Physical theories as women - Timothy McSweeney's

I met this little girl named Logo when I was just a boy. I have no idea what she's doing these days, but I still think about her. She was my first romance.

I took BASIC to a dance in middle school. I was so clueless about how to talk to her that more often than not I would have to quote magazines verbatim as a way of communicating. As a result she never respected me and I never felt comfortable around her. We broke up after the dance.

I didn't really date in high school.

Pascal was my college girlfriend. At first I couldn't believe she was so scantily clad -- where were her line numbers? We had a brief torrid affair. When I got a chess simulation to compile on my first try I thought that maybe I should major in CS to spend more time with her, but ended up studying other subjects and got involved with completely different kinds of women.

After a circuitous way back to programming, I ended up involved in an office affair with a coworker named C. I worked as hard as I could to prove myself worthy of her but she seemed so cold. I never really knew what she thought of me. Our relationship taught me a lot, though.

When trying to complete a masters in CS I got involved with a woman named C++. It was a dark, confusing time. She was crazy. I always suspected she was abusing drugs, and cheating on me with one of my professors.

I finally settled down and got married to Java. We've been through so many ups and downs together it's hard to imagine life without her, although I must admit that my eye has been wondering lately. Some really hot women have been flirting with me and sorely testing my fidelity. I don't consider myself the cheating type, but it's all I think about sometimes. Maybe I'm having a mid-life crisis.

statistical mechanics: moody, frequent phase transitions

condensed matter theory: field theory's materialistic sister

nuclear theory: angsty valerie salonas type, likes dancing in circles with other angsty femmes

"Valentine’s Day Developer: Trail of Tiers"

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