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How to buy gifts that people actually want

willpatrick.co.uk

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Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#141

Post by free2OSS »

war1025 wrote: post #115
free2OSS wrote: post #103

My buddy loves taco bell fire sauce. I've been saving my extras all year. He actually buys the containers at the grocery store. Time to see if he likes it. Edit- we don't exchange gifts and we both have plenty of money. Half joke gift, half useful.

We went trick or treating with some friends this year and afterward when we were eating the candy, my friend mentioned that he always loved Airheads growing up and was swiping them out of his son's basket. Thinking of getting him a box of them for Christmas just as a "I noticed something you liked" type gift.

I do something similar with my wife. She likes various asian sauces for stirfry, how about 15 different sauces!

I go a bit crazy when I can spend 20 dollars and be absurd with quantity. My cousins love getting 20 hershey bars or a variety.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#142

Post by bisby »

boatsie wrote: post #50
Afton wrote: post #4

Interesting that they didn't really touch on what I consider the hardest part of buying for someone: domain expertise. If I am known as 'into' something, then the likelihood that someone who isn't also into that same thing will come up with a good gift is shockingly low. I bake bread, for example. A book of 100 bread recipes is basically dead weight to me. I have a friend who is really into knives of various sorts. E…

Yes, this is the problem with gift giving something a person is “passionate” about— that passion means they probably already have the things they want and likely also has strong preferences you are unlikely to know anyways. I find buying a shared experience is better— a meal, dessert, golf, spa, etc. You get to spend time together, you get the benefit too, and it will not tend to be more memorable than some random gi…

My wife hates this. Everything I want that I can afford, I already own. Anything I want that I can't afford, I shouldn't be receiving as a gift from someone else. That leaves the only remaining case of "things I don't want". So duplicate gifts, expensive gifts, or bad gifts.

This puts us into the category that the article states you don't want to be in: guessing for things the other person wants (but doesn't know they want). this works great for me and my wife. it becomes an adventure of learning about each other. Not so much for aunts/uncles/etc. Cash, or nothing is fine. I feel worse about getting some knick knack that gets thrown out than just getting nothing.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#143

Post by mauvehaus »

nicbou wrote: post #80
Sohcahtoa82 wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When possible, this is when gift cards are great. My niece is an aspiring artist, and rather than trying to find out what art supplies she wants/needs, I got her a gift card to the art supply store that I know she shops at. Of course, "when possible" is a key word here. Not every store sells gift cards, and sometimes the well-known stores aren't the best deals. Like, I might be interested in making fun electric gadge…

Honestly I'm not a big fan of gift cards. The point of gift giving is to show you care, and gift cards feel like you're just trying to fulfil a social obligation without putting much thought into it. I'd rather use them as a last resort, for people I don't know so well.

I dunno. I know any number of woodworker friends who are tickled pink to get e.g. Lie-Nielsen gift cards so they can get what they want for themselves once they accumulate enough. I think this perfectly nails the point of the article though, about how the giver has different motivations than the receiver.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#144

Post by cwkoss »

tbirdz wrote: post #18

What do you do if you genuinely don't want anything? It seems like people don't believe you and keep harassing you asking for what you really want, and then get really frustrated when you keep saying "No, really I don't want anything ". Then they either respect your wishes and don't get anything, but seem to harbor some kind of resentment against you in their heart, or they get some random garbage you don't want and…

Ask for them to donate to a specific charity on your behalf.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#145

Post by sokoloff »

jeffreyrogers wrote: post #117
joshstrange wrote: post #21

Best gift advice I give regularly: Keep a note on your phone (doesn't matter the app Apple Notes, Google Keep, SimpleNote, Drafts, etc) with a header for each person you want to get a gift for. Throughout the year whenever you hear them say "I love X author" or "I'm getting into Y hobby" then add a little note under their name. These can be as simple as "Coconut La Croix is their favorite seltzer flavor and brand" to…

I was going to post the same advice. I haven't had trouble coming up with gift ideas for family/friends I see regularly since doing this. Also, thanks for referencing BarkBox. I wasn't aware of it before. Edit: As an additional benefit, if you start doing this people will shocked that you remembered some offhand comment they made so they think you're a much better listener than you actually are.

In that particular case, you heard words and took a relevant action; in my book, that made you a better listener in reality, not just in appearance.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#146

Post by learnstats2 »

Sohcahtoa82 wrote: post #79

The worst, IMO, is getting something that's similar to what they asked for, but not quite, and the distinction matters. When I was 10, I really enjoyed Monopoly with my friends, but my parent's set was missing pieces and just overall in bad shape, so I asked for a new Monopoly set for Christmas. My grandma bought me Monopoly Junior, which was an entirely different game, and I was actually upset by it. Years later, wh…

Around the age of 10 as well, a parent asked me if I was excited about the new PlayStation and if I wanted one for Christmas.

I made it painfully clear that I would still much prefer a SNES, and wasn't so bothered about a PlayStation.

It turned out that they had already bought a PlayStation before asking me (I'm sure they were sold out everywhere when I was asked), and so I got a PlayStation for Christmas.

Which was great! In theory.

But, overall I felt such a desperate disappointment that I hadn't been listened to.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#147

Post by cwkoss »

busterarm wrote: post #30
bitxbitxbitcoin wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your post really struck a chord with me because I'm the type of person that likes to give books as a gift. As the type of person that would totally give a book of 100 bread recipes to someone that I just know "bakes bread," I'm wondering if you think there are book gifts that someone could get you using that mindset and just a little more thinking about depth of domains. One doesn't need to know anything about baking…

My intuition would be to not give a book on baking bread, but on something tangential to bread baking... like a book on brewing or other kinds of fermentation! Something that connects with their expertise but is new to both of you. If somebody is into knives, maybe gift a course on blacksmithing or some japanese whetstones.

Or unusual bread supplies could be cool. Like flour made from ancient grains and/or ground with a traditional stone mill, etc.

For knives, a nice grind stone or knife oil could be useful.

I think splurge hobby consumables is a great way to go.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#148

Post by mauvehaus »

war1025 wrote: post #109
busterarm wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My intuition would be to not give a book on baking bread, but on something tangential to bread baking... like a book on brewing or other kinds of fermentation! Something that connects with their expertise but is new to both of you. If somebody is into knives, maybe gift a course on blacksmithing or some japanese whetstones.

> or some japanese whetstones I bought a set of diamond sharpening plates this summer after having had a cheap Arkansas stone for several years. Night and day difference. I can actually get things sharp quickly and consistently now. Since we're on the topic of gifts, if someone out there is thinking of a sharpening setup as a gift, can't recommend diamond plates highly enough. I bought a 300 / 600 / 1200 grit set off…

A good coarse stone makes all the difference. I have a 220/320 grit diamond plate for flattening my water stones, but it does wonders for making sharpening knives non-onerous.

Woodworkers might be interested in the Norton water stone starter set of 2 combo stones 220/1000 and 4000/8000. The 220 wears out of flat so quickly it's useless, but I have the diamond plate anyhow. The 1000 and 8000 are great. The 4000 is a little soft, and you'll replace it before the others. Personally, I'll be replacing it with the Shapton equivalent in another year or two.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#149

Post by Ekaros »

bitxbitxbitcoin wrote: post #28
Afton wrote: post #4

Interesting that they didn't really touch on what I consider the hardest part of buying for someone: domain expertise. If I am known as 'into' something, then the likelihood that someone who isn't also into that same thing will come up with a good gift is shockingly low. I bake bread, for example. A book of 100 bread recipes is basically dead weight to me. I have a friend who is really into knives of various sorts. E…

Your post really struck a chord with me because I'm the type of person that likes to give books as a gift. As the type of person that would totally give a book of 100 bread recipes to someone that I just know "bakes bread," I'm wondering if you think there are book gifts that someone could get you using that mindset and just a little more thinking about depth of domains. One doesn't need to know anything about baking…

With comment about in-depth book about bread I remembered this: https://modernistcuisine.com/books/modernist-bread/ 25 kilos, about 2600 pages of book...

What happens if person isn't that interested on the subject after all... Maybe a book might be a good one, but still total overkill. And maybe even harmful if subject isn't ready to invest even more...

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#150

Post by joshstrange »

_carbyau_ wrote: post #78
joshstrange wrote: post #21

Best gift advice I give regularly: Keep a note on your phone (doesn't matter the app Apple Notes, Google Keep, SimpleNote, Drafts, etc) with a header for each person you want to get a gift for. Throughout the year whenever you hear them say "I love X author" or "I'm getting into Y hobby" then add a little note under their name. These can be as simple as "Coconut La Croix is their favorite seltzer flavor and brand" to…

Personally, I haven't implemented this though I know I should... but I came across this idea in Robert Heinleins Double Star as a reference to Farley Files. In essence, Farley was Roosevelts aid and kept files on everyone he met so before meeting them again Roosevelt could cram study and "recall everything about them" like they were a close personal friend. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farley_file For some reason th…

This is very interesting and something I've been playing around with in my head. I keep "chasing the dragon" when it comes to note taking apps/approaches. I've played with everything from NvAlt+SimpleNote (for iOS), Evernote, Notion, Drafts, Editorial, Obsidian, and more. Most recently when I was experimenting with the Zettelkasten notes system (in Obsidian) I got the idea that I would want to do exactly what you talk about and have a "note" per person where I could store trivia, gift ideas, birthdates, etc.

Unfortunately I either don't fully understand Zettelkasten or I am paralyzed by indecision on where I split my notes and how I organize them. I guess I'll just continue using Drafts as my "brain dump"/"all text starts here" until I can find something better that is lightweight and works across iOS/macOS.

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