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How to buy gifts that people actually want

willpatrick.co.uk

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Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#101

Post by dsr_ »

Afton wrote: post #74
dsr_ wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Since I know about knives, I would buy them a knife. If I was an accomplished bread baker, I would give them a couple of loaves each week for a month -- unless I knew they had a dietary issue. Don't buy a book about programming for a programmer; do buy the best book on programming in Python for a kid who shows interest.

You can, but if you consider knives an uninteresting kitchen tool, then you have just given them a $300 knife that they will feel bad about every time they use it open a can of beans. btw: if you do know about knives, please hit me up at my email address and let me pick your brain a bit. [Edit: my email address wasn't in my profile. fixed, but I'll reach out to folks shortly, thanks!].

I do know a bit about knives. Your email address isn't in your profile. Mine is in mine; feel free.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#102

Post by notatoad »

tbirdz wrote: post #18

What do you do if you genuinely don't want anything? It seems like people don't believe you and keep harassing you asking for what you really want, and then get really frustrated when you keep saying "No, really I don't want anything ". Then they either respect your wishes and don't get anything, but seem to harbor some kind of resentment against you in their heart, or they get some random garbage you don't want and…

just ask for socks. it's the socially acceptable way to opt out of the gift giving ritual.

you need socks, you can safely assume nobody is going to blow too much money on socks, and whoever really wants to give you a gift gets to feel like they have given you something you wanted, and you don't have to get into the whole "no really, i don't want anything" debate.

food is also a good option, but there's always the risk of putting somebody who really can't cook in the awkward position of feeling like they should. anybody can buy socks, and there's no pressure that socks should be homemade.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#104

Post by nvarsj »

Sohcahtoa82 wrote: post #79

The worst, IMO, is getting something that's similar to what they asked for, but not quite, and the distinction matters. When I was 10, I really enjoyed Monopoly with my friends, but my parent's set was missing pieces and just overall in bad shape, so I asked for a new Monopoly set for Christmas. My grandma bought me Monopoly Junior, which was an entirely different game, and I was actually upset by it. Years later, wh…

Sorta off topic but those local weather stations are great in my opinion. Your phone app is usually much less accurate compared to the weather sampled in your backyard. They even predict local conditions pretty well. When I was cycling daily it was so helpful knowing exactly what gear to wear, whereas the weather app was hopelessly inaccurate.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#105

Post by war1025 »

alexhutcheson wrote: post #92
bitxbitxbitcoin wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your post really struck a chord with me because I'm the type of person that likes to give books as a gift. As the type of person that would totally give a book of 100 bread recipes to someone that I just know "bakes bread," I'm wondering if you think there are book gifts that someone could get you using that mindset and just a little more thinking about depth of domains. One doesn't need to know anything about baking…

Tyler Cowen has an interesting perspective on giving books as gifts: https://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2018/09/he...

That post seems to be referring more to donating used books rather than buying a book for someone as a gift.

Seems like a different topic entirely to me, but maybe I'm missing something.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#106

Post by the_af »

joshstrange wrote: post #21

Best gift advice I give regularly: Keep a note on your phone (doesn't matter the app Apple Notes, Google Keep, SimpleNote, Drafts, etc) with a header for each person you want to get a gift for. Throughout the year whenever you hear them say "I love X author" or "I'm getting into Y hobby" then add a little note under their name. These can be as simple as "Coconut La Croix is their favorite seltzer flavor and brand" to…

> Throughout the year whenever you hear them say "I love X author"

I thought of this, but one risk is that if you know they love the author, they probably already own the book. And if they don't love the author, you're back to "will they like my gift?".

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#107

Post by dbspin »

alexhutcheson wrote: post #92
bitxbitxbitcoin wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your post really struck a chord with me because I'm the type of person that likes to give books as a gift. As the type of person that would totally give a book of 100 bread recipes to someone that I just know "bakes bread," I'm wondering if you think there are book gifts that someone could get you using that mindset and just a little more thinking about depth of domains. One doesn't need to know anything about baking…

Tyler Cowen has an interesting perspective on giving books as gifts: https://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2018/09/he...

This is quite frankly ludicrous, and speaks to an unintentionally humorous pomposity.

It's quite literally impossible to estimate the potential utility of another persons leisure time. But part of the joy of gift giving is trying to figure out what they might enjoy. Just as part of the social game of gifting is to see what others think you might like. It's a way of opening up to new experiences granted by people who know you. Ideally scaffolding perspectives and pleasures that appeal but were outside what you'd normally enjoy. An unread book can always be regifted, and it takes a sociopath to regard a gifted book as an insult.

Sure, if your goal is to maximise the utility of every moment algorithmically, this might seem wasteful. But you're also very likely not any fun at all, and have few people to gift.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#109

Post by war1025 »

busterarm wrote: post #30
bitxbitxbitcoin wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your post really struck a chord with me because I'm the type of person that likes to give books as a gift. As the type of person that would totally give a book of 100 bread recipes to someone that I just know "bakes bread," I'm wondering if you think there are book gifts that someone could get you using that mindset and just a little more thinking about depth of domains. One doesn't need to know anything about baking…

My intuition would be to not give a book on baking bread, but on something tangential to bread baking... like a book on brewing or other kinds of fermentation! Something that connects with their expertise but is new to both of you. If somebody is into knives, maybe gift a course on blacksmithing or some japanese whetstones.

> or some japanese whetstones

I bought a set of diamond sharpening plates this summer after having had a cheap Arkansas stone for several years.

Night and day difference.

I can actually get things sharp quickly and consistently now.

Since we're on the topic of gifts, if someone out there is thinking of a sharpening setup as a gift, can't recommend diamond plates highly enough.

I bought a 300 / 600 / 1200 grit set off Amazon for I think $100

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#110

Post by dbspin »

Sohcahtoa82 wrote: post #79

The worst, IMO, is getting something that's similar to what they asked for, but not quite, and the distinction matters. When I was 10, I really enjoyed Monopoly with my friends, but my parent's set was missing pieces and just overall in bad shape, so I asked for a new Monopoly set for Christmas. My grandma bought me Monopoly Junior, which was an entirely different game, and I was actually upset by it. Years later, wh…

Your examples all speak to attending superficially to another persons request or interests, then half assedly following through. My parents did the same thing, alas.
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