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How to buy gifts that people actually want

willpatrick.co.uk

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Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#91

Post by mturmon »

graftak wrote: post #22
tbirdz wrote: post #18

What do you do if you genuinely don't want anything? It seems like people don't believe you and keep harassing you asking for what you really want, and then get really frustrated when you keep saying "No, really I don't want anything ". Then they either respect your wishes and don't get anything, but seem to harbor some kind of resentment against you in their heart, or they get some random garbage you don't want and…

Ask for consumables

Agree. Relatedly, services, like massage. Or a few months of flower deliveries. Or for the practical, home cleaning or car detailing. Generally, stuff the giftee might not get for themself.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#92

Post by alexhutcheson »

bitxbitxbitcoin wrote: post #28
Afton wrote: post #4

Interesting that they didn't really touch on what I consider the hardest part of buying for someone: domain expertise. If I am known as 'into' something, then the likelihood that someone who isn't also into that same thing will come up with a good gift is shockingly low. I bake bread, for example. A book of 100 bread recipes is basically dead weight to me. I have a friend who is really into knives of various sorts. E…

Your post really struck a chord with me because I'm the type of person that likes to give books as a gift. As the type of person that would totally give a book of 100 bread recipes to someone that I just know "bakes bread," I'm wondering if you think there are book gifts that someone could get you using that mindset and just a little more thinking about depth of domains. One doesn't need to know anything about baking…

Tyler Cowen has an interesting perspective on giving books as gifts: https://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2018/09/he...

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#93

Post by deadfish »

As an adult I find the gifts that I appreciate most are the luxury versions of simple useful things.

If I wanted aftershave, chocolate, socks, a phone, a laptop (insert any other typical gift here) I would have bought them.

I would not have bought harrods teabags or a cashmere scarf... but everytime I use them they make me smile.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#95

Post by nicbou »

samizdis wrote: post #43

From the perspective of someone who suffers from gift-choice anxiety, that was a useful article. (Kudos, too, to several commenters here, particularly @afton wrt domain expertise. This is so easy to mess up, especially buying for kids/teens.) But - tangential, I realise - what about asking why we buy Christmas (or holiday) gifts, and especially with a scattergun approach: buy for everyone you know (family, friends, c…

What you describe is the most important part of Christmas for me. I don't think gift-giving should be the main event, but rather an extra after a lavish meal with the ones you love.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#96

Post by elwell »

war1025 wrote: post #69

> Likewise, the curse of the ‘associated gift’ happens all the time. My mom does this all the time. I remember one year I wanted a lava lamp and a fish tank. Instead she got me a fish tank themed lamp.

Might as well train a new GPT for gift giving or a markov chain

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#97

Post by kd0amg »

yarcob wrote: post #77
busterarm wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My intuition would be to not give a book on baking bread, but on something tangential to bread baking... like a book on brewing or other kinds of fermentation! Something that connects with their expertise but is new to both of you. If somebody is into knives, maybe gift a course on blacksmithing or some japanese whetstones.

As a recipient of a blacksmithing course I'd like to say it was one of the best gifts I ever got. But it's a pretty expensive gift. But I've also been given knives a few times, and I loved most of them. It's not like you can have too many knives. I'm not sure what I'd do with an extra set of whetstones though.

I've been blacksmithing long enough to have arguably too many knives.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#98

Post by arkitaip »

thisistheend123 wrote: post #27

Buying a gift is such a 20th century thing. Maybe reaching out to someone on phone or in person, every now and then, in times of happiness and despair, is a greater gift. Dishing out money is the easy way out.

You really need to do both with people you care about.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#99

Post by nicbou »

1auralynn wrote: post #39

A few years ago I realized the most important part of gift giving is to devote some amount of time to really focus on a person and think about what they might want or like or need. In my opinion, this is the only part that matters, and if you take the pressure off of yourself for actually giving a great gift, sometimes you end up getting them something great anyway, because you're freed up to really meditate on them…

This is why gift cards rub me the wrong way. I don't want 50€ to throw on top of the pile.

Re: How to buy gifts that people actually want

#100

Post by MarkLowenstein »

thisistheend123 wrote: post #27

Buying a gift is such a 20th century thing. Maybe reaching out to someone on phone or in person, every now and then, in times of happiness and despair, is a greater gift. Dishing out money is the easy way out.

Perfect! The wealthy world has ascended the Maslow pyramid to the point that our itches are no longer scratched by material stuff. Isn't this the situation that spiritual people have been begging for for millenia?

Now it's time to move onto people's real problems: loneliness, hopelessness, etc.

For those people saying it's an American thing: yes, you're right--we've been on the wealth train for long enough that we've lost that urge to maximize everything. Do we need yet another item that becomes trash? No, we'd rather not waste the money and resources because it's no big deal to have yet another trinket around. And I'm sure the rest of the wealthy world will be with us on this before too long--maybe when a majority of their population didn't grow up combatting scarcity as kids.

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