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My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

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Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#101

Post by helen___keller »

We have a natural tendency to worry about kids, if the technology really is different this time, and dangerous to be giving kids.

Here's another perspective: are there socially well-adjusted adults who get sucked into it and ruin their lives? We're inclined to care about the kids most, but kids are resilient and continue to grow and adjust and change over the years. What about their parents? Are there adults who get sucked into social media addiction and it ruins their lives? If yes, how common would you say it is?

(I'm not trying to lead an answer here. I thought about it for a couple minutes and I haven't decided for myself.)

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#102

Post by onemoresoop »

nashashmi wrote: post #9

Legos also harm creativity. Perfection also harms creativity. In fact there was a economic theorist who claimed that by introducing limitations in a system you also introduce entrepreneurship and innovation.

Legos? Their innate limitation as simple bricks that can be shaped into many things is what makes them creative in my opinion. Though I suspect what you may be hinting at. If kids have no toys they'd use their imagination more or make their own toys.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#104

Post by yayr »

As others pointed out, there are some solutions:

- use screentime to understand the issues and set guidances or restrictions: https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT208982

- have open discussions about behavioural patterns in your kids to make them understand better what is good for them

To find the right balance between convenience, social pressures and the things that are actually good for oneself even if inconvenient is an everlasting struggle. This is best to be addressed early in life with good guidance.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#105

Post by aperrien »

jbob2000 wrote: post #80
parksy wrote: post #45

My dad smashed my computer around the laundry (where the computer lived) with my cricket bat because I was "playing games" instead of studying. "playing games" was using assembly language and pascal with s3m libraries to program a game. With my kids I've felt the rise of anger when they want to be autonomous and pursue their own interests. I mean, I was taught that parenthood is subjugation. But just like my dad coul…

Are you happy? I missed so many experiences sitting in front of the computer all day, it didn’t really get me any further than if I had taken a more modest interest. YouTube and Minecraft and these digital realities are fake realities. Whatever happiness they provide is temporary and short lived. It took me until my 30s to realize this and now I’m starting all over again. Digital stuff is fine in moderation, but I wi…

All happiness is temporary and short lived. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. I believe that any action that gave us truly permanent happiness would turn us into lotus eaters...

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#106

Post by analog31 »

greysonp wrote: post #73

A lot of the comments here seem to be saying that (1) kids getting addicted to phones is no different than getting addicted to TV, books, etc, and that this is just the latest iteration of a complaint parents have had for generations and (2) this person is a bad parent. I used to agree with (1), but lately I'm inclined to think that this time, it really is different. Very different. And the primary reason is that unl…

"Bad parent" can be applied to anything that goes wrong, and is an empty assertion. And it seems to be asymmetrically applied to mothers, not fathers.

Also, one of the first rules of parenting is, never show any sign of weakness in public, or you will be attacked ruthlessly. It's a variant on the old saying, "Never let them see you sweat."

This bias in the literature makes it look like there are some brilliant parents out there, who have found the secret for success that the rest of us can "just" follow. There are of course parallels in the business literature.

The best formula I have observed is that obedient, self disciplined children tend to have obedient, self disciplined parents.

I overheard a discussion between two friends about the effects of TV on behavior. One friend's argument: "Of course commercial TV affects behavior. That's its purpose." This stuff is designed to manipulate us. Maybe that's possible with books too, but books have just not risen to that level of sophistication.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#107

Post by onemoresoop »

monkin wrote: post #20

How is this “iPhone” fault? “Smartphone” isn’t good for SEO anymore?

I don't think it's about IPhone or smartphones per see but the technology/software running on them which turns them into skinner boxes and which are not even constrained to certain physicals spaces as they are being carried and used everywhere. And the 9 hours on the phone is an absolutely worrying thing.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#108

Post by floren »

pwinnski wrote: post #69
ed25519FUUU wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are a lucky one, because at that time to your interests in computing would lead to job opportunities. I’m afraid it is not so with an iPhone. Our phones take without giving. Now excuse me I should probably log off and do something useful.

The head of technical support at the company for which I work recently quit her job to support her husband's streaming career. He makes in three months more than I do in a year. This idea that things like iPhones, or video games, or any other piece of technology cannot possibly be productive or profitable in the future, it's got to die. When I was young, my passion for computers meant I wouldn't become the lawyer peo…

> The head of technical support at the company for which I work recently quit her job to support her husband's streaming career. He makes in three months more than I do in a year.

For every one of those, there are hundreds of streamers who quit their jobs to focus on streaming but ended up broke, and thousands of streamers who spend every free moment outside of their day job trying to build a following but never get there.

The old dream of rock stardom, well, you get a guitar and figure out that it's actually hard and maybe you shelve that. Streaming... anybody can play Minecraft, so you can keep the dream alive a lot longer.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#109

Post by JoeCianflone »

What a load of shit. I’m sorry I have an 11 year old who has an iPod touch the real problem here is lax parenting. My son cannot use his phone alone in his room alone, he doesn’t have TikTok or any social media apps. He cannot take it to school (not that there’s a school to go to at the moment) or take it out of the house unless he asks first and 95% of the time we don’t let him. Kids test—that’s like an iron law of childhood. It’s your job as a parent to set boundaries. Set the rules and set the consequences and then FOLLOW THROUGH on the consequences. This is the equivalent of lazy parents in the 80s blaming “death metal” for their children’s problems, or lazy parents in the 90s blaming video games, or 2000s parents blaming the internet. It’s you—all these problems are your fault.

Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone

#110

Post by rekabis »

ttul wrote: post #96
sequoia wrote: post #87

Buried lede: > My daughter doesn’t return home from school until 6:30 pm and still has to eat, bathe, and get ready for bed. Perhaps it is not just the iPhone, but school taking up 100% of her time, energy, and attention that is preventing her from pursuing creative interests? As a homeschooling parent whose kids have been in school at times, I see this first hand. School is exhausting . Between rising unnaturally ea…

I have done home schooling and regular public schooling. If you can afford to have a parent be at home full time with your kids, you are amongst the wealthiest in the world. You are fortunate.

Or the poorest. Especially if you cannot find a job that pays more than daytime child care costs. Then it’s cheaper to have a parent stay at home, despite the poverty level, because any daycare available costs more than any available job brings in.
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