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Just Wanted to Say Thanks

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Re: Just Wanted to Say Thanks

#151

Post by 6gvONxR4sf7o »

nmlpx wrote: post #134
6gvONxR4sf7o wrote: post #90

I’ve learned that when I have a positive thought about someone, it’s generally worth communicating it. If I think a coworker saved me on some project, I tell them. If my partner is making me feel warm and fuzzy, I tell her. If someone impresses me, I say so. I don’t think people express these things nearly as often as they feel them, and I expect that many of the positive things that do end up communicated have anoth…

In theory that is great. I stopped praising colleagues after I found out that several people behaved as if they owned me afterwards. Also, I had a manager who would move everyone I praised off the team. He was paranoid about cliques.

You might need to adjust how you're praising people. A simple earnest slack DM of "thanks for the hand with that thing! i really appreciate you taking the time to do that" will still make people feel great.

Re: Just Wanted to Say Thanks

#152

Post by [deleted] »

symlinkk wrote: post #148
ImaCake wrote: post #143

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have personally experienced this. My otherwise really good manager had a monthly vote for the best worker in our small team where each vote was publicly announced. I, and another coworker, never got a vote while others got several. Really great way to make some of your workers feel really left out!

If they handed out the award to everyone it would be meaningless

[deleted]

Re: Just Wanted to Say Thanks

#153

Post by henry_bone »

ImaCake wrote: post #143
c_s_guy wrote: post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I imagine it might also cause adverse effects if someone happens to be missed.

I have personally experienced this. My otherwise really good manager had a monthly vote for the best worker in our small team where each vote was publicly announced. I, and another coworker, never got a vote while others got several. Really great way to make some of your workers feel really left out!

The OP was talking about genuine, honest communication. I think these rituals in work teams have the correct idea. Their hearts are in the right place, so to speak, but it doesn't really work perfectly. As you've said some can feel left out. Others might just feel uncomfortable.

The idea is good: share the love, highlight good work. But it probably better just to let people know more naturally.

Re: Just Wanted to Say Thanks

#154

Post by briandear »

kostarelo wrote: post #126
6gvONxR4sf7o wrote: post #90

I’ve learned that when I have a positive thought about someone, it’s generally worth communicating it. If I think a coworker saved me on some project, I tell them. If my partner is making me feel warm and fuzzy, I tell her. If someone impresses me, I say so. I don’t think people express these things nearly as often as they feel them, and I expect that many of the positive things that do end up communicated have anoth…

On every retrospective session we do, every other week, there is an additional column called “stars” or “heros” and we add a note each there giving praises to someone else for something they did those two weeks. We then read them all out followed by a round of applause for each one of them. It brings great positivity to the team.

That sounds horrible to me. I’d much rather be in the background rather than getting effusive, mandatory public praise. Maybe I’m weird, but I’m not motivated by cupcakes, gold stars and clapping. If I do a good job, that’s just the minimum standard. If I do something worthy of clapping, then just remember that when it’s time to award annual RSUs and bonuses or when a special project comes up that needs leadership.

To me it’s embarrassing to be recognized publicly for literally doing what I am being paid to do. Instead, perhaps recognize each week the people that didn’t meet the standard:

“Wanted to recognize Bob this week for being a bit of a douche as well as letting all of us down when he messed up the build system and delayed our build delivery to QA and the Loc team thus having the rest of us having to scramble over the weekend to clean up the mess. Thanks Bob!”

Re: Just Wanted to Say Thanks

#155

Post by briandear »

nicbou wrote: post #142
6gvONxR4sf7o wrote: post #90

I’ve learned that when I have a positive thought about someone, it’s generally worth communicating it. If I think a coworker saved me on some project, I tell them. If my partner is making me feel warm and fuzzy, I tell her. If someone impresses me, I say so. I don’t think people express these things nearly as often as they feel them, and I expect that many of the positive things that do end up communicated have anoth…

To an extent. As I become more generous with my compliments, I find that even a genuine compliment might be too much sometimes. That being said, I never miss a chance to praise people's work. As long as you don't make a big scene out of it, it's always appreciated.

Completely agree. I prefer private praise both as a recipient and as a giver. Often I’ll send a quick note to the person’s manager as well. Occasionally, if it’s really spectacular work, I’ll cc our org’s upper management as well.

Re: Just Wanted to Say Thanks

#156

Post by LandR »

kostarelo wrote: post #126
6gvONxR4sf7o wrote: post #90

I’ve learned that when I have a positive thought about someone, it’s generally worth communicating it. If I think a coworker saved me on some project, I tell them. If my partner is making me feel warm and fuzzy, I tell her. If someone impresses me, I say so. I don’t think people express these things nearly as often as they feel them, and I expect that many of the positive things that do end up communicated have anoth…

On every retrospective session we do, every other week, there is an additional column called “stars” or “heros” and we add a note each there giving praises to someone else for something they did those two weeks. We then read them all out followed by a round of applause for each one of them. It brings great positivity to the team.

I'd hate that.

I'm cringing just thinking of a team doing that.

Re: Just Wanted to Say Thanks

#157

Post by cjmcqueen »

yiyus wrote: post #129
kostarelo wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

On every retrospective session we do, every other week, there is an additional column called “stars” or “heros” and we add a note each there giving praises to someone else for something they did those two weeks. We then read them all out followed by a round of applause for each one of them. It brings great positivity to the team.

> We then read them all out followed by a round of applause for each one of them That may be good for team building and make some people feel better but, personally, I would find that situation very uncomfortable.

Gratitude is a skill anyone can learn. Accepting compliments is also a skill that anyone can learn. But, both of them take practice. It's okay to feel uncomfortable with something, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's wrong. Sometimes we're just uncomfortable with something because it's not something we've had a lot of experience with.

Re: Just Wanted to Say Thanks

#158

Post by tompazourek »

adamwathan wrote: post #138

This thread motivated me to add a new "kind words" category to the Tailwind CSS discussions area on GitHub — maybe other projects can do the same: https://github.com/tailwindlabs/tailwindcss/discussions/cate... Managing OSS stuff really is brutal, and the amount of negative stuff you hear is hugely disproportionate to the amount of positive stuff. Anything to encourage the happy users to speak up once in a while can…

The Tailwind project is a great example of modern OSS done right. It's managed and organized very well, and not to forget about all the related quality content (videos, streams). You and your colleagues are a great inspiration. Sorry to hear that you're getting so much discouraging feedback.

Re: Just Wanted to Say Thanks

#159

Post by ImaCake »

henry_bone wrote: post #153
ImaCake wrote: post #143

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have personally experienced this. My otherwise really good manager had a monthly vote for the best worker in our small team where each vote was publicly announced. I, and another coworker, never got a vote while others got several. Really great way to make some of your workers feel really left out!

The OP was talking about genuine, honest communication. I think these rituals in work teams have the correct idea. Their hearts are in the right place, so to speak, but it doesn't really work perfectly. As you've said some can feel left out. Others might just feel uncomfortable. The idea is good: share the love, highlight good work. But it probably better just to let people know more naturally.

Absolutely. My current workplace is very good at the organic thankyou. I try my best to show gratitude where I can.

Re: Just Wanted to Say Thanks

#160

Post by yiyus »

cjmcqueen wrote: post #157
yiyus wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> We then read them all out followed by a round of applause for each one of them That may be good for team building and make some people feel better but, personally, I would find that situation very uncomfortable.

Gratitude is a skill anyone can learn. Accepting compliments is also a skill that anyone can learn. But, both of them take practice. It's okay to feel uncomfortable with something, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's wrong. Sometimes we're just uncomfortable with something because it's not something we've had a lot of experience with.

Expressing gratitude and accepting compliments are nice skills to have, but making of it a public show is just bad taste, IMO.
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