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Ask HN: Are you depressed?

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Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#431

Post by kamyarg »

seyedmm021 wrote: post #303

I'm living in Iran. Here the situation is disaster. it gets worth when you grow up in religious family. I can not listen to any music, watching any movie or even worth I can not play any video games easily.. Economical situation here is disaster so I can not rent a new apartment and move in.. I forced to go to male-only school, male-only high-school and even now I study computer science at a male-only university. And…

Wish you luck in getting over this period.

Just keep in mind that your advantage is Computer Science and speaking English, use that to get yourself to a better place.

I know it is hard with Mandatory military draft, blocked banking system, covid lockdowns and many other issues, but it is doable.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#432

Post by matthewheath »

bibo1927 wrote: post #217
matthewheath wrote: post #125

Yes. I started a new job (software engineering again) at the start of the pandemic. I feel like I burned a bridge with my manager prior to leaving so ... I won't be able to return to that company in the future. Haven't really spoken to anyone outside of work (tiny company, too) since March. Left to my own devices at work. Haven't seen anyone in person since April. Spend most of my days online and alone. Attempted sui…

Hey Bro, If you want someone to talk/help, please let me know.

Sure, but you don't have any contact information in your profile. My email address is in mine if you want to email me.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#433

Post by np- »

0xy wrote: post #283
Subsentient wrote: post #246

I was miserable before it was cool. Before the pandemic, I had a development job in the neighboring city. I'd take a 2 hour commute each way, and when I got home, I'd immediately collapse, sleep, wake up, and head right back to work. I didn't check my phone, my voicemail, my email, or call anyone. Just sleep. I rarely ate. I listened to a lot of death metal during that time. The pandemic hit, and I lost my job, then…

I don't mean to attack you, but why wouldn't you just move closer? Your weekly commute time multiplied by your hourly salary is likely significantly more than the increased rent, no matter where you lived. I've never understood why people make those choices.

Not the original poster, but plenty of people have higher priority obligations in life outside of their job that would make it impossible to move. Family, health, etc.

I'm not trying to personally attack you either, but one trend I have noticed on HN is many comments acting like everybody is an unencumbered 25-year old American CS grad for whom the world is their oyster, and not quite "understanding" that others might be stuck in the real world due to circumstances not quite of their own choosing. A lot of which leads to innocent comments like yours pushing readers further into despair and less likely to ask for help.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#434

Post by thomastjeffery »

davidn20 wrote: post #383

Am I depressed? No. Was I depressed? Maybe. I don't know if I've ever been depressed. But, there was definitely periods in my life where I felt miserable for a long time (6 months to years). During these times-- I was listless, lack motivation, and had typical symptoms for depression. However, it never crossed a threshold where I would call it depression. Mostly because I still felt like I was in control. When I didn…

> When I didn't get out of bed for the day, it wasn't because I literally can't.

If that was what depression looked like, it wouldn't be called "depression". It would be called "disability".

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#435

Post by shard »

I feel like I am one of the few who is actually loving the WFH, and am feeling better than ever. Most of my coworkers complain about feeling isolated and looking forward to returning to the office, and I don't feel like I can tell them that I much prefer the current situation.

With WFH, I now have enough flexibility to work whenever I want to, which allows me to indulge my night owl instincts without it affecting my work, and also allows me to nap whenever I need during the day.

I am already a major homebody, so staying home almost every day fits me very well. I don't have a great need to meet people face-to-face, so the fact that most meetings are voice only works very well for me as well. Social interactions at work always stresses me out a bit, as I feel like I have to put on a performance whenever it happens.

I am not looking forward to when COVID-19 is under control and the office opens, as my employer has made it clear that we are all expected to return to the office once it is safe. Not only do I have to put on a performance all day long, I lose the commute time and flexibility of work hours.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#436

Post by vasco »

herman_toothrot wrote: post #381
vasco wrote: post #242

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would recommend a motorcycle instead

Can anyone expand on the reason behind this recommendation?

A person needs a will to live, so to speak, a purpose. While a higher purpose might be achievable through helping others or religion or whatever, you can also distract yourself and have a really cool time by doing cool shit. And that's motorcycles. It's feeling the breeze and the road changing and the temperature go down as you go into a forest, it's smelling the sea and feeling the breeze in your face, it's the speed and the bit of danger and the fact that you're part of that curve, you're not just steering a wheel, you're committed to it. And it's camping at the end of a long day riding, and riding with your buddies, discovering new roads just because they're twisty. And it's working on your motorcycle or being part of a club, or a group of weekend rider friends. It's a hobby, and it's a cool one at that.

And for as long as I've had one, not one bad weekend can't be fixed by a short ride.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#438

Post by slfnflctd »

After the second world view I constructed collapsed (after having gone through the same thing with my parents' world view a few years earlier), I was done. I was less than twenty years old.

Since then, I have built & collapsed yet another life philosophy, and am now mostly just trying to keep floating on the raft I've built from whatever I figured out works. It takes a lot of different tools to do this. I've allowed myself to be an addict by many definitions, because it works. All I can do is keep trying to hew toward preserving my health as much as I can stand. It's better to be able to be here than not, that's the best I've got.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#439

Post by Pokepokalypse »

ilikeerp wrote: post #371
sharkweek wrote: post #190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this. To be blunt, it sounds like you’ve been tossed into a blender, and I can’t think of anyone in my life who could have gone through all of what you just described and not feel exhausted so please keep that in mind. It sounds like a lot. I don’t have any advice to give except, if you are able, find and speak to a professional therapist. I thought I was above that sort of…

I wish we could drop the word 'vulnerable'; that's what a gazelle is before a lion rips its head off. The OP was open and honest rather than vulnerable. If we want equality and open dialogue, we have to be careful to make our language inclusive. 'Vulnerable' is associated with being weak for some people and isn't an inclusive word. I don't consider myself vulnerable when I share something close to my heart. I would n…

I think it's a very constructive word.

Because in this world; very often, making yourself emotionally vulnerable DOES expose one to some pretty horrible abuse, if you do it in the wrong setting. And it often ends up making the problem worse, prolonging or even preventing recovery.

We'd really like to live in a world where people are not driven to attack each other when they are down. But unfortunately, that's not the world we live in, and I think people need to be pretty vigilant when they're going through something like this and looking for help. TBH I find that anonymous internet forums are very useful places for this sort of thing, (because they're free, and convenient) - but on the other hand, there are some really bad predators out there who are constantly on the lookout for a gazelle to eat.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#440

Post by _5xsi »

My mother passed away two years ago, while I was an expat far away from home. a day later was her funeral, which I couldn't attend. She was a true friend to me. She hasn't lived for herself even for a moment. Losing her was the the most painful event for me so far. I can't even describe how painful is this. I can say yes I am depressed since then and maybe forever.
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