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'Rent-a-person who does nothing' in Tokyo receives endless requests, gratitude

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Re: 'Rent-a-person who does nothing' in Tokyo receives endless requests, gratitude

#81

Post by rchaud »

ravenstine wrote: post #75
Karuma wrote: post #18

A friendly reminder that Japan's rent-a-family industry was completely fake: https://newrepublic.com/article/160595/new-yorker-japan-rent... Everyone loves stories about how weird Japan is (especially the Japanese), so these stories should be taken with a grain of salt.

Yeah if you just read all these articles about Japan, you'd think that all young men beat off to hentai all day at their parent's home, and that everyone is visiting "love hotels", or buys used panties from vending machines. The media loves to spin up an image of Japan to naive westerners by exaggerating its quirks. It reminds me of HN. If you read HN too much, you might think that you can only write applications in…

But who's 'the media' here? Occasionally you'll see a piece in a major publication about Japanese consumer trends or strange products that become big hits. More recently I've seen articles about the hikikomori (sp?) "lost generation" people that graduated just as the bubble burst 30 years ago. But the rest of the coverage is 'normal'; political, business and sports news.

The only place I ever see "weird Japan" content regularly is Reddit and western vloggers living in Japan posting the most sensationalist stuff possible.

Re: 'Rent-a-person who does nothing' in Tokyo receives endless requests, gratitude

#82

Post by pnathan »

bjeds wrote: post #22
chickenmonkey wrote: post #9

Ultimately, perhaps some of these people are really looking for a therapist.

... but without the stigma. But I think the guy himself has a point when he says he lowers the bar. Think how many different jobs (or "roles") there that can be ranked in a kind of hierarchy: not in the sense of a career ladder, but in services and expertise offered. Between the bottom of this hierarchy, and nothing, is a gap to fill. Take for example personal protection. Sure, if I need a high tier of that service,…

Yes, this isn't just _therapy_. Although apparently he provides that in a highly limited way. I think "someone to tag along in uncertain & common situations" is a useful service.

I also think that there's probably a lot lost in translation, and would be very interested in a JP resident / speaker providing commentary and context.

Re: 'Rent-a-person who does nothing' in Tokyo receives endless requests, gratitude

#83

Post by nonbirithm »

the_local_host wrote: post #10

> "I get upset when people simply tell me keep on trying. When someone is trying to do something, I think the best thing to do is to help lower the bar for them by staying at their side" This is brilliant.

Nobody that I seek advice for in online communities seems to understand this. Too often I know I'm doing it wrong, and I get told back the equivalent of "well, because you're doing it wrong. What did you expect?"

I keep thinking that just sharing a room with someone that ignores me and just does exactly what it is I'm trying to do would be ten times more helpful than being picked apart for all my flaws (which I understand exist, that's why I want accountability to fix them).

The less time it takes for me to go from a game over screen to my next life, the more likely I'm not going to just quit the game in frustration. Preferably that time is zero seconds.

Re: 'Rent-a-person who does nothing' in Tokyo receives endless requests, gratitude

#84

Post by Blikkentrekker »

Karuma wrote: post #18

A friendly reminder that Japan's rent-a-family industry was completely fake: https://newrepublic.com/article/160595/new-yorker-japan-rent... Everyone loves stories about how weird Japan is (especially the Japanese), so these stories should be taken with a grain of salt.

The difference is that this article alleges the existence of a single individual, rather than a trend.

The other article spoke in vague words of quantity, which is quite common in news articles, that a certain quantity is suggested, but actual numbers are never shown.

They are then not technically wrong but know full well most readers would infer a more spectacular claim than what they know the truth is.

I'd argue that when numbers actually be spectacular, news articles invariably cite them, and when they not be, cover them up in vague words — in this case however the number is 1, as it's about a single man only.

Re: 'Rent-a-person who does nothing' in Tokyo receives endless requests, gratitude

#85

Post by dialamac »

rchaud wrote: post #81
ravenstine wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah if you just read all these articles about Japan, you'd think that all young men beat off to hentai all day at their parent's home, and that everyone is visiting "love hotels", or buys used panties from vending machines. The media loves to spin up an image of Japan to naive westerners by exaggerating its quirks. It reminds me of HN. If you read HN too much, you might think that you can only write applications in…

But who's 'the media' here? Occasionally you'll see a piece in a major publication about Japanese consumer trends or strange products that become big hits. More recently I've seen articles about the hikikomori (sp?) "lost generation" people that graduated just as the bubble burst 30 years ago. But the rest of the coverage is 'normal'; political, business and sports news. The only place I ever see "weird Japan" conten…

Case in point was already mentioned. The New Yorker is the outlet that ran with the bullshit rent a family story.

Re: 'Rent-a-person who does nothing' in Tokyo receives endless requests, gratitude

#86

Post by Blikkentrekker »

chickenmonkey wrote: post #9

Ultimately, perhaps some of these people are really looking for a therapist.

The problem with therapists is that therapists tend to come of as a position of authority and that that, for many, makes them less effective.

This man takes the position of a peer.

Re: 'Rent-a-person who does nothing' in Tokyo receives endless requests, gratitude

#87

Post by TulliusCicero »

hospadar wrote: post #80

Isn't this just describing a therapist? I don't mean that to belittle this (whether it be real or fake), I think therapy is great, and I often feel like therapy could (and does, I suppose) exist in many more formats than just sitting-on-couch-in-quiet-office (rent-a-friend, good psychics, good religious leaders, bartenders, etc, etc). Whether real or not, I think the fact that it _sounds_ plausible [at least enough t…

It's like a very passive therapist slash low-key friend who can go with you to different places.

Re: 'Rent-a-person who does nothing' in Tokyo receives endless requests, gratitude

#88

Post by schwartzworld »

hospadar wrote: post #80

Isn't this just describing a therapist? I don't mean that to belittle this (whether it be real or fake), I think therapy is great, and I often feel like therapy could (and does, I suppose) exist in many more formats than just sitting-on-couch-in-quiet-office (rent-a-friend, good psychics, good religious leaders, bartenders, etc, etc). Whether real or not, I think the fact that it _sounds_ plausible [at least enough t…

No, the jobs he was hired for don't sound like a therapist at all. At most he is only willing to offer feedback, but most of the jobs are literally just people wanting an extra person for a variety of reasons.

Re: 'Rent-a-person who does nothing' in Tokyo receives endless requests, gratitude

#89

Post by TulliusCicero »

Blikkentrekker wrote: post #86
chickenmonkey wrote: post #9

Ultimately, perhaps some of these people are really looking for a therapist.

The problem with therapists is that therapists tend to come of as a position of authority and that that, for many, makes them less effective. This man takes the position of a peer.

An unassuming, low-key peer at that.

Re: 'Rent-a-person who does nothing' in Tokyo receives endless requests, gratitude

#90

Post by rchaud »

hospadar wrote: post #80

Isn't this just describing a therapist? I don't mean that to belittle this (whether it be real or fake), I think therapy is great, and I often feel like therapy could (and does, I suppose) exist in many more formats than just sitting-on-couch-in-quiet-office (rent-a-friend, good psychics, good religious leaders, bartenders, etc, etc). Whether real or not, I think the fact that it _sounds_ plausible [at least enough t…

No, therapists make you do homework. The job involves more than lending a sympathetic ear and pocketing the cash.

Behavioural change doesn't happen by just talking. Maybe that's for session 1, but for session 2, you'll have to do work to understand your feelings, what triggers them and how to set up your life and daily schedule to manage them. To do this you will likely be asked to keep a mood diary, and review the results during the sessions.

Lots of people quit therapy because it's expensive and their employer may only cover the cost of say 10 sessions. But a lot of people quit well before that because they go into it thinking that they'll "let it all out" and get instant results.

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