Lies We Tell Kids • Hacker News Board

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#391

Post by sehe » Wed, Jul 02, 2008, 6:45 PM UTC

allenbrunson wrote: post #159

pg quotes Peter Mayle, writing about divorce: "You shouldn't put the blame on one parent, because divorce is never only one person's fault." to that pg replies: "Really? When a man runs off with his secretary, is it always partly his wife's fault?" my answer to that would be: yes, even in that case, the guy's wife has to take part of the blame. she married him in the first place. if she was observant, she would have…

I agree. In manner of response to the very agitated repliers: I'm not saying that sharing fault is something to be ashamed of.

I'm not also morally condemning my parents for lying to me, keeping me away from nice things and generally failing to teach me everything they should have known.

I'm not going to condemn anyone for trying to make a relationship work and then recognizing it failed. Maybe you failed. Maybe you had poor judgement. Whatever. It failed.

It is partly my fault that me and my wife are still together. I'm proud of that. I'll still be proud of that when she leaves me in 10 years. And I have been sharing the guilt.

I'm not big on the 'you can always see it coming' argument. I think there is always a reason person X wants to break up. And that reason must have something to do with person Y as well, otherwise, why break up?

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#392

Post by tedward » Tue, Jul 15, 2008, 3:18 AM UTC

It might help to substitute "ignorance" instead of "innocence" in your essay. To be innocent primarily means to 'do no harm' not "to be ignorant" of the truth. I think many parents keep their kids ignorant (of evil) because they think it will help keep them innocent (free of the sin of committing evil). As you imply, for a time, this seems right, but eventually you need controlled exposure to toxins (ethical, etc.) to learn how to protect your self.

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#393

Post by gcolpitts » Wed, Jul 16, 2008, 10:53 PM UTC

Since we lie to kids maybe we simultaneously tell them to read adult literature so that they'll learn about some of the lies. Since we are uncomfortable with the truth's in adult literature maybe this is why children's literature is now so popular with parents. Annie Dillard (in her autobiography, American Childhood, I think) wrote about this. When she was a kid she remembered wondering "do adults know what's in these books they are telling us to read ?"

It's interesting that parents seem very sensitive to the contradiction of their lies in adult tv shows and movies but oblivious to the same problem in adult literature. (By adult I mean not non-juvenile not explictly sexual material)

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#394

Post by viper-2 » Sun, Jul 20, 2008, 2:41 PM UTC

PG:

"The famous scientists I remember were Einstein, Marie Curie, and George Washington Carver."

You've forgotten that you mentioned Newton some time ago as one of your heroes!

http://www.paulgraham.com/heroes.html

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#395

Post by nashnova » Mon, Jul 21, 2008, 6:28 AM UTC

sky is blue

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#396

Post by SkunkyTruck » Mon, Jul 28, 2008, 4:58 AM UTC

Great article...kinda scary, though, from the point of view of a young adult (22) trying to shake a lifetime of careful indoctrination and religious brainwashing.

One begins to wonder...is any of it true? As Pilate asked, "What is Truth?" Is it even possible to find truth within one lifetime...and if so, how is it possible to know whether it is really truth, or another carefully fabricated lie for the comfort and peace of humanity?

I'm feeling rather skeptical about life right now...just did some research on a subject I was raised to believe was Satan's tool, and discovered all the propaganda I was spoon-fed as a child and teen was just that...more lies, told for the sake of religion.

Not that I am surprised that it isn't a tool of Satan. I certainly became skeptical about that before now. But that all the "facts" my parents used to convince me of it were so totally fake. Especially since they taught me the importance of good research early on. This implies that it was a premeditated lie on their part.

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#397

Post by sriranjanidatta » Thu, Aug 07, 2008, 4:26 PM UTC

parents don't tell lies to protect their children but to protect themselves. they claim themselves to be modern but their mind set is still of the 80s . they think that talking about sex is something very shameful and children having sex is almost unimaginable. moreover they creat an issue about children having sex at the age of 14 because they are afraid of the reaction they would get from their neighbours. "what would people say..." "I will have to stay in this society" etc. so it is not for the good of their children but to save themselves that parents lie. Regards, Sriranjani, india

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#398

Post by snorfys » Wed, Aug 13, 2008, 10:49 PM UTC

sehansen wrote: post #279

mechanical_fish wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is basically right. The words are taboo because it's useful to have taboo words, so the culture deliberately makes them so. Taboo words are useful because they transcend politeness. If a normally civil person comes into your dinner party and tells you that the fucking ceiling is about to fall down , you get moving . You don't waste time looking around for the ironic smile. You don't reproach the person for speak…

My parents always told me not to swear, because if I did, I wouldn't have anything to say when I got hurt. So whenever I cut my finger or anything like that, I would make sure to swear as much as could. :)

Genius.

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#399

Post by the_corrector » Fri, Aug 22, 2008, 9:28 PM UTC

This article is being publicly translated into Russian:

http://translated.by/you/lies-we-tell-kids/trans/

(almost finished)

Re: Lies We Tell Kids

#400

Post by yarnzift » Sat, Aug 23, 2008, 6:19 PM UTC

I wonder why the author remembers Einstein, Curie and Carver. Was it because they were touted as the best scientists? Maybe he remembered them because they were exceptional characters. One reason exceptional characters are emphasized over typical ones in class is to pique interest (the typical student feels atypical).