How to buy gifts that people actually want • Hacker News Board

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#221

Post by throwaway0a5e » Wed, Dec 02, 2020, 3:15 AM UTC

bisby wrote: post #142

boatsie wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, this is the problem with gift giving something a person is “passionate” about— that passion means they probably already have the things they want and likely also has strong preferences you are unlikely to know anyways. I find buying a shared experience is better— a meal, dessert, golf, spa, etc. You get to spend time together, you get the benefit too, and it will not tend to be more memorable than some random gi…

My wife hates this. Everything I want that I can afford, I already own. Anything I want that I can't afford, I shouldn't be receiving as a gift from someone else. That leaves the only remaining case of "things I don't want". So duplicate gifts, expensive gifts, or bad gifts. This puts us into the category that the article states you don't want to be in: guessing for things the other person wants (but doesn't know the…

>That leaves the only remaining case of "things I don't want". So duplicate gifts, expensive gifts, or bad gifts.

You're forgetting consumables. Surely you spend your time doing things and in the process of doing those things you consume other things.

"I have way too many zip ties"

-nobody ever

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#222

Post by social_quotient » Wed, Dec 02, 2020, 3:20 AM UTC

Giftology is a pretty solid book I’d recommend

The sub head for it is “The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention”

And while there is a business context to it I found it helpful in just framing the concept of gifts even on a personal level.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#223

Post by SoonRaccoon » Wed, Dec 02, 2020, 3:29 AM UTC

Here's another twist on this advice. If you make a wish list, try to optimize the list for the gift giver. My brother loves to find the best whatever-it-is for you, so just giving a category optimizes for his gift giving experience. One thing on my list last year was "dice storage", and he got me a really fun dice bag. He got to surprise me, and I got something wanted and actually still use.

My sister is a pleaser, and just wants you to get what you want, so I include links to specific things for her. If she is ever unsure what to get, she can just go straight to one of the linked Amazon pages and just click buy. My list is long enough that even if it's exactly what I asked for, I'm still surprised by what she decided to get for me.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#224

Post by Afton » Wed, Dec 02, 2020, 3:34 AM UTC

willpatrick wrote: post #135

Afton wrote: post #4

Interesting that they didn't really touch on what I consider the hardest part of buying for someone: domain expertise. If I am known as 'into' something, then the likelihood that someone who isn't also into that same thing will come up with a good gift is shockingly low. I bake bread, for example. A book of 100 bread recipes is basically dead weight to me. I have a friend who is really into knives of various sorts. E…

Hey Afton! Yes, I definitely should have talked more about this. I got close to it once or twice, but it's an omission to be sure. (I have a friend who's big into cycling and is, therefore, impossible to buy cycling gifts for because nothing will cut the mustard.) Basically, I a) wasn't able to find much in the way of research that supported what I wanted to say and b) fumbled this point and should have found a way t…

Nah, you made a thing and put it on the internet! Thanks for doing that. The fact that I didn't find it a complete and exhaustive body of work on the topic absolutely shouldn't be interpreted as a criticism of the article.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#225

Post by raisedbyninjas » Wed, Dec 02, 2020, 3:48 AM UTC

codeulike wrote: post #48

Stopped reading at 'Nobody Actually Likes Charity Gifts' I understand the social bonds of gift giving but this whole Christmas thing is completely out of hand, so much pointless consumption. The idea of gift giving at christmas is like a good instinct that has been hideously amplified to 1000x what it should be and turned into a monster. I pretty much insist on people giving me charity gifts most years.

Micro-loan charities like Kiva strike cool balance. The recipient determines if it all goes to charity or if they want to withdraw some of the cash later. The recipient is also involved in the selection process.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#226

Post by mixmastamyk » Wed, Dec 02, 2020, 4:00 AM UTC

claudiawerner wrote: post #213

cgriswald wrote: post #199

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a lot to unpack here. I think a much better method is to recognize that if you have trouble figuring out a gift for a person, you either haven't put enough thought into it, or you don't know the person as well as you might like. > "I love X author" This is fine as long as you realize they probably own all of author's works and maybe even pre-ordered the latest release. Find something unique (signed copy? firs…

>This can be a minefield. If you personally know something about the hobby this can work. But if you find yourself saying "The minimum wage employee at Best Buy told me this widget was the best one" I've heard people talk about this online. For example, someone getting into record collecting being gifted the cheapest turntable available on Amazon or in a high street fashion/trinkets store that not only sounds bad but…

Gift cert to Amoeba records.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#227

Post by mixmastamyk » Wed, Dec 02, 2020, 4:04 AM UTC

the_af wrote: post #106

joshstrange wrote: post #21

Best gift advice I give regularly: Keep a note on your phone (doesn't matter the app Apple Notes, Google Keep, SimpleNote, Drafts, etc) with a header for each person you want to get a gift for. Throughout the year whenever you hear them say "I love X author" or "I'm getting into Y hobby" then add a little note under their name. These can be as simple as "Coconut La Croix is their favorite seltzer flavor and brand" to…

> Throughout the year whenever you hear them say "I love X author" I thought of this, but one risk is that if you know they love the author, they probably already own the book. And if they don't love the author, you're back to "will they like my gift?".

Bookstores often let you return and credit it to another purchase. Good reason to avoid online I suppose, unless they can streamline that.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#228

Post by nitwit005 » Wed, Dec 02, 2020, 4:07 AM UTC

I tend to view birthdays, weddings, and Christmas as the worst time to give a gift. Your gift is likely to be considered a social obligation (because it is), and people may judge it against other gifts they received.

Some wine bottle or home made cookies can have far more impact if given at another time.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#229

Post by tehjoker » Wed, Dec 02, 2020, 4:11 AM UTC

latexr wrote: post #174

the_af wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Throughout the year whenever you hear them say "I love X author" I thought of this, but one risk is that if you know they love the author, they probably already own the book. And if they don't love the author, you're back to "will they like my gift?".

You don’t have to limit yourself to the author they love. Quite the contrary, it’s a good opportunity to expand the person’s selection. Ask them what they love about the author. Not only does that make you a more interested friend, it gives you valuable information when looking for a gift. Ask online (or the sales person at the bookshop) “what do I get for someone who likes author X for reasons Y” and pick what reson…

My parents did me a great favor when one year they got me a book on Richard Feynman. I was very much into his stories and trying to understand his perspective on physics for a long long time after.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#230

Post by chadash » Wed, Dec 02, 2020, 4:20 AM UTC

The worst is receiving a gift that’s worse than nothing at all. If I buy you a book and you don’t like it, you’ll be put in an awkward position if you don’t read it and I ask about it. If I buy you a painting and you don’t like it, you will be put in an awkward position if you don’t hang out. If I buy you photography lessons, you might feel obligated to attend even if you don’t want to.

But if I buy you a bottle of wine, best case you love it, worst case you regift it. If I buy you a gift card to a local restaurant, best case you go there excitedly and order starters and desserts that you may not normally treat yourself to. Worst case, you’ll find SOMETHING decent on the menu. Or even just order takeout. When getting a gift, I always like to think what’s the worst case scenario if the person really doesn’t like it.