Thanks! This guide is really useful!
How to buy gifts that people actually want
251–260 of 285 posts
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#252Save all the trouble. Gift money. They can buy whatever they want/need/like : groceries, fruits, ice-cream, DSLR, iPhone, Tesla, accesories for stuff they already have, etc. Absolutely full freedom on what to buy, where to buy, when to buy. We need to de-stigmatise / un-shame gifting cash.
Imagine everyone in a group of people gifting everyone else in the group $20. Everyone ends up with the exact same amount of money they started with. How is that a good idea? If we're just going to get each other cash, why bother gifting at all at that point?
Yes
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#253Earlier quoted context omitted.
Honestly I'm not a big fan of gift cards. The point of gift giving is to show you care, and gift cards feel like you're just trying to fulfil a social obligation without putting much thought into it. I'd rather use them as a last resort, for people I don't know so well.
I'm also not a huge fan of gift cards as logically, gift cards are cash with restrictions, which is worse than cash, and cash isn't a good gift, so by transitivity, gift cards aren't a good gift. The only time I use gift cards are when it needs to be reimbursed as a business expense. Personally as a gift receiver I much prefer receiving things that I couldn't have gotten myself, and preferably edible. Simple homemade…
Cash is a great gift for everyone who isn't so rich that gifts are pointless. The war on cash is US corporate consumerism pushing people to waste money.
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#254Many years ago (probably about 20) my wife said she didn’t think we should give gifts to each other. Not Christmas, birthdays, anniversary, etc. Nothing. I thought she was crazy, but went along with it sure that she would see the foolishness and change her mind. Well, to my surprise it has turned out to be a fantastic idea. It totally takes the stress out of holidays and other times. If either of us wants something,…
Oh absolutely. Nothing nicer than just buying a gift for your partner when you see something suitable, and not bothering with fixed dates at all.
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#255Earlier quoted context omitted.
My wife hates this. Everything I want that I can afford, I already own. Anything I want that I can't afford, I shouldn't be receiving as a gift from someone else. That leaves the only remaining case of "things I don't want". So duplicate gifts, expensive gifts, or bad gifts. This puts us into the category that the article states you don't want to be in: guessing for things the other person wants (but doesn't know the…
I think the best gifts are things you want, can afford, but haven't (quite yet) been able to justify. Up-thread people are talking about $300 knives. The vast majority of users here can 'afford' a $300 knife; that doesn't mean it's easy to justify or feel good about though. But receiving a $300 knife? I'd be giggly and excited and I'm not even 'into' knives. (I mean, they're tools, I have some decent ones, but they s…
I'd be sad about the huge waste. That's why a gift should only be a surprise on the when, not the what.
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#256The value of the gift is not its price or utility measure, but attention and respect from the giver. I know that when a person gives me a gift, he/she shows an interest in my joy and happiness. That's just enough. I may use the gift the way it intended to be used to do a gift giver nice in return, even if I really don't need it. Like parents like their children's birthday cards or seashell figurines not for beauty or…
The universal gifts you mention are all consumable. This is good; it's the Japanese style of gift-giving. Give something nice, luxurious, and consumable.
Fancy fruit/chocolate? Delightful to receive, and completely gone from your inventory without any feelings of guilt after consumption.
Fancy spirit/wine/beer? Ditto (only applicable if you know the person consumes alcohol and isn't a problem drinker of course).
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#257What do you do if you genuinely don't want anything? It seems like people don't believe you and keep harassing you asking for what you really want, and then get really frustrated when you keep saying "No, really I don't want anything ". Then they either respect your wishes and don't get anything, but seem to harbor some kind of resentment against you in their heart, or they get some random garbage you don't want and…
Pick a charity or ask them to pick one to give in your honor.
Or ask for some food you like.
Or anything you can exchange locally at a store you like.
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#258What do you do if you genuinely don't want anything? It seems like people don't believe you and keep harassing you asking for what you really want, and then get really frustrated when you keep saying "No, really I don't want anything ". Then they either respect your wishes and don't get anything, but seem to harbor some kind of resentment against you in their heart, or they get some random garbage you don't want and…
> or they get some random garbage you don't want and call you ungrateful when you don't like it. If you don't like a gift the etiquette is not to say "thanks I hate it" but to gratefully accept the gift and pretend it's awesome. Receiving a gift is not all about you, it's equally for the giver. Research shows there are huge benefits to giving gifts, so pretending you like it is a gift in itself.
That's the problem. Pretending to be grateful just encourages more waste of materials and effort, creating an Abilene Paradox. A card is better than a bad gift.
In the long run, honesty creates better relationships than seething resentment toward a disrespectful gift giver.
Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#259Earlier quoted context omitted.
When possible, this is when gift cards are great. My niece is an aspiring artist, and rather than trying to find out what art supplies she wants/needs, I got her a gift card to the art supply store that I know she shops at. Of course, "when possible" is a key word here. Not every store sells gift cards, and sometimes the well-known stores aren't the best deals. Like, I might be interested in making fun electric gadge…
Honestly I'm not a big fan of gift cards. The point of gift giving is to show you care, and gift cards feel like you're just trying to fulfil a social obligation without putting much thought into it. I'd rather use them as a last resort, for people I don't know so well.
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Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want
#260This article makes no sense. It claims I frequently fake positive responses to getting gifts. Being Dutch I fake it less than I probably would in USA culture, but I also just very rarely get a gift I don't want . Is this the norm elsewhere? For me it's just my grandma that doesn't understand what my life is like and gives me a book about local cooking history or some similar crap. Everyone else will remember if I tel…
Wouldn't it better to receive gifts you value instead of wasteful junk?