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Ask HN: Are you depressed?

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Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#371

Post by ilikeerp »

sharkweek wrote: post #190
swat535 wrote: post #186

Nowhere else to post this so here it goes. I lost my job in January. From January - March I started looking for a job and then COVID hits at the height of my search, now suddenly no one is hiring and all the businesses are slowing down. My girlfriend of 13 years left me the day after my birthday in June before I had a chance to propose to her, I had to return the ring, she had no idea and I never told her about it. I…

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this. To be blunt, it sounds like you’ve been tossed into a blender, and I can’t think of anyone in my life who could have gone through all of what you just described and not feel exhausted so please keep that in mind. It sounds like a lot. I don’t have any advice to give except, if you are able, find and speak to a professional therapist. I thought I was above that sort of…

I wish we could drop the word 'vulnerable'; that's what a gazelle is before a lion rips its head off.

The OP was open and honest rather than vulnerable. If we want equality and open dialogue, we have to be careful to make our language inclusive. 'Vulnerable' is associated with being weak for some people and isn't an inclusive word.

I don't consider myself vulnerable when I share something close to my heart. I would never share anything in a space where being 'vulnerable' was encouraged.

Open and honest.. not vulerable.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#372

Post by throwaway39482 »

Posting on a throwaway for reasons.

I take anti-depressants so yes, however, recently I'm not sure how effective they have been, or even if what I am feeling constitutes being depressed.

I find myself constantly oscilating between apathy, loneliness and irrational anger. I've never been a person who really has "friends" so to speak, I have acquaintances and family, I'm close with family but beyond that I don't have anyone I talk to outside of performing my job. It's not like I don't want people to talk to, but I find myself unsure of whether I can't or won't try to connect with others.

More often than not nowadays, I'll get the idea to watch a movie or read a book or just do something, and the idea excites me a little bit, right up until I get to the point where I need to actually do it, and then I just have this crushing moment where I cannot move passed the thoughts "I can't be bothered" or "what's the point?" To the point where I'll just scroll through youtube, looking at everything and have no motivation to watch anything.

Anger is the one that most confuses me, because I am fully conscious of the fact that it is completely irrational, but its still there. It's always things like people driving too slowly or inadvertently getting in my way at the supermarket, or things like a news article. The big one I've found is social media, I look on social media and see everyone looking happy and successful or even just saying something that I disagree with. But, whatever it is, it just makes me so mad.

I’m not really sure what to do, I know I should probably get help, but every time I think about that I keep thinking about how I’ve tried getting help before and here I am, still unhappy, and to top it off, getting worse.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#373

Post by clappski »

throwaway39482 wrote: post #372

Posting on a throwaway for reasons. I take anti-depressants so yes, however, recently I'm not sure how effective they have been, or even if what I am feeling constitutes being depressed. I find myself constantly oscilating between apathy, loneliness and irrational anger. I've never been a person who really has "friends" so to speak, I have acquaintances and family, I'm close with family but beyond that I don't have a…

What you said resonates with me a lot, you’re not alone in how you feel. I find myself losing my temper irregularly over things that wouldn’t normally irritate me. I normally chalk it up to some secondary affect of other stressors or whatever (which helps to bring me back to earth when I recognise I’m being irrational), but I also have the same driven/apathetic thing where I’m really exciting to do something, but when it comes to it I either procrastinate the task enough to become a stressor or convince myself I don’t want to do it and move on. I never framed it in the context of a depression or depressive episode, choosing rather to believe I’m just lazy, so there’s definitely something to think about for me here.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#374

Post by abhayhegde »

guico wrote: post #287

Here‘s an account of someone who answered no, I‘m not depressed. Hoping this offers some light to those who couldn’t answer the same way this time. Like I said, I’m not depressed today but have definitely suffered my share of emotional pain following the loss of my mother and the loneliness that comes with moving to a foreign country where you don’t speak the language. Here are two frameworks I came up with during th…

I could not find your email in your profile. Perhaps you could add it.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#375

Post by regularjack »

hutzlibu wrote: post #238
swat535 wrote: post #186

Nowhere else to post this so here it goes. I lost my job in January. From January - March I started looking for a job and then COVID hits at the height of my search, now suddenly no one is hiring and all the businesses are slowing down. My girlfriend of 13 years left me the day after my birthday in June before I had a chance to propose to her, I had to return the ring, she had no idea and I never told her about it. I…

"My girlfriend of 13 years left me the day after my birthday in June before I had a chance to propose to her" Well, there is a bright side to it. If you would have married and it was about to break soon after, you would have the joy of a legal divorce now on top of it. Instead you are free to find someone new. Possibly better fitting. The world is full of women and other awesome people, you can still connect with. A…

I think dismissing the end of a 13 year relationship with the "plenty of fish in the sea" argument and saying "stop wasting your time" is probably not what OP needs to hear right now.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#376

Post by gonzo41 »

HighlandSpring wrote: post #271
TOMDM wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who has suffered from depression in the past, I'd like to borrow Steven Fry's words on depression: “You don’t get depressed because bad things happen to you. . .depression is something that happens like weather to you, it’s inside you. . .it’s not enough to talk yourself out of it by saying, ‘but I shouldn’t be depressed because I’ve got people who are nice to me’. . .It’s very important, at least to get t…

What is the country that has nearly eradicated covid?

Australia

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#377

Post by stevewodil »

farnsworth wrote: post #241
rsweeney21 wrote: post #208

I'm fighting every day to keep the depression at bay. I've been through the same thing as every one else this year, plus my sister took her on life in March and my startup that was flying in February, has been hammered by the pandemic. I felt like I was about to slide back into depression in May. I needed something that I could accomplish that was completely within my control. I decided to start lifting weights. It h…

How can you start a gym hobby during quarantine? Haven't been to a gym in 8 months even though I still pay my pricy membership just to support them.

There are a lot of good calisthenics workouts that you can try, and I would recommend getting an adjustable set of dumbbells too.

Look at the thenx workouts on youtube to get yourself started.

Ideally you would work each muscle group once or twice a week with 2-3 days rest before you hit the same muscle group again. Most people do a variation of a push / pull / legs split to start.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#378

Post by OPchose88 »

regularjack wrote: post #375
hutzlibu wrote: post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"My girlfriend of 13 years left me the day after my birthday in June before I had a chance to propose to her" Well, there is a bright side to it. If you would have married and it was about to break soon after, you would have the joy of a legal divorce now on top of it. Instead you are free to find someone new. Possibly better fitting. The world is full of women and other awesome people, you can still connect with. A…

I think dismissing the end of a 13 year relationship with the "plenty of fish in the sea" argument and saying "stop wasting your time" is probably not what OP needs to hear right now.

OP can post on a therapy forum not an open forum where frank but non-caustic conversation is allowed.

Connect with real mental health people. Not distant randos via text that doesn’t really help biological processes work themselves out.

Everyone has issues, not just from covid.

Someone is always losing a family member or separating.

You may not know it and make all manner of comments.

What Americans need to do really is get over the obvious failures of their culture and redirect their agency to fixing it concretely.

I look forward to screen addicts doing the opposite.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#379

Post by guico »

abhayhegde wrote: post #374
guico wrote: post #287

Here‘s an account of someone who answered no, I‘m not depressed. Hoping this offers some light to those who couldn’t answer the same way this time. Like I said, I’m not depressed today but have definitely suffered my share of emotional pain following the loss of my mother and the loneliness that comes with moving to a foreign country where you don’t speak the language. Here are two frameworks I came up with during th…

I could not find your email in your profile. Perhaps you could add it.

guilhermemmcoelho@gmail.com

There you go!

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