I've dealt with basically exactly what the OP described, but have had a very different takeaway from it. I don't let it affect me at all, it's something I do for 8 hours a day (extremely rarely more than that) and then don't ever think about it or talk about it.
I develop software in my spare time because I love software, hardware, and building things, but in my day job I might as well be a janitor for all the similarity it has to making things.
It sounds like OP puts too much stock in being fulfilled at work (which is great if you can find it), but I have a more pragmatic "I give them 8 hours of my day in return for money (and some growth) and that's it" attitude, which I find helps my mental health much more.
If my job gets to a point where I think that spending 8 hours a day isn't worth the money or that I'm not learning enough, I quit.