

#150

Post by helmholtz »

UI_at_80x24 wrote: post #98
dkarl wrote: post #46

Maybe Rodriguez’s story is similar to Cody’s. He was alone in a vast, unfamiliar city. He’d destroyed his relationships. He left his apartment in anger. And then, as he traversed the mountains, walking through sugar maple and oak, hickory and poplar, stepping over roots and rocks, he tamed his demons too. The many people who met him didn’t sense the dark, brooding, sometimes dangerous person who left Brooklyn. People…

> People who decide to commit suicide sometimes appear to others to be feeling a lot better in the time between the decision and the final act. To misquote a line from a favorite TV show; "Fear accompanies the possibility of death. Calm shepherds its certainty." -Ka D'Argo, Farscape I have attempted suicide, and that line fits for me. As another reader has pointed out there is also peace that comes from making a choi…

Christ, I can't imagine what it feels like to be in a place where the only choice one sees is out. Hope you're feeling better.
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