The demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis
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The demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis
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Re: The demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis
#2I'm in my late 20s, and already starting to feel some anxiety around the nearing conclusion of what could be called my "youth". But my therapist, in his forties, has experienced (and relayed to me) the "life begins at 40" philosophy (I didn't actually realize it was something other people said until I saw this article).
It's not just wishful thinking for him: he felt that he didn't really figure out who he was, didn't really start self-actualizing en force before 40. Having known him a few years, it's clear to me that he genuinely has a very balanced and happy life, one with a family that he loves but also with his own goals and small pleasures, his own meaningful friendships, etc.
So I guess: I would tend to agree that the midlife crisis is a trap constructed by our western culture, and one that it's very possible to simply pass by. I think you just have to never stop working on yourself and asking (and listening to) what your needs are. Keep a balanced life of relationships, and pursuits, and self-care, and - yes - some accomplishments too. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Don't get complacent, but don't burn out either. Be in it for the long haul.
Re: The demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis
#3I'm in my late 20s, and already starting to feel some anxiety around the nearing conclusion of what could be called my "youth". But my therapist, in his forties, has experienced (and relayed to me) the "life begins at 40" philosophy (I didn't actually realize it was something other people said until I saw this article). It's not just wishful thinking for him: he felt that he didn't really figure out who he was, didn'…
I’m about to turn 40 and have never felt less in crisis. Although I have never had any fear of my own mortality which could be what drives the crisis for many people. I also don’t tend to care much about what I’m “supposed” to do in life vs what I want to do.
Re: The demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis
#4I'm in my late 20s, and already starting to feel some anxiety around the nearing conclusion of what could be called my "youth". But my therapist, in his forties, has experienced (and relayed to me) the "life begins at 40" philosophy (I didn't actually realize it was something other people said until I saw this article). It's not just wishful thinking for him: he felt that he didn't really figure out who he was, didn'…
Plato seems to have shared this view. He said one shouldn't engage in philosophy, life's most important pursuit, until one turns 40.
Re: The demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis
#5I'm in my late 20s, and already starting to feel some anxiety around the nearing conclusion of what could be called my "youth". But my therapist, in his forties, has experienced (and relayed to me) the "life begins at 40" philosophy (I didn't actually realize it was something other people said until I saw this article). It's not just wishful thinking for him: he felt that he didn't really figure out who he was, didn'…
That might also be related to the occupation of your therapist - being, well, a therapist. Seems like almost everyone would choose an older person as their therapist; and conversely, hardly anyone, at, say 40 years old, would go see a 20 year old therapist. So their career really start taking off at maybe 40 and it steadily climbs up.
Re: The demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis
#6I have a personal theory that we enter into a "crisis" of some sort roughly every 5 years. Essentially 1-2 years of definition/growth/change, 2 years-ish of normalcy post change, 1-2 years of redefinition as things become old and others become new/interesting.
A perpetual cycle of shifting identity as we change internally and externally. I think it's a good thing to have and understand, but can be overwhelming as well.
I have zero evidence of this, it's just kind of based on my own observations. It's helped me to not be so hard on my self though when I find my tastes, interests, and identity changing over time.
Re: The demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis
#7I'm in my late 20s, and already starting to feel some anxiety around the nearing conclusion of what could be called my "youth". But my therapist, in his forties, has experienced (and relayed to me) the "life begins at 40" philosophy (I didn't actually realize it was something other people said until I saw this article). It's not just wishful thinking for him: he felt that he didn't really figure out who he was, didn'…
Plato seems to have shared this view. He said one shouldn't engage in philosophy, life's most important pursuit, until one turns 40.
Interestingly same suggestion is found in Kabbalah: in order to study it you have to be above 40 years old, expert in Talmud, and expert in Jewish law.
Re: The demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis
#8I have a personal theory that we enter into a "crisis" of some sort roughly every 5 years. Essentially 1-2 years of definition/growth/change, 2 years-ish of normalcy post change, 1-2 years of redefinition as things become old and others become new/interesting. A perpetual cycle of shifting identity as we change internally and externally. I think it's a good thing to have and understand, but can be overwhelming as wel…
It’s the many lives theory! Taked about 7 years to focus on a thing effectively, leading to roughly 11 lives for most of us.
Re: The demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis
#9I'm in my late 20s, and already starting to feel some anxiety around the nearing conclusion of what could be called my "youth". But my therapist, in his forties, has experienced (and relayed to me) the "life begins at 40" philosophy (I didn't actually realize it was something other people said until I saw this article). It's not just wishful thinking for him: he felt that he didn't really figure out who he was, didn'…
I’m about to turn 40 and have never felt less in crisis. Although I have never had any fear of my own mortality which could be what drives the crisis for many people. I also don’t tend to care much about what I’m “supposed” to do in life vs what I want to do.
Historically I've taken the things "I want to do" and turned them into things "I'm supposed to do", and in the process built up a lot of stress over them. But that's something I've been working on changing, mainly via therapy :)
Re: The demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis
#10I have a personal theory that we enter into a "crisis" of some sort roughly every 5 years. Essentially 1-2 years of definition/growth/change, 2 years-ish of normalcy post change, 1-2 years of redefinition as things become old and others become new/interesting. A perpetual cycle of shifting identity as we change internally and externally. I think it's a good thing to have and understand, but can be overwhelming as wel…
You could probably extrapolate the infant, child, adolescent, and adult's growth and development model (with hormone increases and decreases) to find evidence. I think your hunch is pretty cool and spot on for my experience as well. Surely, too, do external events either speed up or slow down some parts - but the core idea of new stage change, stasis, then redefinition could be worth exploring.