Am I Disabled? • Hacker News Board

Re: Am I Disabled?

#111

Post by [deleted] » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 1:21 PM UTC

WalterBright wrote: post #88

kolinko wrote: post #61

Excellent question. As a person with ADHD (but on meds), and a possible CFS, I ask myself this sometimes. While I wouldn't use a disabled parking spot , there are some exceptions from social norms that I allow myself: - segregating trash (keeping an apartament clean and organised is crazy difficult by itself, and I still learn to put things into trash after using, at the age of 36) - getting a sitting space in a crow…

> who doesn't look disabled My dad said if you were a young man during WW2, walking down the street not in uniform, and did not look disabled, people would spit on you. It was hard on people with invisible disabilities.

[deleted]

Re: Am I Disabled?

#112

Post by macspoofing » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 1:21 PM UTC

kolinko wrote: post #61

Excellent question. As a person with ADHD (but on meds), and a possible CFS, I ask myself this sometimes. While I wouldn't use a disabled parking spot , there are some exceptions from social norms that I allow myself: - segregating trash (keeping an apartament clean and organised is crazy difficult by itself, and I still learn to put things into trash after using, at the age of 36) - getting a sitting space in a crow…

>getting a sitting space in a crowded bus, even if there are old people around

Why? Giving up a seat to an older individual is a show of respect as well as a recognition that standing for seniors is a bigger burden than it is for a young 30-something. Why would ADHD change that?

Re: Am I Disabled?

#113

Post by macspoofing » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 1:28 PM UTC

nvarsj wrote: post #68

I'm more shocked that the author managed to get a diagnosis on the NHS at the age of 42. In my experience, the NHS won't refer you to a psychologist unless you're on the brink of suicide or complete mental breakdown. It's incredibly tough to get mental help in this country.

Healthcare (universal or otherwise) deals well with short term 'conditions' (things like dealing with broken bones, flu, heart attacks, and even cancer). It does not deal well with long-term chronic conditions that require personalized, daily care. I know a couple with a severely autistic child and they just can't get any support because the only support they could get is a specialist to work with the child day-in and day-out and that just cannot scale.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#114

Post by paulryanrogers » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 1:34 PM UTC

Jaruzel wrote: post #110

The problem is with the word 'disable'. It's the negative form of 'able', and is therefore considered socially to be an inferior condition. If we had another, standalone, word for people with various conditions and limitations it wouldn't be seen as something to pity, and people would be more open about who they are and what they can and cannot do.

Differently abled is one that I've heard. And it seems fitting since most hope to grow old, which inevitably means at least some changes in ability. Hopefully gaining some with experience even if losing others to entropy.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#115

Post by anoncake » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 1:37 PM UTC

macspoofing wrote: post #112

kolinko wrote: post #61

Excellent question. As a person with ADHD (but on meds), and a possible CFS, I ask myself this sometimes. While I wouldn't use a disabled parking spot , there are some exceptions from social norms that I allow myself: - segregating trash (keeping an apartament clean and organised is crazy difficult by itself, and I still learn to put things into trash after using, at the age of 36) - getting a sitting space in a crow…

>getting a sitting space in a crowded bus, even if there are old people around Why? Giving up a seat to an older individual is a show of respect as well as a recognition that standing for seniors is a bigger burden than it is for a young 30-something. Why would ADHD change that?

They wrote they also have CFS (or something with similar symptoms)

Re: Am I Disabled?

#116

Post by anoncake » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 1:42 PM UTC

souprock wrote: post #28

Thorrez wrote: post #24

I'm colorblind and I always wonder if I should answer yes because of that.

I knew a colorblind person with a Graphics Design degree. He got by by using a color picker to read the RGB values. He ended up switching careers.

Having someone colour-blind involved in the design at least guarantees that it's accessible to them.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#117

Post by speeder » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 1:43 PM UTC

macspoofing wrote: post #112

kolinko wrote: post #61

Excellent question. As a person with ADHD (but on meds), and a possible CFS, I ask myself this sometimes. While I wouldn't use a disabled parking spot , there are some exceptions from social norms that I allow myself: - segregating trash (keeping an apartament clean and organised is crazy difficult by itself, and I still learn to put things into trash after using, at the age of 36) - getting a sitting space in a crow…

>getting a sitting space in a crowded bus, even if there are old people around Why? Giving up a seat to an older individual is a show of respect as well as a recognition that standing for seniors is a bigger burden than it is for a young 30-something. Why would ADHD change that?

Not the person you are replying to but...

In my case was because if I tried to give space to older people, I would go nuts, having ADHD and possibly (I never tried to get diagnosed since there is no treatment) Asperger's, I just don't notice old people there... So I go, see a spot, sit, and after a while note the stares and so on.

I had to learn to ignore the stares, because whenever I was worried about being a gentleman and whatnot I ended going into crazy thinking spirals on my head, ruminating non-stop if I was offending someone or not, or not noticing someone, I would instead scare people, looking like some sort of paranoid person on the bus.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#118

Post by idclip » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 1:46 PM UTC

I actually admitted this to myself lately.

Hits hard. But its time to take a break, and heal.

Being human is so raw. Disease is such a dual edged sword. So many feelings i think i would never have had.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#119

Post by testplzignore » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 1:48 PM UTC

rurban wrote: post #80

dagmx wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a current epileptic (spinal injury, recovered partial paralysis) I still have to deal with the fact that I'm in fact, disabled. Working at a FAANG in silicon valley really highlights that. My commute is 4 hours a day because I have to take public transit, and working late hours is a bigger burden than unaffected people in similar life situations. I'm completely dependent on others to take me places, even for groce…

Why don't you just live in the parking lot? 4 hours is insane

The parking lot is not zoned for residential use and the NIMBYs would never allow it.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#120

Post by indymike » Fri, Dec 11, 2020, 1:51 PM UTC

I grew up in a home where my Dad had multiple sclerosis and went from playing football with me at age 6 to full-time wheelchair 10 years later. Later in life, while serving in the US Navy, I ended up with a different disability that lasted about 14 years. This article really hit home for me.

For my Dad, simple things we do every day were hard because little things like doors and steps were huge obstacles to him. For me, it was working hours where I could not function without mid-day sleep. For my Dad, there was no way to hide the disability. For me, I looked, moved, and was normal.

Disabilities are at their core a disadvantage. Disclosing them is risky. Most people will use the disclosure for good. But just enough people will use them to deny opportunity or as a signal of weakness. There's a great fear of "reasonable accommodations" because if we make an allowance for one person, soon everyone will be requesting reasonable accommodations... So, when you check the Yes box, you are taking a huge risk.

Incidentally, I learned that checking the veteran box also comes with risk. I was once excluded from consideration from a job because the employer thought all veterans were ticking time bombs or rigid authoritarians with no moral compass.