Who Americans spend their time with, by age • Hacker News Board

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#191

Post by kill-procrustes » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 6:36 PM UTC

visarga wrote: post #99

_qulr wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> not fighting against the way that our bodies and minds were designed Our minds and bodies were not designed. They evolved — slowly — under conditions of relatively harshness and scarcity that to a large extent no longer exist. The human "habitat" has changed radically in the past several hundred years. One might argue that we're no longer adapted to our environment. Evolution doesn't work quickly enough for that. I…

So they were designed by death?

That's pretty much a perfect summation of the theory of evolution.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#192

Post by astura » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 6:38 PM UTC

knaq wrote: post #118

wbl wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Places can change. There's nothing stopping suburbia from becoming more walkable and friendly to the elderly other than choices we made.

"more walkable and friendly to the elderly" are very separate things, usually in conflict. The elderly face disability like arthritis, poor body temperature control, uncertainty about lower leg position or pavement contact, bad vision, bad hearing, confusion, and numerous other troubles. No normal or reasonable amount of "more walkable" is going to work. They need family members who care. The family members need park…

Personal mobility devices like walkers, wheelchairs and scooters mix well with pedestrian traffic, not so much with vehicular traffic.

My grandma was very feeble at the end of her life and the biggest pain point for her was getting her in and out of the car. If we could get her in her wheelchair and just roll her down the street for brunch, she would have gone out so much more. Instead we had to get her to the car, then pick her up to get into the car, buckle her down, fold up her wheelchair, drive somewhere, then do everything in reverse. Then do it two more times on the way home. She disliked the entire process so much she usually didn't want to bother leaving the house.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#193

Post by dfxm12 » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 6:38 PM UTC

axaxs wrote: post #160

jvanderbot wrote: post #134

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A more "natural" arrangement occurs if we all don't run to large cities chasing glory and gold (which I have done, full disclosure, much to my child-caring woes). There is nothing wrong with nuclear families if you add in something like "nuclear communities". In many small towns or suburban cities, 3 generations live nearby, with all the aunts and uncles. Help with care is always next door, and children are raised wi…

I experienced this in the small town suburb I lived in once. There were always random kids in and out of the house, we'd give them food/water/bandaids whatever. Tell jokes/stories. Even though we aren't related, we all knew each other and our kids just kinda bounced around together. Definitely a cool experience. I think the media making the entire world out to be some bogeyman waiting to kidnap your child is as much…

making the entire world out to be some bogeyman waiting to kidnap your child is as much to blame as anything.

The US president is certainly guilty of this, and it appears to be a GOP strategy to exacerbate and prey on this fear [0].

0 - https://www.latimes.com/politics/story/2020-08-26/republican...

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#194

Post by alashley » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 6:40 PM UTC

Swizec wrote: post #146

burade wrote: post #130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's only meddling if you're way too stressed out by trying to keep up with capitalism. If you live a simple life without too much stress then it's not really meddling.

No it’s definitely meddling when you’re 30+ and your mom waltzes into your kitchen and says “Mmmmm are you sure that knife goes in that drawer? And when’s the last time you did the dishes anyway look at this mess”

Yeah being told "it's time to go to bed now" as a 27 year old man is a special kind of silent death.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#195

Post by caymanjim » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 6:41 PM UTC

conradev wrote: post #75

burlesona wrote: post #36

The thing that seems crazy to me is how much time alone increases with age. There are many many reasons for it, but one thing I think is especially sad is how much this is a consequence of our built environment. If you live in a village with multiple generations of a family around, it’s much easier for grandparents to be involved day too day in helping with little things in the village, especially keeping an eye on t…

My grandma sold her house and we used some of the money to convert our garage into an apartment for her so that she could live with our family. Certainly not everyone can do this but living with your parents/grandparents as they get older does seem like a reasonable “fix” to me.

It's nice that you feel this way about your parents and grandparents, but this is a nightmare scenario for me. I hope I die suddenly before I have to rely on anyone else to support me in any way, and if I'm being honest, I hope my own parents go out that way too.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#196

Post by ragazzina » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 6:42 PM UTC

jvanderbot wrote: post #85

I cannot wait until the nursing home lan parties. During pandemic I have rekindled relationships with 2-3 friends, some out of state, and we've played games at least 2x a week. The opportunity for casual interaction (via discord) while focusing on another task (the challenging game), perfectly mimics the environment to build deep longlasting relationships through shared struggle, trust building, communication, feedba…

>I cannot wait until the nursing home lan parties.

I've seen this sentiment a lot on the internet, but after having visited many nursing homes, I don't think it will ever happen. Maybe nursing homes are different in the US, maybe I've seen the wrong kind of nursing home.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#197

Post by kill-procrustes » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 6:44 PM UTC

6gvONxR4sf7o wrote: post #72

I’m most surprised by the time with friends. I expected it to peak later and be higher. I wonder whether it counts roommates. I know that spending less time with friends has been a particularly difficult aspect of aging for me, and I expect similar for many people.

I was just discussing this thread with a friend of mine and we agreed on the same thing. Taleb has a line about college being the closest thing to a natural social state in the Western world. I think our brains feel comfortable in some sort of regular, persistent social milieu, particularly one formed by close friends/family. We expect some sort of tribe to be around us. That doesn't mean some of us aren't introverts—I definitely am one—but as I get older the absence of my friend group constantly there in the background is really painful.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#198

Post by strogonoff » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 6:45 PM UTC

Starting from about age 20, most of a given day an average American spends alone (except for those who have kids, for whom for a few years the situation is different).

Would be very interesting to find statistics obtained by similar methods for others locations.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#199

Post by AlwaysRock » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 6:47 PM UTC

Swizec wrote: post #88

frakt0x90 wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I experienced this first hand when I visited my wife's family in Vietnam. All 10 or so of them live in homes side by side on the outskirts of Saigon. Everyone woke up in the morning and cooked for each other. Every day was like a little party. It was so nice to have that much support around all the time. I have never experienced anything like that in the US. Of course having family literally at your doorstep has its…

My mom always said ”Move far away enough that your parents can’t visit in their slippers, trust me you don’t want that kinda meddling” I moved to USA. “Damn it I didn’t mean that far” ~ mom My sister lives with her boyfriend in his mom’s house. There is indeed a ridiculous amount of meddling even though they’re technically separate households.

The further I have moved from Family the more I have started to wish I was closer to them physically. Especially this year when our normal yearly gatherings were disrupted.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#200

Post by zoolily » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 6:47 PM UTC

anotherman554 wrote: post #175

urban_strike wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Longer on average, yes, but I highly doubt healthier. I think we'd be in awe of the average health/fitness of a 30 year old hunter gatherer from 100,000 years ago, compared with the average corresponding human in modern times.

I thought people in the past were shorter due to malnutrition? I don't think we'd be in awe of them.

Hunter-gatherers were considerably taller than farmers.