Guys hate to shop, could this be you in the video? • Hacker News Board

Re: Guys hate to shop, could this be you in the video?

#21

Post by thomasgerbe » Wed, May 11, 2011, 4:15 PM UTC

josefresco wrote: post #16

pstack wrote: post #9

Wow, if men weren't the target here, there might be accusations that it's sexist. Anyway, you know what? I don't like to shop. That's why I buy my groceries online and my local store delivers them the next day. I spend five minutes to do it and someone else goes to the store and brings it to my kitchen, so I can avoid the driving, the parking, the lines, the kids, the checkouts, the bringing the groceries in. Same fo…

Being a "male" has nothing to do with your issues. Maybe the girls who did approach you did so despite the fact that you're dressed and groomed like mental patient (I say that lovingly fellow HNer) Anecdotal evidence is fun and all ("I have a GF so I must know everything about women!") but to think that wardrobe means nothing to the opposite sex is just crazy. As soon as you enter the room your entire presence is scr…

"Anecdotal evidence is fun and all ("I have a GF so I must know everything about women!") but to think that wardrobe means nothing to the opposite sex is just crazy."

Precisely. I think having a style does say a lot about a person. This doesn't mean having to dress in luxury brands, it means taking a stance. Women definitely notice a guy who takes the care for their appearance. That doesn't mean she'll instantly be attracted to him because obviously attraction relies on a combination of factors, but it does give him a slight leg up over other guys, not unlike personality, height, facial appearance, etc.

Caring about appearances isn't a bad thing. It's not like men don't judge women by comparable metrics.

Re: Guys hate to shop, could this be you in the video?

#22

Post by thomasgerbe » Wed, May 11, 2011, 4:19 PM UTC

hugh3 wrote: post #15

I'm glad to have figured out at the age of 20 or so that dressing well (or at least reasonably) is a small investment of time and money that pays off hugely in the long run in terms of how other people treat you. If you're smart and poorly-dressed, you're that useful freakshow. If you're smart and well-dressed, you're the master of the freaking universe. General principles: a) Spend some damn money. I'm not gonna tel…

"If you earn $100K a year and your pants cost $15 then you have a problem"

Disagree. If you go to second-hand stores or flea markets, you can find great deals. And in fact, you constantly wear vintage, that's a specific style that speaks just as loud as wearing a luxury brand.

That said, you are right about fit. I think it's actually better to get cheaper stuff but spend the 'savings' on tailoring because that has much greater benefits than the brand.

Re: Guys hate to shop, could this be you in the video?

#23

Post by pstack » Wed, May 11, 2011, 4:22 PM UTC

JoeAltmaier wrote: post #18

pstack wrote: post #9

Wow, if men weren't the target here, there might be accusations that it's sexist. Anyway, you know what? I don't like to shop. That's why I buy my groceries online and my local store delivers them the next day. I spend five minutes to do it and someone else goes to the store and brings it to my kitchen, so I can avoid the driving, the parking, the lines, the kids, the checkouts, the bringing the groceries in. Same fo…

I'm with you. But I do know guys who Do care. They aren't All gay, and some of them look very good. In fact one fellow, Josh, never wore a single company clothing giveaway in the entire time I worked with him. We even got leather jackets after one release, and he gave it away! No logo, stylish, just not his style. I don't think he spent any inordinate amount of time on it, he just had opinions.

Oh, I know there are guys who are into clothing and hair and all of that, just as much as there are guys who only wear one color of clothing (so everything always matches!) and usually take a trusted female along to make sure they don't do anything too stupid.

But that is a case where someone has chosen to care. If you have an interest in something, it's completely different than someone volunteering their opinion that you suck at it and need someone to do it the right way for you. Especially if it is of no interest to you or you're fine with your own choices, thank-you-very-much. What they're really saying is "let me help you, so that I'll stop judging you".

Re: Guys hate to shop, could this be you in the video?

#24

Post by samlevine » Wed, May 11, 2011, 4:25 PM UTC

hugh3 wrote: post #15

I'm glad to have figured out at the age of 20 or so that dressing well (or at least reasonably) is a small investment of time and money that pays off hugely in the long run in terms of how other people treat you. If you're smart and poorly-dressed, you're that useful freakshow. If you're smart and well-dressed, you're the master of the freaking universe. General principles: a) Spend some damn money. I'm not gonna tel…

If you're already making $100K a year you don't have a problem to begin with. If your lack of ability to make friends and influence people prevents you from making said money in the first place, then yes you may have a problem.

Re: Guys hate to shop, could this be you in the video?

#25

Post by sequoia » Wed, May 11, 2011, 4:27 PM UTC

"Guys, are you emotionally immature man-children who have long been considered 'adults' but still need mommy to help you purchase clothing? Don't boldly take on the responsibilities of adulthood, as your fathers did; celebrate your immaturity!"

I don't have a problem with anyone shopping by 'net, I'm a guy and yes, I do somewhat hate clothes shopping. However, I strongly object to the infantilization of the ostensibly adult men in these videos. There is a trend in our society towards perpetual boyhood and I think it's damaging to the male psyche. Just as women are told they're ugly and inadequate in order to sell them things, men are told they should never grow up or stop indulging themselves in childish ways (to the same end).

I like the business idea but please don't encourage and promote the man-boy image as laudable. Good, short article on the subject: http://www.inthesetimes.com/article/2526/

(for identity politicians: I am a 26yo man with 2 kids, I very much fit the "perpetual boyhood" template before I became a parent, and initially accepted my adult responsibilities only reluctantly. I'm not just speaking down here: this article describes me as well.)

Re: Guys hate to shop, could this be you in the video?

#26

Post by pstack » Wed, May 11, 2011, 4:34 PM UTC

hugh3 wrote: post #15

I'm glad to have figured out at the age of 20 or so that dressing well (or at least reasonably) is a small investment of time and money that pays off hugely in the long run in terms of how other people treat you. If you're smart and poorly-dressed, you're that useful freakshow. If you're smart and well-dressed, you're the master of the freaking universe. General principles: a) Spend some damn money. I'm not gonna tel…

Alternately, if you have the talent and personality, nobody cares what you dress like. At worst, you're eccentric.

I have a hard time believing there is anyone out there in the world who doesn't have the basic common sense to dress themselves well enough to make it at a job interview, a date, or some formal or semi-casual event. Nobody really needs help figuring out the four pieces of clothing that are appropriate and look fine on them, do they? If the advice they're paying for is that basic and simple, then I'm going to start a service where for only $10, I tell you to throw away your stupid junior high school AXE and replace it with something like a nice Bvlgari.

Look at Henry Rollins. Smart guy. A bit eccentric. Looks fine. Does it take a rocket scientist or a hired-hand to tell you that a nice pair of pants and a plain black tee shirt is a good look? Or that untied Converse and sweatpants isn't the way to score points with people who don't know you, yet?

Also, there's a world of difference between "let me dress you like you're my Ken doll, because you have to be hip to the latest fashions in this quarter's fashion magazine" and "hey, don't dress yourself like one of the Kids of Whidney High".